I have a fairly shitty, yet funny (to you probably) story that I feel the need to share. One, again, because it is silly.... and two, to make sure you guys never do it. So. I have had the same girlfriend (somewhat on and off) since my last year of middle school (Nov. '08 was 10 years). One of the main reasons we took time off was because we both kept banging other people. I live on the CT coast (eastern, coastal Fairfield County) and she was at UCONN in Storrs (1+ hour away). During this time (she graduated a few years ago) we eventually began sleeping with other people dispite each other. Eventually, after I cleaned shit up and she left the Devil (listen High schoolers... IT WON'T WORK!!! GET OUT NOW!! DON'T TRY TO KEEP IT ALIVE AT COLLEGE!!!!!) and things became better than ever. So now, obviously, any indiscretions are bad news. Especially since we both sat down, listed who we slept with, and promised each other it was done. We moved back in together (had an apt in HS) and shit was cool...... until.... I had to be quite a moron. Two nights ago I was at the bar with my buddy, and.... lordy. If I believed in god I would have to say he put these girls down the bar from me. Lights go on, 'Hey, lets go to my place and get baked!'. So, we go. My GF is out of town so I had the place to myself. So, yea. Things happen, she busts out a condom, and yea. I easily could have gotten away with it... but that isn't the point (shouldn't have done it at all!). I was stupid. The condom the girl had was grape flavored (I don't care for specialty condoms...but it if covers a shlong who cares, right?). So, then next early afternoon, my GF comes home. I'm still sleeping, with grape flavored fuck on my johnson. So what does she do?? Goes right for it. Of course, I had forgotten about the flavoring and I was all for it. Seconds later.. SLAP!! 'YOUR DICK TASTES LIKE GRAPE!' Man. Pay attention guys. I'm gonna be diggin my ass out of this shit pile for a while. -MoJo-
Oh Jesus Fuck. Now thats a story. Could you have said you just wanted to have a pull, but used some grape flavoured lube? Ah shit mate, thats a pickle. I lolled at the grape flavored fuck though. There is a lesson to be made out of this though. Dont leave the house. Thanks for posting bro.
say you fucked a grape. you have serious issiues with food-sexuality. you need help. itll totally work
just say you jerked off into a condom cause she wasn't around. Lol it's funny how you didn't even clean up after fuckin this other chick.
Haha once a cheat always a cheat... I'm sure she fucked someone else too when she was out of town, so don't feel guilty
First off.... yes, we did take cheating rather lightly. Mostly because it wasn't just one of us, and we have been know to swing from time to time . NOw is a whole different story. I thought about the jerking off into a condom thing, but I don't think she'd buy it. The chick let herself out and I just fell asleep... so no cleaning. The weird thing is that I'm not thaaat upset. I mean, I am. But I have been getting the marrige bullshit over the last 2 months and I am NOT ready to get married. Maybe more time off, or no time at all is the key. 10 years is a looooong time. Especially when your only 23. I'm going to have to play this one by ear. Now this chick from the bar is calling me to hang out. I knew that shit was gonna happen. Can't people have a classic one-nighter anymore???!!!???