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p_squared's real verse

Discussion in 'General' started by p_squared342000, Jul 24, 2006.

  1. #1 p_squared342000, Jul 24, 2006
    i just wanted to post and get people' reactions. this is not the verse i used for the battle cause it was too long

    Now if there’s a heaven, there must be a hell
    And I’ve got a little story, that I must tell
    We all die one day, but this I didn’t have to say
    But before we die, we must get paid,
    Dollar after dollar, day after day,
    Waiting to lay back, and sip on some Tanqueray,
    Easier said than done, try not to be a bum,
    I followed the rule, others became a tool,
    Now I ain’t sayin Q’s a tool, but he’s definitely a fool,
    Son tried to get paid, started up in a drug trade,
    All he wanted was money, become a man made,
    Boy wasn’t a man, ended up in a Jimmy Hoffa can,
    PDouble ended up dough, with bitches in tow,
    With Lucifer comes Jesus, or is it a myth just to tease us,
    When I breathe my last, I’ll take it to task,
    Land in Heaven’s gate, and it might be fate,
    Saint Peter’s smoking a blunt, and I see Q’s cunt,
    Waiting to find eternal bliss, I just hope I don’t miss,
    Q steps up to Pete, and fails this feat,
    Gets sent to Hell, next to Gibson, Mel,
    I stride towards, and get sent forwards,
    But first the blunt is passed, didn’t even have to ask,
    Puff, puff, and pass, and tap out the ash,
    Cinders land on Q’s dome, but all he does is bitch and moan,
    Now P2’s in heaven, playing craps with Pac rolling 7’s,
    And Q’s in Hates, getting fucked up the ass by man-ladies
     
  2. #2 p_squared342000, Jul 24, 2006
    somebody's gotta care
     
  3. #3 mistertr1ck, Jul 24, 2006
    i still dont like it... boring and the whole heaven and hell topic sucks
     
  4. #4 Lil Loko, Jul 24, 2006
    this was in a battle? where are you dissing your opponent? you hadda couple lines towards Q but nothing major..

    anyways.. u needa step alotta thangs up.. multis, punches, alil bit of nameplay.. probbly get a better rhyme scheme.. yours is too simple..

    also, a question i wanna ask.. if your original verse was too long, why post up a 'verse' with nothing but filler (reffering to the verse u used in battle).. this was no dissing whatsoever besides the obvious 'i aint sayin Q's a tool, but definately a fool' one-liner:

    Now if there’s a heaven, there must be a hell
    And I’ve got a little story, that I must tell
    We all die one day, but this I didn’t have to say
    But before we die, we must get paid,
    Dollar after dollar, day after day,
    Waiting to lay back, and sip on some Tanqueray,
    Easier said than done, try not to be a bum,
    I followed the rule, others became a tool,
    Now I ain’t sayin Q’s a tool, but he’s definitely a fool,
    Son tried to get paid, started up in a drug trade,
    All he wanted was money, become a man made,
    Boy wasn’t a man, ended up in a Jimmy Hoffa can,
    PDouble ended up dough, with bitches in tow,
    With Lucifer comes Jesus, or is it a myth just to tease us,
    When I breathe my last, I’ll take it to task,
    Land in Heaven’s gate, and it might be fate,


    that was all nothing but filler.. ^^ you could've used that as an audio track ina non-battle..


    ^everything after that is what you should've originally posted up..

    in all though.. u need some serious work. i give u credit though on attempting.
     
  5. #5 p_squared342000, Jul 24, 2006
    i know it wasn't the greatest, and i am working on it. i did that in about 10 minutes tiredly. i just wanted to post what i actually wrote
     
  6. #6 NealCaffery, Jul 24, 2006
    Well, its more like..a poem, you dont really diss your oppenent.
     
  7. #7 p_squared342000, Jul 24, 2006
    yeah, i kinda forgot to diss him. lol. i started with the idea and just totally forgot it was a battle. i write some anyways, and i just went with it. its simple too cause i was typing it and i feel a lot more comfertable actually writing
     
  8. #8 bubonic chronic, Jul 24, 2006
    pure poetry man i liked it alot. i don't see why u gettin all this hate towards it. i mean i know it was not good for a battle but who gives a fuck. people still need to praise you for such a creative work. i think it was good. and i liked the heaven and hell thing you had goin on. i had fun readin it and thought it was some pure poetry shit.

    man if u got any more poems or shit you wrote i'd like to read em man so post em or pm some to me ;)
     
  9. #9 p_squared342000, Jul 24, 2006
    I'm the M-E-T-H man
    selling stuff to soccor moms in mini vans
    addicts willin to suck off a man
    but i only take cash, no blow from joe
    this stuff sells, got mo game than Zo
    hell i got better ratings than primetime shows
    think you can sellmore, we can go toe to toe
    or eye to eye, this is the truth, i don't lie
    fool you gonna die
    your chest gonna takemore shots than AI
    bystanders catching interceptions like they dre bly
    its fly or die and i got wings
    drinkin red bull and vodka, showin off my bling
    platnium and white gold, hell i got diamonds on my soles
    jordans pimped out from heel to toe
    king of the north, you don't know
    watch your step, get left alone
    speak outta turn, catch yourseldf a hole
    silent shooter on the grasy knole
    be left dead on the side of the road
    people be findin you body ice cold
    me bein home getting head from a ho
     
  10. #10 bubonic chronic, Jul 24, 2006
    thats pretty good man i like that one too. had a few good methaphors.

    "fool you gonna die
    your chest gonna takemore shots than AI"

    haha i liked dat one man. dat dudes ain't gonna have a chest left afta dat tho haha

    u had some pretty funny shit in there man. keep it up
     
  11. #11 p_squared342000, Jul 24, 2006
    thanks. i actually did that one a while ago
     

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