One-liners!

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by bbg, Mar 5, 2013.

  1. Hi all,

    I'm a big comedy fan, this thread (my second) is meant for others to share there one-liner jokes :)
    some of my favourites are:

    I was going to tell a gay joke, butt fuck it.

    My girlfriend asked me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty"

    If you ever get mad, just imagine a T-rex trying to masterbate...

    Enjoy everyone!:)
     
  2. I don't have anything against gays, they're just fucking assholes.
     
  3. Women's rights.
     
  4. I was gonna tell a gay joke, butt fuck it...
     
  5. i dont do coke, sht i rarely drink pepsi
     
  6. Would you like to smoke and have sex? :smoke:
     
  7. Man who runs in front of car gets tired.
    Man who runs in back of car gets exhausted.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. Gota love that Justin bieber

    Dun dun tis
     
  9. I'm addicted to placebos. I would try to quit but it wouldn't make a difference anyway.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out
    We are all part of the ultimate statistic-10 out of 10 people die
    Dont steal-the government hates competion
    We are born naked,wet,and hungry and it only gets worse
    Borrow money from a pessismest-they dont expect it back
     
  11. If you like one liners, look up Mitch hedberg
     
  12. "I once tried to walk into a Target, and I missed."
    "I once saw a forklift lifting a crate of forks, and that was too literal ,even for me."

    -Mitch Hedberg
     
    • Funny Funny x 1

  13. I remember a couple of those from my agenda from high school. There was a quote each week. I actually think they may have stopped putting the quotes in after my sophomore or junior year. Mostly bad puns and the like though.
     
  14. Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
     
  15. I got girls lining up to talk to me all day. Although, I am a cashier but still.
     
  16. Today i saw a girl wearing shorts so short, she needed a hairnet. 
     
  17. I wanna kiss her butt she wont let me..

    Sent from my SM-T210R using Grasscity Forum mobile app
     
  18. butt its funny. :smoke:
     
  19. " I used to do drugs, I still do, but I used to too" - Mitch Hedberg the one liner God
     
  20. You are under arrest for stealing the stars and putting them in your eyes.
    What do 9/10 people enjoy? gang rape....
    What has 453 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? my zipper....
     
     
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