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Physical and a UA at the same time, How the hell??

Discussion in 'Apprentice Marijuana Consumption' started by dankyshit08, Mar 4, 2016.

  1. Alrite now i understand drug testing is an annoying subject here at gc but this is diffrent heres why. I have a physical coming up with a drugtest they are both DOT. How should i go about sneaking my quick fix in and doing the hernia check?
    My plan was crotching it like i always have done but if they ask me to drop my pants im s.o.l so i need suggestions time is on my side a bit to get creative if needed.
  2. So, they march you naked from the testicle check to a piss test? Something isn't adding up....since when do they check for hernias before a job interview? Football, yes. Military enlistment, yes. Regular 9 to 5 I don't feel it. You positive that's how it is going to go down?

    If you are going to be walking around then you will have shoes on. You might make a little pocket in your shoe to hide your clandestine package. Like in the sole or something? Go to the dollar store and see what they have for small plastic containers. Maybe one or two small plastic shampoo containers in one or both shoes could do it. What ever you do, don't forget,to have enough hand warmers to keep all containers and their payload at temperature. 91*F to 99*F) Just remember, there is a reason for that cyanide tooth we hammered into you upper jaw. If you get caught murder them all and en pop the tooth. Your computer will self destruct after you read this message. My apologies to everyone who read this message. :metal:
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  3. A lot of jobs do this. Quite often it's a job that is going to be potentially putting your health at risk in one way or another so they do the physical so they can have a snapshot of what your health was like when you started there. I'm not going to make you a resume of my jobs, but I've had several that required this. And yeah, OP, you're kinda hosed. Because you will be in your dainties or a hospital robe the entire time and there will most definitely not be any way to hide fake anything during this process, don't even fucking try because you will get discovered and it's going to be awkward and embarrassing and you'll likely get a letter in the mail 3 days later saying thanks but no thanks, eh? Better to find a way to flush it out of your system. And what's more, they may not even care about marijuana usage. UA's show a variety of things, the least of which is drug usage. If you're doing both the physical and UA, I'd bet they are more interested in what antibodies are in the UA than what drugs are.
  4. We'll sneak I can say this, I don't work anymore so I am definately out of touch. I was thinking it was more along the lines of friends hyping something up into something it never was. Like the rumor of a square needle in the nut in boot camp lol!.

    I can definately see where having a full on physical would be advantageous to a company but it has got to be expensive. Even when I did work on the Air Force base out here in Vegas I didn't have any such thing and it was top secret clearance. Had to have radios on in our work area so we couldn't hear what was going on around us and an armed guard out side of the room we were working in. Plus, you had to have an armed escort to and from the bathroom. Even then we didn't have any crazy thing like that type of physical. I did have a shit ton of piss tests though when I worked as a low voltage electrician. As many as 10 in a year some years. I was able to use synthetic kits with success every single time.

    Man, things are certainly changing huh? It is going to be hard to pass a piss test in the near future. Well aside from abstinence and getting clean naturally. Trying to get a masking agent or dilution type of product to work is so hard to get right. I used those drinks and teas at times when I was definately clean or very close and didn't want to chance it. just think though, at some point in our life time they will stop testing for ganja in most cases when applying for employment or as a condition of keeping that employment. Still crazy though how they give you a full on physical like that. Definately smart on the part of that employer.

    Regardless, good luck OP. I think your best bet is to research which of those masking, diluting, detoxing type of products have the best customer reviews. Then research as to how they work. Then try a product that seems to jive with you, your body type, the last time you smoked and how often you smoked. Follow the directions to a T! That is how most fuck it all away, by not following directions.

    If anything you might try dilution just to get a delay in the drug screen. The concept of the idea is this. The company is doing this whole physical and UA for the reason of making it nigh impossible to cheat. So by drinking enough water it comes back as diluted. They can't say you cheated so they will retest you. What I always did was to tell the tech that I couldn't pee right then, could i please get some water. Then you could say something along the lines of "I couldn't go so the person go the test said to drink water until I went. So I did". This got me a retest the two times I had to use it. (Both times being because the synthetic urine sample was under the temperature and therefore a cold sample. Automatic fail on the spot). at that point it is possible to get a retest. It gives you an extra week or two to get clean.

    Let us know how it all worked out though. You could be helping others pass their next test. Tell us how it al went down, the whole nine yards, I'm kind of nterested in it lol now lol! Good luck broski!
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  5. Thanks for the replies guys!
    It's very shitty I agree why make it so hard specially when you know most the fuckers are smoking it . You know I've tried a detox drink once called 710 it was supposed to be the "best" masking agent and followed it to a t I quit smoking for the two days I had notice failed it. The good thing about this is I'm getting all the info in a packet about where I gotta go and all that it's up to me to schedule it.

    I'm considering macgeyvering something up like sewing a pocket in my under wear so if I have to drop trous rite infront of the doc it'll be concealed if all goes smooth.

    You know I like the idea of diluting this allows another test date. That means no physical the second go at it. But how can you gurantee a dilution just chug water that day or leading up to it and day of ??
  6. The military doesn't care. You've signed papers at that point admitting that your life is no longer your own, it belongs to Uncle Sam. They don't have the fear of reprisals. Now, if you'd been a federal agent for a civilian dept in a different part of Nevada with a higher clearance, you would have been inspected inside and out before you even had heard the term 'radiation'. That's all I'm going to say there ;)

    Only do that if you want to be more embarrassed than you've ever been, because you will be caught and called on right then and there. If you are doing all of this for work, the people inspecting you are going to be doing this all day long. You may only go through this process once, but they all do it once before they have their first cup of coffee. They are going to know all the tricks, they are going to be used to seeing people in underwear, and they're going to be able to tell if something is hinkey. And if they get that feeling, since they're swearing that your UA was legit, you know they are going to follow up with things. Also, you may not even get to keep your underwear on. You usually go naked when wearing a hospital gown.
  7. Any suggestions ????
  8. Clean your system. Its the only way
  9. The time frame isn't realistic for that. Subbing or dilution is the only way here neither are guaranteed but one of them is going to have to work
  10. Then you roll the dice and takes your chances. Good luck!
  11. If you are absolutely sure you won't pass then you might try dilution. Add creatin and a good multi vitamin the day of the test to give it color and some of the stuff they check for in urine to be sure it's urine. You will still fail the test I am sure because if they are going ape sit crazy like mr conspiracy know it all sneaky snake says then you are just fucked. Good thing I don't listen to pessimists.

    So, if you are sure you won't pass then try dilution to get another chance. Like I said though it will come back as a fail. Just be sure to tel the tech you can't go and see if they offer water. When they do, drink a bunch of it. Then why they call and say it was to diluted say the tech at the testing facility told you to drink until you go.

    That brings up another question now that I think of it, what if you can't go right when they tell you too? They just leave you naked and standing there? No, I don't think so. I bet you'll be in clothes when you give your sample if you say you can't go when you are standing around in your underwear. So be sure to bring subbed urine, kept at temperature with hand warmer packs. Then if you get to use it right on life is good.

    Then as a back up plan go with diluting your system. that way you are ready either way. You could piss regular and get flagged for dilution and hopefully get another shot a couple weeks later. I don't honk if you keep your eyes open, be real clever and you just might get away with it.

    If you are subbing urine, be sure to over heat it to like 105*F to 110*F. That way if you have to wait up to a couple of hours, your sample il stay warm. If it is too hot still (90*F to 100*F is temp range for testing), pour into the sample cup they provide and leave the cap off so it cools to the required temp range. Pop on the cap and turn it in.

    Regardless man, it's a pickle to be sure. Post back with what you actually did and what the end relit was. You could be helpin others by doing so. Good luck blade!
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  12. #12 dankyshit08, Mar 5, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2016
    Yeah lol i know I'm not completely out of luck and I understand if I were "clean" I'd pass but If there's wil there's a way is what I like to say.
    Now that's probably what I'm gonna do is pocket the sub with a hand warmer . Drink a shit ton of water to dilute if I dilute then I'll retest and physical will be done at that point no doctor checking my junk out.

    Physicals are all different. Last time for a hernia check it was a lady and she just pushed down on my groin area with my clothes on. On the other hand though the other 3 I've done were drop trous then put back on infront of doc. Never been just left naked haha but I've never had a drug test at the same time always separate. This is my first DOT physical to so if anyone has ever done this ? Any different than a standard physical?

    I will definitely let you know what I did and if it worked keep the ideas flowing it won't hurt. I'm still waiting on my packet for all the info then gotta schedule the two
  13. Okay just scheduled it. It's at concentra wedsnday now I'm gonna wear a pair of sweat pants mildly baggy but black. Then I'll wear cargo shorts under these with the subsitute in the pockets of the cargos. Now in a perfect world it'll stay there until I crotch it for the ua so I don't have to lie and tell her I emptied my pockets. But if I by chance I do it first then I just gotta empty my sweat pants pockets and act like that's all I have.
    Pretty positive they can't pat you down. If the doc says anything about my two pants that will be easy to explain.

    How's that sound ?

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