Passing Concentra Drug Test

I had a Pre-Employment Physical scheduled at Concentra, for a Management position. Went like this:
Tuesday 1pm arrive. Paperwork - clipboard. She says it'll be an hour. 'Place is VERY cold'.
I wait and wait. Finally, I go in. BAC first !!! I blow in the tube. 000's !!! Next, Height and weight. 'A lot of walking around these crooked hallways. Walk to another area - Urinalysis time. He opens a drawer in the cabinet and says, "Empty your pockets and leave your belongings, here." I did. Keys, $2.50, Phone, and tablet from my interview, with my resume on top.
He hands me a clear plastic cup; puts a Sharpie line on it and says, "Fill it up to here." I grab it from him and head in the small bathroom. Sink and blue-water toilet. Signs everywhere saying - Don't Flush !!!
Dr. Green's Agent X in my Left Boot. I unbuckle my loud belt and go for my left pants cuff. I acquire the bottle, rapidly and poor into the cup. I notice the cup (other side) has a Temp. Strip. I fill it all the way to his line. I used all my Dr. Green's Agent X. Whew....
I notice the temp. strip changing colors. I set it on the sink and give a little piss in the toilet. Fix my clothes and boot. Temp. strip is at 92F. I open the door. He's standing 1 foot from the door doing paperwork, Says, "Set it down here." I do. Last look - Strip is lit up right in the middle. Whew, again...
He transfers it to a shipping tube and I initial the tape. He checks all retrieval boxes GOOD. Temp, Volume, etc. We sign and move on to the vision test, Eye chart ({bring your glasses). Then move on to the Hearing chamber. 5 minutes there. We go into the examination room. WTF !!! Agent X is still in my boot. "Put these pants (disposable, blue) on. The doctor will be here soon. Again, WTF !!! During changing, I move the bottle and hand warmer to my jean pockets. Now, I'm in my Long White Compression socks and this crazy paper shorts. My same shirt. She comes in and I wasn't done concealing my clothes. WTF !!! She checks everything, physical. Yes, the Hernia check, too. Eyes, ears, mouth neck, knees, feet, back, Everything for motion and strength. We're done in about 10 minutes. A thorough examination. If I had it hid on my person, she would have found it. I was instructed to get dressed and wait up front, till my paperwork was complete. 10 minutes waiting, with my bottle now in my pockets (warmer & bottle), my letter was ready. I got up. Grabbed it and hit the door.
My lucky day - I did a test run on the heat applied. I also, have a IR temp sensor for my BBQ. I could shoot the piss and get an exact reading, immediately. I found that most of the time, I was too high. Over 104 F. Due to the commonly know wait times at Concentra and CareNow, I heated to 104F. Turned the bottle to my skin (in boot). This put the HOT Wal-Mart warmer on the outside, next to inside of my boot. I could constantly feel the warmness of the bottle. If I could feel it, it was warm. Remember, you can cool the bottle off easier than heating it up. A/C vent, toilet water, sink water, blow on it, etc. After, the hour, it wasn't as hot, it was just right. You're looking for middle colors to change on temp. strip. Rub it if you have to.
My little piss test, turned into being a full physical, with me doing Magic tricks with my bottle. Temperature is key. Results in 2 days....

 

With my Reality wife, I gladly take a toke or two and pass Pre-Employment Screen. FYI - I already got a job. Why quit when u can have both ???