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Parenting + Smoking....xtc...raves...??

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by XColonelsPrideX, Mar 23, 2006.

  1. Hey guys. I have a topic for discussion, and I'd like to hear your points of view. I was raised in a very strict household and believed that smoking pot was 'all sorts of wrong' :rolleyes: please. Once I became educated I was able to change my view (obviously, I am a member of GC) and became a toker myself. I was under the impression that when I was to have children- I would stop... now I am not sure what I think. My sister in law and my brother still smoke pot. I have a 3 year old nephew. I have no problem with them still smoking, its just the attitude my sister in law carries that makes me uncomfortable. She is still living her life, the way she would have without my nephew. She goes out and drinks and parties- does xtc at times. I am not sure it is the drugs that worry me- its the fact that I can see that she can turn off being a mother and go wild for awhile without thinking and while doing so partaking in xtc, raves, ...etc. In the end she just gets lost in her own world (shes a wild child as you can tell). She is more than happy give the responsibilty of my nephew to someone else. I do not want to be closed minded at all... I believe that people should live life the way that they want to live if it is not harming anyone but themselves. However, I wanted to know what your opinion of this was.

    I am not completely concrete on my opinion of smoking while having a child- s o my question is... should parents stop smoking once they have children?? I am not sure which way I am leaning- I mean I have MANY years to figure this one out.. until then I am going to go hit the vap. :smoking:

    also.... am I wrong to worry about my nephew???
  2. nah man.... i dont mean to cause drama or anything here... but in my opnion.... your sister isnt fit to have a child.... you need to sit her down and explain to her what she's doing... its not okay to "pass" the responsability, its not babysitting, you cant pay your brother $20 bucks to babysit for the night while you go to a party..... she might want to considering laying off the XTC and shit.... but i feel it is okay.. (and if/when i have a kid , i think ill still smoke) to smoke and do other drugs, as long as theirs BALANCE, she's responsible for a human life... and not just physically making sure HER CHILD stays alive... thats how fucked up kids start..... she needs to have a reality check... not to mention even for just smoking pot, her child WILL get taken away by the state if she EVER gets caught with ANY drug.... so you might want to just kinda have a sit down with her... other than that yah, i dont think smokings wrong when you have a kid... theres a few couples on here that have kids and toke... so its possible you just gotta think about it and work something out. props for worry about your nephew.
  3. i mean weed is something that can be enjoyed resposibly, as well as alcohol...but with a child that young she needs to take a little break and concentrate on raising the child. i know i plan on not drinking or smoking for a while when i want to have kids.
  4. thank you for your repelies. I agree.. I think that all things can be enjoyed responsibly and in portions. My nephew is the CUTEST THING in the whole world. I love him to death. I am not just saying that because I am his aunt, he is honestly the cutest thing in the world. AND SMART TOO! My brother has a good head on his shoulders, and i LOVE my sister-in-law.. but shes too occupied with being 'the naughty sister in law' who parties and asks me about my sex life.... I feel im more responsible with her. She doesn't explain anything to him- i am always the one who has to explain. Like when we went to the zoo- he didnt understand why they were in the cage. It was sad. I am just wondering what to do- talk to her? Its a difficult situation.

    I dont mean to say that problem is xtc and smoking pot- i realize that people here partake in both, and I am not saying this is bad. I am just saying once you have children- you need to live for the kid first.
  5. I will have to say, at least in my experience, that smoking does not hurt if you keep the balance. My mother smoked all my life (not while pregnant) just all my life. She will be the first to tell you and me that she would never ever put pot over me. I am an only child, and she was very protective. Not like a freak but she would never put me off on anyone. I hope that speaking w/ your sis in law will help her to see the light. Good luck. JOE>
  6. I see no reason needed to stop smoking when you have a child, (Unless ofcourse your pregnant.) Why should the adult give up there hobby. Keep it on the down low, tell your kids when they are older, ready, or find out for themselves.

    As for the Xtc, and raves. Why not? It's no different than a Parent who uses legal drugs, goes to the Bar and gets drunk. Parents need time away too, as long as they do it responsibly.
  7. I agree xCPx, drugs are not the problem. Its surprising that people do not understand that children are a great responsibility. Or that they let their love of a drug overshadow that responsibility. (or love of the feeling of a drug) Even if you don't make the decision to get pregnant, you still make the choice to keep it. There is no way to think your life isn't going to change.

    How about your brother in law? Is he picking up the slack? Is he comfortable with this situation?
  8. There's nothing wrong in enjoying yourself once you become a parent :rolleyes:
    Parents are allowed to go out and party while leaving someone responsible to look after there little uns. Every now and then my boy stays with grandparents overnight and we go out and enjoy are selfs without the worry of are the kids ok ;)
    Granted getting wasted 24/7 is something totally different !!!!
  9. If your having kids, make them your first priority. Smoking and drinking are not really the problem, it can all be done responsible. But if your having kids that might say "when i was growing up mommy was on Ecstasy and didn't care about me" Than you should really be revaluating if your fit to be a parent or not.

    Yes kids take over your life, but if she is a parent she should have to face that.

    All of this is just my opinion though.
  10. thats pretty depressing, and that must really be saying something, cause im pretty baked. dont post sad shit like that son.
  11. "There's nothing wrong in enjoying yourself once you become a parent :rolleyes:
    Parents are allowed to go out and party while leaving someone responsible to look after there little uns. Every now and then my boy stays with grandparents overnight and we go out and enjoy are selfs without the worry of are the kids ok ;) "

    that was nicley put... yah, i might've come off a little too.... ambigious in my reponse... doing drugs and having kids is fine as long as its in moderation.. but i interpted the situation as she was "passing responsability" i believe was the quote, which definetly isnt cool... you gotta raise your kid yourself... if you set up something like you, thats totally fine... grandparents overnight, i can dig it.. but it just sounded like ( to me) That she was going out with any planning, and just like leaving it up to her husband and this childs loving aunt :wave: to figure out what to do, which ISNNNT cool.
  12. well... I say there's a lot of different factors that needed to be added. for one marijauna is nothing like other drugs, if your sister can't handle responsibilty then she shouldn't be doing those things. parents both smoke always have my whole life, growing up if I were caught smoking I was lectured hard and told I wasn't starting that habbit while I was still underage....after graduation, it hypocritical weed smokin parents came through now we toke together. they handle responsibilty greatly as they run there own buisness and raise my 8 year old sister. all while being STONERS, LOL you don't know how funny that really is to me, and we maintain a nice happy family:D
  13. IMHO, He actually seems like the grounded one of the group. From what i gathered, she really opened his eyes to partying, and he doesnt partake nearly as often.

    Its tough to really say though b/c we've met her and their son, but not him yet.

    But theres no reason to judge their lifestyle, provided it doesnt get in the way of their responsibilities. They have a beautiful kid. So much fun. :D
  14. Oh I agree. If you can abuse drugs and have responsibility at the same time...yes I see no problem. But that isn't the vibe I'm getting.

    xCPx, Since he's comfortable with the situation talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn't mind and there's more to the picture when the whole picture is put together. (the whole family is together and such) :smoking:
  15. rather then toss an opinion out there on their recreational drug use I'll shoot for a possible solution...

    Do you guys live near them? if so you could maybe sit for the adorale lil guy a weekend a month or something to allow them to blow off steam?

    Ya vape some grade A green pop some popcorn rent a dvd he can safely view with ya guys and you all kick back and get a feel for what its like to have a kid around

    kills two birds with one ya realize first hand how hard/enjoyable it is to take care of a little one and help your sister in the process

    I'd say a sit down is in order tho if she's getting outta hand with it now...and it should be made clear that since you'd be going out of your way to help she'd have to suck it up the rest of the month
  16. I think parents should still enjoy marijuana, even with their kids. I think it's better that way so they can actually teach their kids to be responsible with it.

    I think however, they should be strict about other drugs. And parents definitely shouldn't do any other drug when they have kids. Its just too irresponsible, unless they're like away from the house for awhile.
  17. First of all i want to clarify that my sister is my sister in law and my brother is my blood. He is the one with the good head on his shoulders. It runs in the family (TheColonel is probably laughing at that right now)

    I know what you all are saying, that doing drugs responsibly while having children is okay. I believe that too. The only issue I have is that she is very quick to "hand over" my nephew to go out and party. Really what it comes down to is she is very self centered. She wants everything to revolve around her and she has a hard time because my nephew takes that time away from her. I wish I lived near them- they live in Hawaii. If i did live near them my full time job would be to watch my nephew. As I said.. hes the sweetest thing.

    My brother is very relaxed- he does not like to go out and party and is more of a quiet type than my sister in law. I think where she lacks he makes up for in a BIG way. Still- I can't help but worry. I have so much love for the boy. I mean its cool to smoke with them, and enjoy a night out with her- but its as if being a mother is not what she wants.

    She made the decision to have him. She wanted to have him. She loves him, but its really all about her as I have said. She makes him do things she should do- HES 3!!! I just think shes crazy. :)

    As for smoking while having children I do agree with you guys- why should your life end once you have a child. I think I might still partake- but only when I have taken care of my baby first.

    *edit* I just realized I made it sound like I was either pregnant or having a baby. Nope no where near there. i meant WHEN I have a child....WAYYY down the road.
  18. lol I feel like an ass for saying brother in law. :laughing: sorry to confuse anyone.

    Yeah when you look at the whole picture I don't really think it's a good way to raise children either. Mother's like her should not be raising the future. It could be worse but it still isn't good. I'm sorry for you. I can be a very emotional person. That would eat me up. Especially being so closely related to the people. Have you ever talked to your brother about it? I'm not sure what that would accomplish. Maybe some peace of mind but maybe not... It must be of some comfort to know that your brother is there for your nephew.
  19. Aw first of all dont feel like an ass. I dont think I clarifyed. I am an emotional person as well- and it does eat me up at times. I know he is being taken care of my brother, who is a good guy. I am not sure if talking to him is the answer though. I think once I go to visit them in their OWN house in Hawaii (they just moved there! I get to go this summer.. ALOHA!) I will get a better idea at how the routine around the house is. We will see... I really like her. I see she has the potential to be a good mother.........

    ........sigh. this topic really just kinda tears me up inside.

    thank you guys so much on your imput though. It really helps knowing what you guys think. I always like hearing other opinions, even if they differ from mine. That is what makes you a well versed individual. Being able to be objective and listen to other view points.
  20. I would personally stop all smoking when I have kids. It just doesn't seem right.

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