On intelligence and Social interaction

I don't know about your theories, I do know that this topic was studied many many times, for multiple years in Sociology. How humans interpret symbols (such as the distance one speaks to another, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc).

Also, people who pick up subtle hints, or as you call it, "energies", aren't particularly "Intelligent" if you are referring to IQ, for example. Many extremely intelligent human beings (IQ), such as Albert Einstein, Mozart and more, have been diagnosed with Aspergers and other illnesses that prohibits them from carrying on daily interactions with others. Actually, most "geniuses" have problems with social interaction.
It is more of an "Emotional Intelligence" (emotional capacity) which in my opinion is equally useful to succeed in life. Knowing what the other person wants to hear, in order to get what you want. Knowing how to avoid confrontations or unstable topics. Knowing what to say to please a person. This does come with consequences though. I tend to over think many things, since I always reckon what the other person is thinking, what he would do next, what he meant by choosing that particular word. You catch my drift.

I do experience a feeling of being "drained", I think it is just the physical act of thinking a lot (yes, thinking consumes a lot of energy), especially if the topic or the person is boring you. If you would be talking to a person, as you said, you would be exchanging energy, right? Why should one feel "drained" if he is exchanging energy (assuming energy levels would be balanced)?

Nice theory, Peace

 

Interesting.

Dealing with people in the real world is very different to talking to people in the virtual. No matter how careful or balanced we think we are, sharing the same space with another makes it so we can't help pick up the clues, feel affected by the way someone appears, what they say, how they say it, so many things. The more sensitive and open, the more aware of subtleties, the more these things affect what happens. Even the awkwardness of finding the right moment to talk, without interfering with either's need to continue on, can be a real issue. So many things.

Yet, in the virtual, where there is no wrong time. No imposition. Where the visual distractions don't exist, and where only what you say matters, allows for people to reveal themselves in a way they may rarely, if ever, get to do 'outside'.

I don't think we can judge those who never seem to reveal themselves physically. It may be an ego thing - it's usually involved in there somewhere.

 

It's called a University.

 

intelligent people wish to not socialize in an ever increasingly sick society, so it's no wonder you find trouble there.

 

We are creating our own society of individuals. No more sheep.

 

I don't think intelligence has anything to do with how much you share ideas. Some people are better talkers and ate able to easily string their ideas together into speech while some people are just better listeners. I have plenty of very intelligent friends who do not discuss these types of things simply because they just don't want to.

 

How do you know someone is intelligent if they don't reveal what they think?

 

Intelligence is relative to what you do. A engineer needs to know varying degrees of complex math while a senator needs to understand law and the inner workings of politics. Neither of these two probably know anything about how to complete each others jobs. Does this make them unintelligent? No, that person is just intelligent in what they do.

 

So you're saying intelligence is revealed by what you do not what you know?

 

Essentially, intelligent people are people who are successful at what they do. This could be curing cancer or reading a book as both take intelligence to perform. Playing guitar well can be considered intelligent if you think about it. You have to process a million different things to strum correctly and play a song.

We are all intelligent in our way in our respective interests. I think intelligence is a vague idea that is to closely tied to what you know and not how you can apply it.

 

"Men are born ignorant, and not stupid. It is education (experience and conditioning) which renders Man either 'stupid' or 'smart'."

 

I notice this bigtime with myself however there are times where if things are going well and I don't have a bunch of energy I can just ignore it and all the "demons" or negatives. Most of the time though I'm anxious (even alone) and when I concentrate on my own flaws I grab everyone elses too and honestly it seems like they notice it because they always get uncomfortable, or look it.

 

I sort of agree but to keep your hypothesis consistent consider changing the description "dumb" for a person who maybe less in tune to your interpretation of a worthwhile social interaction. A withdrawn person can also be perceived as "dumb" so your summary of others/alternatives maybe based in circumstance.

 

Your impression of someones intelligence only provides a measurement relevant to you. So unless you can provide a form of reward for someone to jump through your hoops why would anyone bother, other than to entertain the vague assumptions of other faceless characters.

 

Yes, those last few words are very important - they look it. I'm never certain what that look is although you may be right much of the time. Trouble is, some of the time that may be wrong, because the state of anxiety creates a reality that is very different to the one they are experiencing. Without actual verbal or existential confirmation that they feel as I think they do, there is always the possibility that they don't. and only I THINK THEY DO.

But, because i am used to looking at my own flaws and being honest with myself, I forget that most other s aren't, and when I point the light of my way of seeing things onto them, they can reveal exactly the same look.

What I say to myself is, what is my intention for doing so? Is it to show them how right i am and how wrong they are, or is it to open all our eyes through the honest investigation of what is? Just because someone doesn't want me to reveal the truth to them, shine a light on it, doesn't mean it isn't the truth. My seeing 'the truth' (which is always just a way of seeing things) is part of who I am. That matters more than having people who it doesn't, seem affected by what I say.

It's easier to say things in written form because things can be edited, but there's nothing like the truth that comes out in spoken moments. The trick is to open to them, empathise, almost love them in a way, so that what I need to say comes out in a way that doesn't highlight their flaws as if something is wrong, but look to go beyond things as if everything is right.

 

Good point.

They shouldn't have to prove anything of course. But in not 'shining' they reveal something other than who they are.

If someone will only reveal themselves on the promise of some reward, nothing is done unconditionally. Nothing is truly open. It must always go through this belief. They have no NEED to show themselves, but why not? What is gained by holding back, hiding? Not in a 'look at me' egoic way, which may still be how someone else sees it, but in a real way because it is who we are?

For me, having the opportunity to express myself NOW is always going to be different to who I was BEFORE. I won't know who that is in the way I would do without doing so. I am constantly changing, not looking to find some comfortable niche to sit with the appropriate label on.

 

These conversation don't really arise organically which is why internet forums are awesome. You find like-minded people who are all drawn to the same topic and have the time, motivation, and energy to discuss it.

That rarely happens with random people on the street.

 

That's why the internet, even though it has its down sides, is technology that's creating a real revolution in bringing like-minded people together in a way that our history could never have imagined. We share ourselves and our ideas for the good of all. And even though there are a lot of ideas to sift through, a lot of shit, it's strange how so many times we just happen to find the very thing we can really resonate with.

 

i just read my post sober. I sound like a drunk fool!