Who does a goblin go out with on Halloween? His ghoul friend! What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist? He was repossessed! Why did the vampire need mouthwash? He had bat breath! Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep? Because of his coffin! What haunts your house and clucks? A poultry-gheist! How do ghosts begin letters? "Tomb it may concern..." Why did the ghost cross the road? To get to "The Other Side"! What is a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangsgiving. What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? Mas-scare-a. Why does a witch ride a broom? Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord. Why was the mummy so tense? Because he was all wound up. Why don't ghosts have bands? They get booooooooooed. How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire? So long sucker! What did Dracula say after reading all these jokes? They suck! Why couldn't the Skeleton go skydiving? He didnt' have the guts. What instrument does a skeleton play? The Trom-Bone. Why did the Skeleton cross the road? To get to the Body Shop! What do you call a stupid skeleton? Bone head How does a skeleton open doors? With a skeleton key. Why didn't the ghost enjoy the party? He had no body to dance with! What does a ghoul shop for? Grosseries! Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test? To see if she was his type. Whom did the ghoul invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up! Why do ghosts go to bars? For the boos! Why did the ghoul go to the cafeteria for dinner? He heard children were half price. Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because people are dying to get in. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? He didn't have a haunting license. How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes! What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost? Don't spook until you're spoken to! Why do vampires drink blood? Because coffee keeps them up all day. What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer! Why don't mummies take vacations? They're afraid they'll relax and unwind! What kind of street does a ghost live on? A dead end! What do you call a little monster's parents? Mummy and Deady. What's it like to be kissed by a vampire? It's a pain in the neck. What is a vampire's least favorite food? Steak. What do they teach in witching school? Spelling.