parents are divorcing after 20 years..

Discussion in 'General' started by ytfghmjb, Jan 20, 2010.

  1. #1 ytfghmjb, Jan 20, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2010
    and im pretty much in the middle of this big ass battle between the two..

    first here's a little background info: my mom was impregnated ~20 years ago, her and my dad were mainly married because of me. of course they had things in common and what not, but i don't believe they would've ever gotten married if i was not in the picture. so as the years passed more tension raised, fights and arguments became routine and they lost interest. now a days, they cant stand to even look at each other..

    however, i'm not finding all of this out until now. when i was little i knew the tension was there, but it was always sheltered from me. now that im grown, it kills me to see my parents fight like this. i'm in college now on my own so seperation won't affect me as much, but im still afraid at how big of a change this is. i mean i just want them both to be happy, even if divorce is the case, but i know this is gonna cause a rift between both sides of my family and me.

    one part of me is saying to try to fix the situation by talking to them.. another part is saying to just let them be and settle their differences themselves. at this point im not sure which would be better. :(

    i wish i could add more but im already late for work.. i will be updating soon..
     
  2. talking to them probably wont do any good. If the tension has been there all this time it most likely wont change.

    sorry :(
     
  3. Keep your head up mate, it's probably best to just stay out the way. If a divorce is what will make them happy then you must appreciate their decision. Hey look on the bright side twice as many presents on crimbo/birthday :D
     
  4. There probably isn't much you can do about it now that you're onto your own life. Cherish the moments you can still have with them..
     
  5. Hey Man...

    I'm in a similar situation. My parents have been married 20+ years, and fought a lot when I was younger. My mom said she would divorce my dad once my sister and I were both in college (we are now)... they simply are not in love anymore and my dad is rather irritating (to my mom the most, but also to my sister and I). I think in my case, there's no stopping a divorce, it's going to be odd with the separation, but, like you said... we're growing up and on our own. Soon enough we will be completely independent and the separation won't affect us much. Keep your head up! :)
     


  6. Exactly^^.... you said that your parents married because of you so who is to say that they have not been saying for years "when the kids are out of the house". My husband and I said that very thing in the roughest years and perhaps your parents did as well. I am happy to say that we rebounded and found new life for one another after the kids were gone but for others it is just time to say good bye.

    Keep the faith that it will be better without all the tension. Perhaps they actually will becocme the happy people that perhaps you were not able to see underneath all that tension.
     
  7. the worst thing parents can do is stick it out for the kids. its puts tremedous strain on the entire family. seperation isnt that bad, and most marriges end in this. my adivice to you is let nature take its course and let your parents choose baised on thier feelings, not your opinion.

    plus, its not like you will never see one of them again. if they love you, they will be there.
     
  8. You should never marry someone if you don't truly love them and having a kid isn't a reason to get married, your dad could still be your father and he would have to pay child support regardless of whether they had gotten married or not. She could've still had you and been with someone else rather than both of them live unhappily. I know it's too late but I just wanted to say it.

    -biiiiiig hug-
     

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