I do this alot when I'm in my backyard at night time like 12am smoking. I live in the suburbs so there's no forests or woods really nearby that I can just go to, well there is but a little far. I zone out alot when im smoking alone and get lost in thought, or the music thats playing. Or I get lost in the sky
Meditation can help with discovering who you are. As can just closing your eyes, and thinking for an hour before you go to bed. I'm telling you meditation is powerful and worth getting into. And you should try getting the job back. Assuming you didn't cuss the manager out or anything when you quit lol. Also I know the feeling about school. All of my friends graduated in May and I am not even half way through. But realistically you need a high school degree to get pretty much any job that will be able to pay for you basic needs. It sucks but I think if you get your GED it won't even take that long.
I don't think I have a chance at getting that job back. I probably do but the big manager, the boss of the whole thing didn't like me too much. Towards the end I was tardy alot and careless, and he noticed. I've always been polite with them though. I hate how many bad decision's i've made in life. I was supposed to pay for my GED the other weekl, but the fuckers at the office I was tryna pay at kept bullshitting me. Like no one in the office knew how to help me and all I wanted to do was pay for my GED. I ended up cussing out the office staff and leaving, now I'm officially banned from stepping foot there and must go to the next city to get my GED. I really want to take a T-break but I don't ever last. I just get too miserable. I won't eat, sleep. I'll barely even want to talk to people. Now-a-days I can't tell if Im abusing weed or medicating. Growing up I was damn sure I was abusing it obviously, but i'm so dependant on it now. If I didn't smoke weed I would probably be on some kind of pill again. Towards the end of the day when I come back home I'm gonna try meditating.