I have recently been smoking and got these ideas about my life like how Im a complete weirdo, nobody likes being around me, and that Im a complete freak and should be put to death. Then when Im sober I feel normal and tell myself that my life has been hard but im doing well, but then I remember these ideas and dont know whether they are true or not.
Is it true? do you in fact suck so much you deserve death? If so....well we will get back to that and those options.... Now if you do not actually suck that much...... Its all in your head.... wait! Its all in your head either way...... The real question when it comes to delusions is......do you believe them?
Sativa will do that shit to you....You might want to stick to indica... things are cross-hybrids nowadays...but sativa gives you more of a thought provoking high cerebral high....
You're not "centred". Everyone needs to be grounded in some way. The best of us are centred in their own mind, aware of the fallibility of their own mind and the infinite possibilities of reality. You could get hit by a truck tomorrow. Or, you could meet the love of your life. You never know. In short, you are overcomplicating things. In your life you should focus not on any single element, but open your mind and let your thoughts pass through you freely. Thoughts are random, therefore they can't define you. You are defined by how you sift through them and what captures your focus. Try some meditation. Or alot of meditation. A 'trip' with someone experienced may help too, so long as you put some effort into it beforehand. Life is meaningless. But your own existence will have whatever meaning you give to it. Open your eyes. There's no better moment than now, whether you believe it or not.