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Petition for Kellog's (LOL)

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by crasstastic, Feb 8, 2009.

  1. from

    [SIZE=+1px]To: Kellogg's Corporation[/SIZE] Whereas...

    1) Kellogg's is a major manufacturer of cereal and junk food products including but not limited to Frosted Flakes, Pop Tarts, Cheez-Its, Froot Loops, Keebler's Cookies, Rice Krispies, Eggo Frozen Waffles, Famous Amos Cookies and many other products known to be a part of the diet of many marijuana using Americans

    2) The Kellogg's has profited for decades on the food tastes of marijuana using Americans with the munchies. In fact, we believe that most people over the age of twelve would not eat Kellogg's products were they not wicked high.

    3)That Kellogg's has decided to end their relationship with Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps after pictures of him surfaced doing exactly what most Kellogg's customers do right before enjoying a bowl of Rice Krispies mixed with Keebler Cookies with an Eggo on top.

    4) That this action by Kellogg's, while legal, is totally bogus.

    5) That Kellogg's is a big fat hypocrite, just like our parents when they found our stash under our mattress and took it and then later they sat in the living room and listened the Dark Side Of The Moon over and over and danced and laughed and I swear we smelled something.
    John Harvey.

    6) That a quick Wikipedia search shows the founder of Kellogg's - john Harvey Kellogg - was a total frickin' weirdo who believe in putting children's genitals in a cage to keep them from playing with themselves and also believed in yogurt enemas.

    7) That seriously, just Google John Harvey Kellogg. Dude was freaky.

    8) That the thing about yogurt enemas makes us want to hurl when we look at that box of Kellogg's Yogos we have in the pantry.

    9) That Michael Phelps should totally drop YOU dudes for your obsession with bran and fiber and masturbation and butts and stuff. You drop HIM? Dude won eight gold medals and probably didn't stick a single one in his butt or tie it in tourniquet around his naughty bits. Dude was just trying to relax. Seriously Kellogg's, WTF?

    Given all these facts and the total disregard for your customer base and that thing with the yogurt, we the undersigned plan to BOYCOTT your products.

    And we're serious.

    Even though the Pop Tarts thing will be HARD.
    The Undersigned
  2. Signed....although I'm probably going to eat Pop Tarts the next time I blaze. Hahaha.
  3. I say change some of the words like "Wicked" and you've got yourself a very moving e-mail my friend.
  4. That whole thing is bullshit. Phelps should keep the sponsorship.

    Funny petition, I'd say send it out.
  5. signed number 3134
  6. if only kellogs knew what they had started..
  7. Yeah, all these people signing E-patitions (where it is possible to sign multiple times by the same person) and don't forget all those people that said they won't eat pop-tarts (but will anyway).

    I do agree with it - but i don't think anyone will honour the boycott.

  8. proud to be number 3280
  9. signature #3305 here, i do plan to honour the boycott, no name cereals are just as good, and pop tarts are just fruity tasting chemicals, i'd rather eat something with nutritional value
  10. im signature 3000 somthing... wasnt paying attention haha. but yea its bullshit. Phelps + bong = iron lungs. and fastest fuck alive.
  11. #12 poodog313, Feb 9, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 9, 2009
    there was a movie about #6 called "road to wellsville"
  12. hahah that is great!

    i signed it,
    but now that i think about it- i have quite a few kellogs products in my kitchen that are awesome
    cinammon pecan special K,
    club crackers,
    pop tarts,

    omg and now that im looking at the website, all the morningstar vegetarian foods....

    this is going to be impossible :( :cry:

    fuck it,

    sorry phelps :eek:
  13. corn flakes ith strawberrrys in them are the best

  14. am i the only one thats seen this??
  15. I'm not giving up Kellog's I mean if your going to be an Olympian in the public eye...don't be a dumbass and get your picture taken smoking weed. It's his fault :rolleyes:

  16. I've seen it. Disturbing.

    3000 something.

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