Okay, I made a post a few weeks ago..

Hello, everyone..

I am going to tell you my whole story, so if you aren't interested in offering some helpful advice, or in reading a wall of text, then this thread isn't for you. I am just looking for some friendly advice, from people that I KNOW have experienced smoking a large amount of marijuana. I don't want to waste anyone's time.

Here it goes.

I made a post on here a few weeks ago about quitting smoking. I think it was two or three days after quitting, and I hadn't felt any signs of recovery, so I decided to ask around. I think it was something like, "how long does it take for my brain to fully recovery and re-wire itself after quitting a long-term pot addiction?" Something along those lines. A lot of you responded with very intelligent, helpful answers. I, too, thought I was going to feel better, but it's been nearly a month, and I still feel stoned and spacey.

I get frequent panic attacks, though they have started to die down as of late. But, I just still can't see the end of this dark chapter in my life. I am plagued with STRANGE thoughts. I mean, really strange. My perception on reality is completely different than before I started smoking, or even while I was still smoking. Keep in mind, I was smoking every day, all day, for about a year or so. With only a few small breaks here and there. I have tried mushrooms a few times, and acid once, but pot has always been my main thing. Now, when I say that my perception on reality is different, I mean that I just don't view my life, or the world the same anymore. I got into this whole afterlife fit shortly after quitting. I am a philosophizer to the max, so getting high all the time really didn't help. Well, it did, but it only aided my curious brain in thinking of even more strange shit. I often dwell about the universe, and how truly massive it is. I just think too much, bottom line. But, after quitting, it has only gotten worse. One would think that it would have improved, but it has actually had quite the opposite affect.

Depersonalization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

^ That is a disorder that I stumbled upon doing research for marijuana withdrawals. I have already been through the normal symptoms, such as loss of appetite (I lost almost 8 pounds in the first week, WITHOUT exercise), lack of sleep (was probably only getting 2 or 3 hours of sleep per night) and the COMPLETE irritation. However, my symptoms are different, so it seems. Keep in mind, I didn't even know that disorder existed until I discovered it a day or so ago, so it's not like I am matching myself or trying to diagnose anything. I even got chills reading it all, because I could relate SOOOOO much to it.

What my main question here is, has anyone else experienced this from smoking too much pot and then quitting? I know pot is different for everyone. Some people can smoke their entire lives and not feel one bit different, other than they are torched as hell. I am different. I never felt this way until quitting. I quit by choice, just to get a new job, by the way. I am assuming, and hoping to god, that my brain just has a chemical imbalance. I am well aware of the things that marijuana does to your brain's capability of producing natural chemicals. I am hoping that's all my issue is, and according to that disorder, people can experience bits and pieces of the symptoms by having a chemical imbalance. The biggest cause is Cannabis.

If anyone has experienced this, please give me some advice, or at least let me know that this WILL end. I hope that I can someday look back on all of this and laugh, because it was just a dark chapter in my life. But, as of right now, I feel like I am stuck like this forever. I even felt like I was going insane there for a little while. Which, just so happens, to be one of the symptoms of the disorder -- thinking you have a much bigger problem with your brain than you actually do.

Any help would be great.
Thanks in advance.


P.S

I have never tried crack, coke, meth, heroin, or any of that brutal shit. Just pot. So it's not like I am cracked out or anything. Hahah.




EDIT::

I guess I should have specified. When I said that I was addicted to marijuana, I obviously meant MENTALLY addicted. It's obviously impossible to become physically addicted to marijuana.

And as for the psychedelics, I haven't taken mushrooms in months. I have taken mushroom a total of 6 times, throughout about a 3-4 year span. So, I don't know if they are really the cause. Sure, I have had a TOTAL mind-fuck while under the influence of them, but I felt completely normal after a few days of sobering up from them. I have taken acid once, like I said, and it was in October of LAST year. So, again, I doubt any of that has really done this to me. I was even feeling this way towards the last few bags of green, so I know it has something to do with marijuana. I know I probably contribute to it, by over-thinking, but i have always been that way. It's never affected me like this before.


EDIT2:

I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read my post and offer their bits of advice and experiences. It honestly really has helped. I knew the grass community would have their heads on straight. It seems, from what I can tell, that I am simply letting weed still control my life, even though I haven't smoked the stuff in nearly a month. I started getting paranoid/bothered by it towards the last few weeks I was smoking, and I am still letting it get under my skin today. I have always been an obsessive worrier. I can remember feeling that way even as a little kid. I definitely did abuse marijuana. I would smoke before EVERY meal, to the point that food just didn't taste good when I was sober. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I ate myself sick. I don't count calories, but if I were to count them, I bet I was consuming anywhere from 3,500-4,500 PER day. Now, I only gained about 20 pounds during the time period that I was blazing everyday, and I am thankful for that. I was underweight anyway. That's probably the healthiest thing that came from smoking for me, to be honest. I have always worried, and having a drug alter my mind for so long probably didn't help. I would smoke before I went to work or class. I would also before any activities, such as video games or sports. And, of course, I was getting totally blitzed before bed EVERY night. That's just not healthy. I don't care who you are, you need to take things in moderation, and I most definitely didn't.

After reading a lot of the replies on this thread, I have come to realize that it actually IS ME who is making myself feel this way. Sure, the marijuana probably has fucked with my head, but I am the one who keeps manifesting it into something bigger. I recently got in touch with an old friend who is a MASSIVE stoner. He has been smoking all day, every day for the past 4 or 5 years. He grows his own, and it's dank as fuck. He had to quit about two years ago, for court issues, and he specifically told me it took him 2-3 months of sobriety before he even STARTED to feel SOMEWHAT normal again. I guess it's hard to really understand the chemical imbalance of your brain when you're having panic attacks/strange thoughts all day long. It's brutal, really. I hope no one takes pot TOO lightly. Sure, it's not too bad for your body, but it can definitely do a number on your brain if you aren't careful.

So, to anyone who can relate to this thread, whether it just be the regular marijuana withdrawals, or if you think that you're going crazy, like I did (Depersonalization), you're probably just doing it to yourself. After talking to my buddy, as mentioned above, and reading some of your well thought-out replies, it was almost as if I just snapped out of it. I went to bed last night with peace-of-mind for the first time since I quit. Which, like I said, was nearly a month ago. If I can get out of this rut, which I can definitely see myself doing now, then ANYONE can.

I don't plan on quitting marijuana forever, but when I do decide to go back, you can bet your ass it won't be an everyday thing. I think I could manage once or twice a week and be all right.

I want to wish anyone who is having a rough time good luck, and to let them know IT WILL PASS. Feel free to message me if anyone wants/needs to talk. I know that I felt HORRIBLE. I haven't felt this depressed, hopeless and well, lets be honest, just straight up terrified in my entire life. No one deserves to feel that way, and I am willing to help in anyway that I can.

Once again, I appreciate everyone's advice, views and opinions. It really helped a lot.

You can lock this thread now if you'd like.

Take it easy everyone.

 

Weed is different for everyone.
Sure, it's not physically addicting, but you'd be a fool to say it's not mentally addictive. You, yourself, said you smoke herb all day long, because you love your pot. Now, if you didn't smoke all day long, or for a few days, would you not say that you wouldn't feel like yourself? You'd be upset, you'd be irritated, etc. etc. All of these are symptoms of a mental addiction. Your body doesn't want it, but your brain says that it NEEDS it. That's considered a MENTAL ADDICTION. I am sorry I didn't specify, but I figured anyone who smokes pot on a daily basis would immediately know what I meant when I said addiction. It's not like I am getting stomach-twisting pains throughout my body, like a heroin addiction. That's a physical addiction. Totally different.

At the end of the day, you'd be extremely naive to say it's not mentally addictive. And, hey, if you say that you CAN actually say that, more power to you. But, it has been PROVEN time after time that weed IS different for EVERYONE. So, don't try that, "i'm a legit, bad ass, pot smoker," garbage with me. Like it says in the very first few sentences of my thread, "if you don't want to offer some HELPFUL advice, don't even bother reading." I don't want to waste anyone's time, and I sure as hell don't want my time wasted, either.

 

Thanks, I really appreciate you taking the time to throw your story/advice out there. Yeah, I definitely know what you mean when you basically say that you create your paranoia/panic attacks on your own. I have noticed, especially at night, that when my mind is totally clear of other aspects in my life, I definitely start to over-think things. Which, of course, triggers the worry and the panic attacks. I often wish there was just a button you could press that turns your brain off for a second. I mean, it's impossible to just NOT think about something, because then you are thinking about not thinking about whatever it is that's bothering you. So, in the end, you're actually still thinking about it. Haha, that's a mind-boggeler. Anyway, I have noticed that if I do stay busy throughout my day, I feel completely fine. I still get the spacey feeling every now and then, but it is slowly getting better as time goes by.

I am really trying to avoid getting some sort of anti-depressant, because I just want to feel normal again. I don't want to take anymore drugs, even though I know an anti-depressant is MUCH different than marijuana. I don't know, I just feel so fogged up as it is, putting more garbage into my body just sounds terrible.

 

Oh, and as far as my 'dark days' go, I am referring to how I feel RIGHT NOW. I absolutely loved smoking. Some of the best times of my life were while blazing with my friends. I smoked for over a year, obviously the city IS the place for me. Just because it's starting to affect me in a negative way, doesn't mean I suddenly shouldn't be talking or browsing weed websites. I am looking for help/advice, not new ways to toke up, or smoking accessories. There's more to marijuana websites than just talking about the good sides of smoking.. you know that, right?

 

Nah dude, that doesn't sound mushy. It's actually really great advice. I am a huge animal lover, and I find when I am spending time with my dogs, I do feel some peace-of-mind. It's just, as you know, quitting weed comes with a TON of irritation. I get irritated extremely easily now, so I try and avoid a lot of human contact. My girlfriend is actually pretty foul about it, to be honest. But, it's either spend as little time with her as possible until I start to completely recover, or hang out with her everyday and be at each other's throats for no reason. I'll pick the first option. Haha.

 

Thanks, I appreciate the advice. I just live in a somewhat small town. So, if I want to see a doctor who actually knows what they are doing, I have to travel a decent distance. I went to a local doctor here in my town, but they simply ignored me when I said I was marijuana detoxing, and told me my blood pressure was high. My blood pressure has NEVER been high in the past. I firmly believe that the only reason it's high right now, is because of these panic attacks. I told them all of this, but she seemed to shrug it off. Now, I am on a medication called Clonidine. I am not sure if you have heard it, but it's supposed to help with like, hardcore drug addictions, even though it's not FDA approved. It also helps with lowering your blood pressure, but i've noticed that if I take an entire pill, it makes me feel even MORE spacey. I have actually had quite a few panic attacks BECAUSE of this medicine. It seems like the doctor I went to was under the assumption that I was struggling with quitting, but that's not the case at all. I actually found it rather easy to stop. Cold turkey, even.

 

I appreciate you taking the time to point me in the right direction, but that's much easier said than done. I have recently picked up exercising/drinking anti-oxidant style drinks, so hopefully that helps.

Take care.