Sit back, relax, and grab your favorite alcoholic beverage or anything else that **clears throat** floats your boat. After I made woke up today at 700am, I went outside and I never would have known the adventure I was about to set forth on. I still can't believe it, and it's all true. Well, I was hungry so I thought I would go carousing about looking for a good taco stand for breakfast tacos. Well lo and behold I look out at the street and there are HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS MAYBE EVEN THOUSANDS!! of people running a marathon right outside my apartment. If my computer shuts down as I write this, may the Lord strike me down because of the anguish I would feel that I wasn't able to let all of you know of the wonderful morning I have had. So, I was like, fuckin A, I will just fill up my thermos with a few beers, put on my headphones, smoke a few, and watch the show!! What a morning!! So, I did that as I listened to the Dandy Warhols second album "The Dandy Warhols Come Down..." (cheap plug!) and I listened to it all the way to the 9th song...wasted!....getting attention!...was about to discover the greatest secret of all time. Well, it was about 9am and the people were finished. No one else walking by and if they were, they were really fat, tired and not very cheerful (you can quote me on that *smiles*). So, I just started walking down the street into a residential neighborhood(your kids are safe, its not what it sounds), and I see gloves here, shirts there, and jackets everywhere!! People fucking shed clothes on the street when they get hot and you know what ***Pelo's moment of clarity*** I WILL COLLECT ALL OF IT UP AND BRING IT HOME AND 1. I CAN WEAR THESE CLOTHES, 2. SELL THESE CLOTHES, 3. OR DONATE THESE CLOTHES, THE GOODWILL WOULD BE SO HAPPY THAT THEY WOULD FORGET ALL OF THOSE TIMES I TOLD THEM I WOULD LEAVE CLOTHES BY MY DOOR BUT ALWAYS SLEPT IN AND FORGOT. What a day of possibility and joy. Just walking and struttin my stuff, wasted, and making the most of my time for it only being 715 in the morning on a Sunday, when the day was already going to be good enough because I was getting No Way Out and I still have 5 more WCW taped payperviews to watch. Today, Scarlet, will be a good day. I have in a chew and I'm listening to the Best of Motley CrueTM ("I'm listening to the Best of Motley Crue" is trademarked and is solely intended for commercial broadcast and ownership rights for Pelorico). I'm rockin out, picking up clothing-- nice gloves, shirts, jackets, all kinds of cool shit. I've got a big sack of clothes walking down the street, all sleazed out rocking and I have never been happier in my life. Well, I get so weighted down that I ditch all of the clothes behind a bush and decide that I would just come back with my truck and load it all up!! I even ran into a city worker that said I can keep all of the clothes!!!11 I'm listening to Girls, Girls, Girlstm(see above), and feeling like the king of the world. No one on earth could be having a better time. Excluding all of those people getting a fresh morning bj. So, I walk and walk and walk, I know how far I walked because it is the same route that I jogged for a year- about 4 miles!! Then I ran into this girl and guy who was working for the marathon and they were looking at the clothes and I told them all about what I was doing and I almost got this chick's phone number! Her name is Olga and she really liked me and I liked her! She was sexy and had a really nice car! Unbelievable! Well, so I had a good time hanging out with them for about 30 minutes and they said that I could take a HUGE pile that was by there work station. They even offered me a doughnut and a breakfast taco!!!11 My favorite foods of alltime! But I had a chew in my mouth and was really fatigued and dehydrated. I didn't prepare my body for this!!! So, they left and I was a bit sad because I didn't chat it up more with Olga and get her number. That's okay. The moment is what matters, and it was a good moment. So, I just walked down a bit further, got tired, STARTED JOGGING WITH REALLY HOLY JEANS, A BIGASS HEADPHONES ON, AND REALLY SPIKEY HAIR WHILE SMUGGLING CLOTHES!!!! I am the ruler of the world. I go back to the apartment, get my truck, and proceed to "collect" all of the clothes I stashed away on my "route of thiefdom."tm(see above) Now, I ask you dear ladies and gentleman. What should I do with the clothes? And I suggest to you to find the nearest marathon near you. Loiter around the route and you will embark on an adventure that is full of joy and productivity. Fuck those rich asses that threw their clothes in the street. Lemonade out of Lemons. 50 pounds of sweaty nice clothes. A good morning. Pelo.