Perfectly Locked Inside the Univere: A Short Story of Psycho-Delirium

Discussion in 'The Artist's Corner' started by MorningTrip, Jun 16, 2006.

  1. So lately I have taken it upon myself to write stories when I'm high, I've just finished the first chapter of the story, which I hope will soon to be many more chapters and I'd like to get it self publish along with much of my poetry.:cool:

    As of sunday, june 18, 2005 1:06am

  2. i read it :)

    ima comment, ok?

    you used bunches and bunches of adjectives =/

    you had some really nice sentences :)

    kind of felt like it skipped around. iunno, didn't flow right =/ but what do i know? it added to the headtrip at times, tho.

    cool story. crazy headtrip, it would be neat if you wrote more stuff like that. :)
  3. yeah dude, you're trying so hard to describe something and I have no idea what it is.
  4. You're absolutely right! Everything is supposed to be confusing, it's only the first chapter.:rolleyes:
  5. it seems to be confusing just for the sake of being confusing..../time elapse/... But I reread it after several bong tokes :smoking: It always helps me gather a visual landscape from the words and I do like your writing. It made me think it was depicting a nuclear blast or a more literal nearby supernova and the death of the narrator and his journey on another plane. Or the transitioning through the bardos but from a more common death. Then again it could be the start of an extremely profound trip.

    i guess just make sure all your descriptions and metaphors are relavent and used just when needed as the subject matter itself is going to be abstract.
    keep it coming. :)

  6. Well, it's all intricately designed in this plan I have in my head for the entire concept of the story. Although, I shall expand on Ch.1 a bit more as to not discourage the sober reader.
  7. very cool
  8. Just read the whole thing. I personally love the whole surreal, mad-rant style that was formulated during this story's conception. So far, the words and phrases remind me of the Mars Volta, and thats a bonus because their lyrics are insanely good. I going to try to read this stoned tomorow!

    Keep up the awsome work!

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