Paranoia Stories?

I'm not paranoid when I got my Longboard, anyone who fucks with me is getting a fatty ass truck slap and my board is 11-ply maple bitches

 

when i first started toking and would toke in my room (which faces the front of my house) i swear i thought every fuckin person id hear walking by with a dog was a cop with a k9 unit.

 

And don't forget sleeping.. Those kids with reefer madness will just turn around and fall asleep right in front of you.

 

3 tabs of lsd+Tijuana

 

Lol Nice one guys Super funny stories here.

Ok well im from South africa so and me and a few mates went off in the afternoon to go smoke by this cliff facing a valley. Where there is a super sick sunset. and we were walking on this cliff and i was infront. Pretty baked off a few crystal rain bongs. i walked past this bush and it started rattling at me. so, living in South Africa. I thought it was a rattlesnake and parried the fuck out and fell off the cliff onto a ledge. i had a bong in my bag so that was the first i checked but the amazing thing was my friends parried to cus they just saw me fall off the cliff xD!! then we got up and had a huge sesh

Cmoooon!! more stories guys ^^

 

I was smoking at a party once with a group of people, one of which was a very inexperienced smoker. The party was fairly young so people were still coming in. The one noob guy, every time somebody knocked on the door, he'd say, "Is there a cop in the door?" It was funnier every time he said it, there was something about the thought of a cop being in the door that cracked my ass up.

 

i bet you it was roto, i hate those eye drops! a friend once blurted" YOU ACTUALLY PUT THOSE IN YOUR EYES?!?!" right after i put 2 drops in each eye as it burned and harshly killed my high. I GOT MAD. LOL

 

There was a time back in the winter of 2008, me and three of my friends smoked in my friend's girlfriend's backyard. We smoked three blunts and made a bunch of bottle bongs and I was pretty geared, so we go inside and start eating and just chilling around. So, me and my friend Nick go up the street to a Quick Chek to get a sub. We get two subs and start walking back to the house when a car beamed us with headlights and we are like "Wtf?" Three guys get out of the car and one of them says "Aye yo! GET BACK HERE!" And at this point we start laughing. Well, my friend was laughing, but I was fake laughing, and I was scared out of my mind. We turned the other way and started walking around the block, but this car followed us and was creeping, so my friend asked if there was a problem. The car sped off and threw a bottle at us.

Another time, me, my two friends, and my friend's girlfriend smoked in the woods that was nearby a school in like...mid day. In the school parking lot, we see two cop cars circling around the parking lot and we are like "Oh shit. They're gonna get us." Then, my friend Brandon gets a call from some kid, and we believe the kid he's getting a call from is a cop, because of his past (that's another story.) He answers the phone and the kid says "Yo, where are you?" And my friend answers "Oh, I'm at my house. Why?" The kid says "Stop lying, I see you." We look and see the kid entering the woods, near where the cop car was. Everybody fucking splits out the opposite end of the woods, and we never heard from that kid again.

 

gave the pizza man a really shitty tip cause i was broke and i thought after i closed the door i could see him there just standing there facing the door. I was tweaking the fuckj out i thought he was standing theree for like 14 minutes just completely wacked out about to pull an ole bessy and blast my ass. Then i saw it was actually a flag handing from the door frame..

 

Fucking pissed me off on this one. I went over to my buddies house last Sunday to play poker in his garage. I smoked a bowl of some headies, and got pretty high. I was feeling good. Btw, there has been a police officer riding up and down his street almost every day now for some reason. So we are paying poker, and my friend was like "who's that in the window? (It was nighttime) What does he have in his hand? Somebody is definitely there man." Take not that he is perfectly sober and was clearly fucking with me for about 5 min. I didn't know, and almost got scared as fuck, and was about to hide and get the fuck out. He started laughing, and i wanted to beat the fuck out of him. He almost ruined my high, and i thought we were gonna get shot, or a police officer was at the window.

 

Parked in parking lot of a mall with sunroof open, me and my bud lit up a bowl to smoke before seeing Legend of the Guardians in 3D. Anyway, right when he blows the smoke out the roof one of those mall cops comes driving by in his golf cart. I thought we were busted for sure, and he even stopped. I was flippin but we just backed out casually and went to another parking spot. Did it agian and I kept thinking this guy was staring at our car but there was no dude there, freaky as shit. But watching that movie while baked was amazing hahah

 

[quote name='"Kushjob"']

Would have been better if he was on a Segway. Those things are stealth mode.[/quote]

Hahaha then it would be totally worth it

 

Bonged some alaskan thunderfuck w/ kief, got a really strong, weird feeling high to tha dome, and I assumed it was laced. I was sketching pretty hard for a good 20 mins, (cos I had to go to class, wasn't tryna get that faded) ..pretty sure I killed my friends high..
Recently about 2 weeks ago, me and my homie picked up a sack from this dude who is a homie but I know he does coke. Well I took ONE HIT from the Zong and before I knew it my short term memory was fucked and I felt like I was in a dream, no joke! Haha that was the only other time when I thought the bud was laced, but I didn't sketch out that time, I was concerned for like 5 mins and then I enjoyed it.
(Still dont know how the fuck that happened)

 

I used to think my high school teachers always knew If I was high. Then after a while, I stopped giving a fuck.

 

One time, i was so paranoid that i ended up shitting my pants. i used my friends half-eaten chiipotle burrito to clean myslef up