phychotic in a good way add/adhd

Through out my child hood, teen years, and my adult hood iv always had add or adhd sometimes, + im allways very tired chronic fatigue as the docs call it, iv tried many illegal drugs everything from weed, to coke, extacy, shrooms, and other shit like ritalin for recreational drugs, I very much remember abusing ritalin it was an awesome feeling, it made me want to kill people with no remourse what so ever, but it made me feel light as rain after taking 4 and smoking some dope, and it made me crazy smart, literally my IQ must have jumped through the roof, coming up with theorys to everyday unknown solutions like why two balls of equal shape and size btu diff weight hit the floor at the same time ... anyways thats another s tory my point is, is that just recently iv realized I def have add or adhd sometimes and I should get sumthing for it to help me focus, so I went to the doctor to get dopped up, I wanted him to give me sum ritalin but im kinda glade he didnt cause I would have abused it without a doubt, im now on strattera a drug thats much harder to abuse and I can say thatI am happily phychotic, I can compare the drug to taking cocain it makes you feel a bit liek a zombie, but in a good way, I def have feelings of suicide but again the end ressult is that strattera is very benifiting, it doesnt work liek a tractor beem liek ritalin did, that shit made me smart over night, but this shit is allmost just as good, I can feel my self functioning as others do, but also in a dark light which I kinda afind fun and interesting, its like being phychotic is better because you see things in a diff light. I notice things much like you would if you were on coke, the shit even smells the same as coke once digested, that pilly smell once uv snorted sum coke, anyways, for anybody wanting to treat their kid who has add or adhd ritalin may work better off the bat but ull def have to take more to get better results most ppl start on 10 mg and end up taking around 50 mg and the shit works less and less over time at least it did for me when I was abusing the shit out of it, but this shit is better because it makes you smarter without wanting to abuse the drug or the need to take much more, ritalin as soon as it wears off you have a HUGE come down way worse then coke, strattera not the case for these reasons I like strattera, and I think ill stay on it