ok first of all i'm 24 turning 25 in july. i'm not very good socializing with peopel I guess because right now I have zero friends....... I have aquintances but that's it. I just got my first gf 3 months ago lol, and then she broke up with me recently. and the only reason I got a gf was because she liked me and got her friends to get me to ask her out otherwise I wouldn't have asked her out. further i'm still a virgin which makes me feel awkward. I had a chance to have sex with my ex gf but I didn't have condoms on me that night lol and blew my chance. anyways....... because of my lack of experience with girls I feel awkward. my ex gf was also only 17 and she didn't believe me that I was a virgin. she told me she thought I had tons of girls before because she thought I was goodlooking etc. after she broke up with me I heard from her friend that she wanted to get me tested for stds??? wtf I was offended so she obviously didn't believe that I was still a virgin. anyways it makes me feel awkward and less confident. also I just graduated form university so I don't go to school right now. I work 3 days a week and volunteer 2 days a week. at my job I just drive so I don't meet anyone lol, and at my volunteer job I work with elderly people. and on my free time I smoke weed, play guitar and study for my law school entrance exam. i'm planning on going to lawschool in sep 2011 (i'm applying for lawschool this september and it take a year to get accepted). anyways the next year and half I don't see any opportunities for me to meet girls. my last job I met my gf she was a cashier at my current job I drive a car all day lol so I meet no one. and I have no friends at the moment to go out with and meet people. is ther any hope for me? how do most guys meet their gfs? I know a lot of guys that hit on and ask out random girls including cashiers, bank tellers etc but that usually doesn't work and you come off as creepy and desperate. I thought my bank teller might be interested in me because she was asking me a lot of personal questions like what I took in university and where i'm planning to go to lawchool etc. but maybe she was just being friendly lol. i'm clueless when it comes to women. I had no idea my ex giflriend liked me and she told me she was giving me all kinds of signals that she liked me.
The best way to meet girls is via other people in my opinion. Honestly my first goal would be making guy friends, people you can kick it with, and yall going out and them knowing people will bring in the females plus its a total non creeper method. You meet females as friends through friends
I guess. I know a lot of guys met their gf through work. I met my ex girlfriend at work she was a cashier and she told everyone she liked me so her coworkers got me to ask her out and told me seh liked me. but I just got lucky I can't just stand around and hope some girl likes me and gets people to get me to ask her out or else i'll be standing aroudn for years single like I did before I met her lol. I have trouble making guy friends. since I graduated highschool 7 years ago I have had no friends. I made no friends in university my univeristy was a commuter university so I didn't live on campus just went to class and home. honesty making guy friends seems harder for me than getting a girlfriend. a girl you ask out and she either agrees to go on a date with you or rejects you. but making guy friends seems more difficult to me lol.
ur problem is that u can't read people's body language...ur kinda like me but i'm 19 and i'm getting better at picking up ppl's body language and signals from girls
idk, try to make more aquintances and throw partys every so often. (fuck i had a decent idea but i forgot, heh) yea i've never dated anyone without help from other ppl. i know what you mean about not catching signals from girls. i've had girls tell me later on that they hit on me all the time, but i never caught on to it.
Amnesty International letter writing groups. And pretty much any volunteer thing that involves small fuzzy animals. Can you switch volunteer activities to something more likely to have females in your age group?
Yeah. OP, I'm pretty sure you know this since it's staring you in the face, but you severely lack social skills. Sorry about being so blunt but I say things how it is. If you're content riding through life like you are now except with a girl by your side then that's cool, because you're happy. If not, feel free to drop me a PM, I'm sure I could give you some advice. Some quick tips for meeting women or people in general: Find a few new hobbies, learn a few new things. Join a class, such as Yoga or Dance, those are great places abundant with new women. Try find places with like-minded people that have similar interests as yourself. That way, you already have something in common in which to spark a conversation with someone else. If you can count the number of interests you have with your fingers like most people can, you would probably benefit alot from simply expanding your interests. Perhaps spend some time with acquaintances, and get to know their friends. If it's at all possible, rather find a job where you at least have a few people you can interact with. Change is good, I'm sure you don't want to walk through your whole life with your head down and eyes to the floor. Don't be that old man punching himself in the face because he realizes he could've done so much more with his life. Just so you know I absolutely disagree that meeting random strangers is awkward or ineffective. It only comes off as creepy or weird when you do it wrong. Meeting new types of people that one usually wouldn't meet through their social circle is like, the spice of life. People, are what keep this world from being so dull.
Yummybud quite a few of your posts mention picking up cashiers and I really have to advise against this. I know it's one of the few places you're guaranteed to be in a conversation with a possibly attractive stranger who you already know where to find... but it's really awkward. It also would not be taking steps to better the situation you're currently in. Don't rely upon cashiers. They have to be smiley and friendly and make eye contact with everyone; it means nothing coming from them. You don't have any friends and you volunteer/work jobs where you don't meet people your own age and you've engineered this for whatever reason, but now you want out so do it. If you can arrange your life in an anti-social way then you can re-arrange it in a social way. Don't seek out girls, instead try to find experiences and groups that you would enjoy regardless of whether or not you will meet females there, but you will. Basically any activity will help you more than doing nothing. You also need a social group and real, male friends so you're not so dependant on the girl like you were with the 17 year old because obviously what should have been a fairly routine breakup for a 24 year old fucked with your head so much more than necessary because she was your entire social life. Like I said, you've ended up with no casual socializing in your life because you've probably made a lot small decisions that led you here. And that's actually a good thing because you can make a lot of small decisions to get out. Go to places you want your future friends to hang out. Go to the coolest coffee shop in your area and see if there are any flyers or posters around for clubs, groups or activities that interest you. If there aren't any then open your mind and sign up anyway or go elsewhere. Make it a goal for yourself to get involved with at least 5 things where other young people will be before the end of May. And anytime anyone invites you anywhere, even if you can't see it being a fruitful experience for meeting women, go. Get over this STD shit. If anything, it should make you more confident to know your lack of experience with girls was never apparent to the 17 year old... and she was 17. She had a lack of experience with guys before you if I recall correctly from your other posts. And the reason you're going to be a 25 year old virgin has nothing to do with not having condoms one night so stop beating yourself up over that; it's another thing that resulted from many small decisions. Always having a condom will be a small decision to make to make sex more likely in the future. You need to stop making excuses in general. You said you didn't make any friends in university because it was a commuter university but that doesn't stop most people. Also why did you choose to go to a commuter university knowing there would be less of a community atmosphere? (unless it was financial.) Unless you take responsibility for making the decisions that lead to not having friends you won't know what you've done wrong and won't know what to do right and you could possibily end up repeating the pattern in law school. There is definitely hope for you because you really want to change and you recognize that it's you who has to. I'm really curious how good looking you are (any interest in posting or pming a pic?) because that could really change things. An attractive guy, even with social skills this poor, might just seem enigmatic especially if you're decent on the guitar, which also reminds me if you could perform at a coffee house or something that would be really great. If you could find a regular open mike night then you should make it a goal to attend every week. One more thing, start viewing yourself as a catch. You're a possibly attractive, STD-free, guitar playing (soon performing!), eventual law student/eventual lawyer, who I know will be so fucking dedicated to what ever girl he finds and I wouldn't worry about ever being unfaithful and you volunteer with the elderly. You're the type of guy a lot of girls are looking for but can't find (probably because you don't even notice when they're interested.) Another one more thing... consider working some of this out with a counsellor maybe.
you sound like you have got your shit together. the only place that i find it acceptable for a guy to hit on me that i dont know is in bookstores. i dunno why. they are so much less stressful of a place to be. find a chain type one or even locally owned and operated, find a book that either A)you like or B) you thought looked interesting and just chill. Walk around, sit and read, get a drink at the coffee shop most seem to have. Scope em out. I promise you, you will be scoped as well.
My suggestion? Quit making threads on internet forums and go out in the real world and just try to meet people. Go to bars, join some clubs, take some classes, etc... Don't sit on the internet feeling sorry for yourself every day. I'm sorry man, but I see you on here every day being all "woe is me" and ignoring everyone's sound advice. Get out there and do something!
some good suggestions here. i actually been wanting a new book so i might try that the next time i get a ride out of here, hehe.
pic of me? ok i'll post some recent ones. I don't think i'm good looking at all, I look nerdy I think but whatever lol. i'm also really skinny so i'm going to try and workout soon. my ex girlfriend thought I was good looking (unless she lied lol) and i've had some girls tell me they thought I was good looking, but I don't think so. I don't think i'm fugly though.
You're somewhere between normal and cute but some girls will subjectively think you're totally hot (I just prefer my guys scruffier.) I'd still be down to flirt with you in a bookstore. As long as you don't refer to yourself as awkward or antisocial or anything like that no one would probably even notice during a first impression.
as for asking random girls out I agree it will probably come off as creepy. but I asked cus my ex girlfriend apparently hung out with a customer that asked her out......... he gave her his number and she called him (what I heard). I think its only creepy if the girl doens't like you or you sound creepy or ask in a creepy way. I might try joining something... not sure what though. my hobbies are like working on cars lol.
libraries. but for real that IS where i met one of my exes. pretty sure that doesnt happen too often though
I want to start working out soon because I hate how i'm so skinny..... but i keep on putting it off. libraries?? I go to the library all the time lol and I have never had a conversaton with someone there its kinda hard to go up to someone and talk when they are busy studying or reading lol. I had one girl once start a conversation with me in a library (university library) she asked me what I was studying and we talked a bit. back then i was even dumber than I am now with girls so I was too stupid to say hey lets exchange numbers and go for cofee or whatever sometime. instead after we had a conversation I picked up my stuff and I was like c ya! lol.