Ok guys my dad is what you would call a dick head. He's in his early 40's and a chief at the sheriffs office. Ever since I was little he's talked shit to me and called me names when I've done nothing wrong what so ever. He's also punched me in the face when I was 16 and he likes to start arguments with me and I guess try to make me fight him by getting so up in my face why he's yelling that I can feel the heat and spit hit me in the face and he'll push me around. He's never acted this way towards my younger brother who's only two years younger than me. He prevented me from having a childhood whatsoever outside of school. When I was 8 he had me carrying plywood up a ladder over my head just so he wouldn't have to. He also made me help him shingle the roof during 100 degree weather which caused me to pass out and have to be rushed to the hospital. One of the memories that sticks with me the most is when I made a c on a spelling test in kindergarden and he blatantly called me retarded and stupid when I was that young and made me set in my room with no lights or supper for the night. Even when I was doing really good in school he always found a way to criticize me. I had an accident a couple years back where I got staph infection in my hip joint and was in unbearable pain and he would lock the door behind him when he would go outside just for a minute so I would have to walk to the door and unlock it because he thought I was lying about the pain. when he did find out that I had staph infection in my hip joint he never considered to apologize to me. When I got the staph infection I was around 180 pounds and in great shape but I couldn't walk for 3 months or exercise so I gained 30 pounds, after gaining 30 pounds and getting a little belly it was almost like he made it his mission to embarrass me in front of him and his deputes and even get them picking on me. Honestly it's gotten so bad that I just really hate to even think that hes coming home in the afternoons. My moms tried everything to get him to change. At one point she told him if he loved his son he need to stop what he was doing and do more things with me. Needless to say he's done neither. Nowadays I try to work as much as possible so I can save up so I can move out so I don't have to be around him but whenever im at the house all he does is try to start shit and im getting to the point where im fucking done with the bullshit. A recent example of his bullshit is tonight. During the debate I was watching some breaking bad on the computer with headphones so I wouldn't bother him. He looks at me and what does he decide to do, turn the goddamn surround sound on so loud that even on full blast I can't hear a word threw my headphones. I asked him if he could turn it down some he said I could go somewhere else if I wanted to watch my stupid show. So blades I need some damn advice im almost at my breaking point I've tolerated his shit for years and because of it I now have generalized anxiety and have panic attacks all the damn time. Im 19 now and trying my hardest to move out but it just doesn't seem like it's gonna happen any time soon. Is there any advice you guys can give me to help me threw this shit. And no he's not your average dad pretty much everyone in town hates him for the way he acts and thats caused me to have many friends never even wanna come over in the rare case he allows it. Also im not the type of guy to be telling people stuff like this or talking about feelings and shit so im not looking for any sympathy or anything. I know it's gonna help me in the long run as a person because I know exactly how treating people and your son this way affects them. Sorry for how long the post is.
tell him straight up how it makes you feel and how angry it makes you, if this doesnt work then do what i do to everyday assholes im forced to associate with and be a bigger asshole to them than they are on you. Make him feel like shit for a while then confront him again and ask how it felt for a change. Hope this helps and good luck man
[quote name='"TheMightyKush"']tell him straight up how it makes you feel and how angry it makes you, if this doesnt work then do what i do to everyday assholes im forced to associate with and be a bigger asshole to them than they are on you. Make him feel like shit for a while then confront him again and ask how it felt for a change. Hope this helps and good luck man[/quote] I've tried to tell him before because my grandma made me and him set down and talk but he put on a fuckin act in front of her and got mad I told her about how he acts. Honestly I don't think he can change. He's one of those strong minded individuals that thinks everything that comes out of his mouth is right so everyone should listen to him.
Wow, his choice of profession doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Your best bet is to move out and cut contact with only him. Hopefully this'll let him know he's a POS, but if he didn't already realize this there's not much hope. I'd also document every BS thing he does. I wouldn't put it past a person like this to get some of his cop buddies to rough you up if you did something he doesn't like. I lol'd 3 words there, buddy
He sounds like an absolute cunt. It's been 19 years, no more fucking chances for that guy to try be your dad, tell him straight up you hate him (if you do) and he makes your life unbearable. As above poster said, cut all ties with him by moving out, but tell him as well. Tell him when you're out of that house, you're out of his life, and go through with it. If he doesn't do anything good in response to that, then severing the ties is the best thing you can do. My two cents.
[quote name='"thewarden"']Wow, his choice of profession doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Your best bet is to move out and cut contact with only him. Hopefully this'll let him know he's a POS, but if he didn't already realize this there's not much hope. I'd also document every BS thing he does. I wouldn't put it past a person like this to get some of his cop buddies to rough you up if you did something he doesn't like. I lol'd 3 words there, buddy[/quote] Yeah I've noticed that pretty much every cop I've met is almost just like him. They all love the power, they can do whatever they want and get away with it no problem. Now im not saying there all like that cause I know some that are the nicest people you could ever meet but most yeah. I've already been planning on never talking to him once I move out. I've also been wondering about the last thinh you said about his cop buddies because whenever I tell someone about how he acts towards me magically the next time im working one walks in off duty and trys to give me a hard time.
Yeah you basically described my relationship with my father.. Who also happens to be a military veteran and retired police officer who suffers from PTSD.. He would always(and for the most part still does) do anything in his power to start a fight between himself and I.. For example 2 or 3 nights ago I was sitting on the couch playing a game on my laptop which requires my full and undivided attention(pvp game, i was also at their house) and my dad enters the room and sits across from me and intentionally starts an argument with me about how he wants to sit in the exact spot I was in.. At first I figured he was joking around or whatever so I blatantly said "well sorry, I just didnt see a sign with your name on it in this spot".. I meant nothing wrong or harmful, but no, super-cop asshole father of mine finds it offensive and starts unloading his anger on me by telling me to get the fuck out of the spot or he would flip the couch on me.. and he kept repeating these pathetic threats and chewing me out for sitting in that spot on the couch.. (keep in mind he was staring furiously at me the entire time with a pitch red face) I said "You're making me feel really uncomfortable right now" and he responded with "well then take your shit and get the fuck out of my house" I eventually got frustrated enough that I yelled at my mother to come and dilute the situation and then he immediately shut up.. I then grabbed my shit and proceeded to leave.. The next day when I dropped by to watch my niece, he was seemingly trying to act nice and even went to the lengths of buying me a big bag of doritos..(wtf right?) Things are cool right now but he does lose his shit every now and then.. I mostly figure it all relates to serving in combat in the military and being a cop for 20 some years.. Dealing with shit heads all the time can really change who you are and what you do and say.. Anyways sorry for the long read, but all in all I really suggest you remain calm and keep your cool.. Do not stoop to his level, and do not burn any bridges.. Good luck blade and cheers
I'd look deep into his eyes and say this to him if I were you "dad you make me want to kill myself. maybe one day I'll go through with it." If that doesn't make him shape the fuck up, I don't know what will. You gotta use dat dere scare tactic.
Sounds a lot like my dad! Mine's a car salesman, though... not much different I suppose. Complete narcissist, arguably a sociopath. Fucking dickhole lost visitation rights with the younger siblings 5 years ago. Unfortunately, my parents didn't get divorced until my freshman year of college. To this day, I hate the fucking dick, but I think about it a lot less. I haven't spoken to him in 5 years, and neither has the rest of my family. As for being a shitty shit, my dad used to hit me in the face with baseballs @ full speed, make me run until I threw up, ground me for using big words... Apparently, "apparently" is a "big word." And that shit will not be tolerated! Grounded for wanting to read instead of go outside. Grounded for asking if I could spend my own money on a paintball gun. He made me work for him for $4/hr when I was 12. I saved up $600, and he took it.. When asked why, he said "kids don't need that much money." He slammed my at the time 12yr old brother's face into a car. He went to church and pretended to be Christian to sell more cars. Abused my mom, and whole family for that matter. ALWAYS put on an act around grandparents and stuff. Drank over a 750 of whiskey after work EVERY night. Disowned me AND my older sister while we were in college. He just decided to take our cars and not pay tuition for either of us. I smoked out my car hardcore, locked it, keyed it, and threw the keys on the roof. Told CPS that I do drugs in front of my siblings (NOT TRUE), and they piss tested me. I failed for marijuana, and had to sign a piece of paper saying I wouldn't be alone with them until they turn 18. I was never allowed to do anything I wanted to do when he was around. LITERALLY speaking. It was some sort of fucked up dominance mind game thing that I do not understand to this day. He tried to fight me at the driving range one time, and threw a golf club at me for missing a 6ft putt when I was 14. Used to poke me in the chest really hard with his index finger, supported by his thumb, and yell and grit his teeth and shit. In 4th grade I had a speedometer on my bike. While racing my neighbor down my street, his peg got stuck in my spokes while going 26mph. Needless to say, I crashed. Slid about 12 feet across my driveway on a knee and an elbow. Got in trouble for crying while bleeding profusely. He tried to spank my brother for crying when he was a toddler and busted his head open on a chair. He would steal my mom and sisters' jewelry and put it in a drawer. Yea, my mom found it. He stole her rolex too, but it was never recovered... $10k watch His cousin used to do the same thing, and take paintings off of the wall at his house, then try to convince his wife she was crazy and the painting was never there! This went on for a few months, but my aunt started telling her friend everything that happened every day, and they caught him lying. My dad also screwed my mom in their divorce, and tried to put her 200k in debt somehow, when he wasn't even in debt. So yea, I can certainly empathize. I hate to break it to you, but I'm still fucked in the head a bit. After all of the teasing about liking girls, I'm still too shy to bring them around family (and the rest of my family is cool!). Stuff like that. I will say that despite some very major bumps in the road since all of that, I am getting better. You will too, man. It's a long road ahead, but this shit will pass!
If you have a car you have a home. Get what you need to survive and get the fuck out. You can work while living in your car. And most 24 walmarts will let you park over night. Also there are rest areas. If you truly cant handle it then leave.
Speaking from experience, this isn't a card you want to pull on someone who LIES for a career.. He will either a)call the bluff or b) kick his ass on the curb or c) send him to a mental institution.. Cops are mean bastards.. especially older ones.. Op do not do what this guy suggested.. for god's sake..
Sounds like my relationship with both of my parents, I'm a bastard child and my parents just hated me for what I believe was that reason. I had a younger non bastard brother who they spoiled the fucking shit out of it was terrible. After I met my girlfriend things just started getting worse, I ended up moving across the country to live with my grandmother but being a teenager in love I ended up going back, but with the goal to save all my cash and get myself my own place. Coming back made it even worse, they sold all my belongings mostly instruments and video games. They didn't give me a room and I wasn't aloud to sleep on the couches I had to sleep on the floor, I even had to ask my girlfriend for an extra blanket cause my rents wouldnt give me one, after a while I ended up staying over at my girlfriends house but I had to go to my parents house at 6am to clean the place up or else they'd kick me out. A month or so later I was able to find a roommate and get the FUCK out if there. But my roommate ended up screwing me over and my parents had moved out of state. My girlfriends parents let me move in with them which is great and next week we're moving into our new house and soon getting married. Oh and the brother who was spoiled like a mother fuck? Currently in jail, Idk what for or how long. I rarely speak to my parents. I talk to my grandmother all the time though. My advice would be try and find family that'll take you in, or work hard to get out of there. I've been in this type of situation before, for just as long (im 22) Falling in love is the best thing that's happened to me, maybe try and find a girl along the way?
Man, if i can't quit smoking weed for pussy what possible chance does your dad stand? Get the fuck out, cause' i dont plan to quit for a long fuckin time.
Ignore him and don't give him the pleasure of bothering you. Just keep working to leave and when you do leave don't talk to him unless you have to. You can talk to your mom but just ignore his ass it will either drive him nuts or he'll leave you alone. Similar thing happened to me and i had to move out and into my GF's house at 17. Things just got too bad at home. Now 3 years later my life is 100x better for a very long list of reasons. Leaving my parents house is honestly the best thing i have ever done for myself.