I'm now a senior in university and I've come to the realization that people fucking suck. This is not a new idea to me, but rather an ongoing theme I've noticed in life that is prevalent now more so than any other time. I've met, give or take, 3 or so genuine people in my life who don't judge and just don't give a fuck about living a front of a life to make others perceive them as socially valuable. I have 3 roommates, 1 one of which falls into the class of the rare "genuine person" breed. He currently is going through some rough times and has taken a few semesters off. Trouble is, my other fucking roommates must pick at this "different" behavior and speculate and label him as a weirdo. I can't stand it anymore and refuse to be in the same room as those roommates. Why are people so cruel and must pick at others different behaviors and put them down. This social hierarchy is prevalent in all aspects of life and disgusts me. I've been on a t-break for a couple of weeks, so this reality has come to smack me in the face. Honestly, why can't people just live a judgement free life? Fuck people.
You seem to be a bit judgemental yourself. I used to think that way about people. Used to think everyone was just a bad person, only looking out for themselves. It basically gave me a negative perspective towards everyone. I felt like I was the only one being a good person. But one day I realized that in reality, I was really no different. By envisioning everyone as being egotistical and greedy, I was being egotistical and greedy myself. I didn't look at a fellow man as equal, but saw them as stupid. This is no way to live--you're just going to be stuck within the angry/depressed mindset of "everyone else sucks." So I stopped judging people. I now look at all people as if they are inherently good. That doesn't mean they necessarily are always good, but I've removed the negative view that all people are evil. Yes, I even believe the people who have done the worst crimes imaginable were at one point good. That's not to say I think crimes do not deserve punishment. Instead, it's just my way of preventing myself to harvest hatred towards people. I may hate their actions, but I will not hate the person. No baby is born evil. Woah. That totally turned into some stoner rambling.
Meh, I just avoid them not that I'm scared but I don't care to befriend people my age. Gotta find some introverts.
First of all, I appreciate your response and have definitely at times adopted a similar perspective. However, this non-judgmental positive perspective that I believe you to be articulating seemed to be more of a coping mechanism to deal with the common behaviors of mankind. Simply stated, its easier to live life trying to pick out the positive behaviors in people than dwell on the negative ones. I guess to get to the heart and soul of my post, I'm really questioning why it is that people must put others down in order to promote themselves. I'm questioning and speculating where in the biological evolution of humans made it so that instead of physically fighting other humans for meat and mates (caveman shit), we now turn to snipping at social dynamics of others with regards to where they fall on the "normal" spectrum. . In your post you assume that I am judgmental and view others as as "bad people." This is not always the case. The only people I judge are the ones who feel the need to put others down in order to better self promote themselves. Unfortunately in the school I go to, these type of people are quite common. I've been within the "popular crowd", and I just don't like the type of person it turns you into. It's as if the only way to fit in is to "self promote" in the way that I previously described. Once again, thank you for the reply. I'm curious what your thoughts are on this.
No no, I just liked the irony of you judging other people for being judgmental. The rest of my post was just a personal experience that I thought might be relevant. It's definitely not coping. As I said, it doesn't mean I think crimes should go unpunished. If somebody kills my family, I'm certainly not going to invite him over for dinner and become best friends with him. But I hope that I also would not hold a life-long grudge against him. Harboring negative energy in such a way is bad for your health. And I guess that might seem like I'm just being detached... but, I really don't believe that's the case. I think the difference is: if I didn't have this believe of all people being inherently good, I'd like hold grudges against all that harm me. As I said, that would leave me burdened with negative energy and emotions, because I'd be constantly reminding myself of the "bad" stuff. On the contrary, believing that nobody is born evil allows me to essentially forgive the person, but not necessarily forgiving their actions. This way, I can come to peace and not hold on to unhealthy hatred. I dunno, I'm pretty stoned so I'm not sure if anyone of this is coherent. Plus I'm not too good at describing my mindset... or something. But if you're interested, I'd say that these two books--along with many great people in my life--have helped me form my current perspective on life. The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living and A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. Might sound like kinda lame books, but they're both pretty good and interesting. I bought the audio version of A New Earth, and it's enjoyable to listen to, especially if you spend a lot of time in the car.
Well, OP, look at it this way: These are people at University. They are your peers. That means they are likely in an age group defined as "adolescent." Further, that means you should expect them to be, for the most part, jerks. Immature jerks. My best advice is to not give up hope on the entire human race. Get out there and put yourself in new and diverse contexts. Visit a nursing home. Volunteer at some sort of soup kitchen/homeless shelter. Tutor/mentor a younger kid who might be struggling at home. Find people who have jobs that most people wouldn't consider big money makers but that do them because they love their work. You're likely to find a more decent pool of people in these situations than among your college-aged peers. Trust me, the average college student is trying to do the bare minimum to graduate and hopefully land work that will make them money. Money driven people are generally not the most inspiring to be around.
I feel the same way dude, so many prudes out there, you gotta be "cool". smh. this threads a good example of what I mean. http://forum.grasscity.com/pandoras-box/1097724-marijuana-man.html
You can't think of everyone as "horrible" or you'll get nowhere in life. Just know what they're capable of in the shit department. Don't ever turn your back on anyone or let things slide that you can avoid happening, they see this as weakness (one of many flaws of the system). You have to see the positives in people, although they may be brief you just have to accept that side of their personality and avoid the rest. If they are acting shitty don't deal with them. When they're on the sofa with you at 7am watching spongebob taking bong hits laughing out loud with you while eating fruit loops that's when ya wanna chill. I didn't read the first post but, senior at university and they make fun of your roommate who isn't a bad person but is going through tough times. People judge and it's natural nobody can ever stop it. It's our nature however twisted that may sound. Just have to ignore it and support people who deal with others not understanding.
Im very familiar with the type that defecate on others to make themselves or their favorite lackeys appear to be of higher value than they actually are. Then there's also the mentallity where if someone is bitching to you about another person its best just to be agreeable in order to avoid being the one that gets bitched at or about. I just know what I hate, and avoid being a hipocrit at all costs! This world needs more people that are willing to stand up for others, then at the very least people will be more inclined to keep their shitty opinions to themselves.
Alot of people have that dog eat dog mentality bro, it just comes from the cycle of life. Inevitably at one time or another they were either the victim of harsh ridicule, or saw someone else get ridiculed and so in order to avoid being in that position they became the person that insults others. I mean from a kid its instilled in us that there are social hierarchies in this world, the bullies and those that get bullied, the champions and the losers, the haves and the have nots, and the lesser position is always associated with pain and is taught to be avoided at all costs. After a while it begins to seem like those are the only two options, you are either the one dominating others, whether it be physically, mentally, or socially, or you are the one being dominated and so thats just how people become, they derive their self worth based on their perceived relation to others. Of course, there is a third path, where you just dont buy into the bullshit and just fall back and toke up. People are going to be people man, we all have the potential to be great, loving, compassionate friends, as well as the potential to be hateful, destructive, scornful enemies and where we fall along this line is just due to the many haphazard occurrences and situations which we have experienced in life. As people experience life, they develop and change, and they can move further down either side of that line, but neither mode of operation is intrinsic to their essence. My suggestion to you is, if you want to see more positivity in this world and between humans, do the only thing that you can do and focus on putting out good vibes. Dont judge people for being judgmental or else you are just perpetuating the negative energy which you hope to dissipate. Put out good energy, and maybe others around you will slowly start to loosen up, and not feel like its always judge or be judged. And if they dont reciprocate your good energy simply move on while bearing no ill will or negative thoughts about them, and eventually you will find your energy resonating with those of a similar mind