I've been smoking pot for 26 years, and am now on parole. I get drug tested at random, and refuse to quit smoking. Any suggestions on how to avoid a parole violation because of my love of the weed? I've already tested positive once, and now have to undergo drug counseling. I REFUSE to quit smoking though. There HAS to be a way i can indulge without getting caught.
that sucks that you get tested at RANDOM... because if they gave you at least 48 hour notice or even 24 hour notice you could go buy one of those cleaners, drink tons of water before you take the cleaner, and pray pray pray... the best i can tell you is this: other toxins in your body can contribute to your testing positive, such as foods in high fat, tobacco, prescription or over the counter drugs (benadryl can and will make you test positive for meth! lucky my former probation officer knew about my allergy to my cat!), alcohol, things like that. so cut down on fat and try to eliminate all other toxins if possible. Your metabolism is also a determining factor as to how long THC stays in your system. You can't make THC disappear, but you can exercise, that will boost your metabolism a bit so if you DO have a bit of a notice, that'll help you flush your toxins. Also, drink lots of water, but also make sure to take your vitamins because if you drink too much water (like insane amounts) at a certain point you risk flushing your nutrients out. cranberry juice acts as a great cleaner too... and i've heard drinking a bunch of vinegar the day of your test works, but have never had the guts to do it. NEVER give them your first pee! and one last thing: if all else fails, get one of those urinator things that looks like the real thang, and bust out the $$$. i don't know if they work, but they're out there and it's better than going back to jail, unless you get caught with a bag of someone else's pee in your pants attached to a fake penis, that COULD be pretty embarrassing. your best bet is to quit though, how long are you on parole? it's hard, i quit for a year before i decided to risk the pee tests during my probation (for posession of shrooms)... best of luck!
Substitution is the best way. Use a non-toker's clean pee, but make certain that they're cool and won't rat on you. Clean pee in a sturdy condom and secured to your groin area is a sure-fire way to beat ANY pee test. It may sound weird but it's a guaranteed way to beat ALL pee tests. You've got to keep the pee at the appropriate temperature from the clean source to you or the pee may degrade. I believe that you can freeze it as well, for long-term storage, but that won't work for you probably. In your case, where the government snoops can just pop in on you at any time, is a bit more difficult. You are effectively GOVERNMENT PROPERTY for the time being, and your rights have been whittled down to nothing. It would be very difficult to have your clean pee prepared and ready for a 3am raid by the pee police. You sound as though you really enjoy your ganja, and don't want to give it up--and I don't blame you--but you need to weigh the downside here. If a parole violation will send you to the can for a long time, I don't know if the risk is worthwhile. It might be very difficult to weed up in the can (although maybe not), so be very careful. Better to do without for a while, than to get caught and sent back to the slammer for a few years. Like the other poster said, you could leave the country, or you could just become a 'new' person, with a new identity, if you wouldn't mind leaving behind your old friends and family.