One-liners!

*80s anti-drug action movie douche drops pot head in a cement mixer* "Now that's what I call *puts on killer shades* a stoner!" YEEEAAAAAHHHH!!! But seriously fuck those movies.

 

I don't do coke, I just like the smell of it..

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says..."Why the long face ?"

 

"Your mom goes to college" * In the voice of Kip from Neapolitan dynamite*


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a baby seal walked into a club..

 

pig fell in the mud

 

These one-liners from PunsVille.com are the best so far ..
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.

 

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the long face?"

The horse says "A man just murdered my entire family."


...


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Mitch Hedberg:

I'm against picketing but I don't know how to show it.

 

When I die, bury me with my ass sticking up. That way when my friends visit, they have a place to park their bicycle.


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