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OFFF Joke

Discussion in 'Seasoned Marijuana Users' started by Big Poppa Puff, Jun 4, 2002.

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  1. #1 Big Poppa Puff, Jun 4, 2002
    Budhead Cowboy and Smokinokie decided to pay old BPP a visit oone weekend so they loaded up in Bud's vehicle and headed South. Shortly after passing into Alabama, a sneaky gray car with one big blue light on top pulled up behind them. Seeing that it was a State Trooper, they quickly cleaned up and pulled over to the side.

    The trooper walked alongside Bud's vehicle and politely tapped on the window. Bud rolled the window and said "Yes officer, was I speeding or something?"

    The Trooper pulled out his well worn night stick and hit Bud Head on his bald spot. "POW"

    "What the hell was that for??" Bud asked as he rubbed the old knot that swelled up on his noggin.

    "Your in Alabama now son!" said the Trooper "When you get pulled over in this State, you had better have that license, registration, and insurance ready for that officer"

    "I'm sorry" mumbled Bud as he rummaged through his wallet.

    The trooper went back to his cruiser and ran the plates. After everything ran smoothly, the trooper walked back to Buds vehicle he approached the passenger side.

    He asked both Smoky and Cowboy to roll down their windoes. The trooper then struck both Cowboy and Smoky on thir heads with the night stick as well.

    "Holy shit officer, what was that for?" cried out both of our heroes while also rubbing their fresh lumps.

    "That was to make you wish come true,boys!" stated the officer while he patted his night stick.

    "Wish, what wish?"

    The trooper replied " A couple of miles on down the road you two boys are going to say to your buddy driving 'I wish that son-of-a-bitch would have tried to hit me on the side of the head.' "
     
  2. #2 cowboysaxman, Jun 4, 2002
    Lmao!!!

    Very typical of Southern Law Enforcement,lol. One of the first thing I tell guests, is the only acceptable response to an Officer's questions Is "Yes Sir" and "No Sir"!! Any other response is likely to get you in trouble!!! Funny how they can change from "Good Ole' Boys" to MEAN rednecks in the blink of an eye!!!!! :D
     
  3. #3 RMJL, Jun 4, 2002
    That was way too funny for my high ass!!! I have tears runnin' down my face from laughing.

    Not exactly what you call southern hospitality, huh?

    I lived in Mississippi for about 7 years and I have friends and family there. The law enforcement in the Delta is that from an old western. They do whatever they want.

    I had a brand new radar detector stomped on by one of those son-of-a-bitches when I was 17. I was high(being the reason why I didn't see or hear it going off) and got pulled over for speeding and I just watched him grab it off my dash and stomp on it. He gave me a ticket and told me that I had better not let him catch me driving that fast in his neck of the woods again.

    I had always heard about them doing that but when I witnessed it, I became a believer!
     
  4. #4 Big Poppa Puff, Jun 4, 2002
    My only experience with an Alabama trooper, besides a couple of wrecks and the infamous click-it-or ticket roadblocks, was speeding at 70 in a 55 zone. after I got and we went through the calling your plates in routine, he asked me where the fire was. I thought for just a second and said "hell, officer I was just speeding. Tired and want to get home. He said that was the first honest answer he had ever heard and let me go with a warning.
     
  5. #5 Bud Head, Jun 5, 2002
    LMAO

    That sum-bitch better get his ass checked!! He needs to have mt foot removed from it!!!!

    Court room.

    Judge---Officer why did he put his foot up your ass?

    Officer--- U honor that MF caught me off guard. I was just trying to do my job!

    Bud Head in back ground in a calm smooth voice--BULLLSHITTT. owtta kicked you ass up between ya shoulders like ya needed.

    Judge-- Bud Head why do you feel that way?/

    Bud Head-- Look at what that sum--bitch did to my head!!!!! I haven't never met this sum-bitch in my life! I divorced my ex to get outta being hit all thew time!!!!! I couldn't divorce this sum bitch!!!

    Now ya know the story!
     
  6. #6 smokinokie, Jun 5, 2002
    YA BUNCH A GODDAMN BANJO PICKIN, GOAT LOVIN, SUMBITCHES, WITH UGLY KIDS THAT HAVE REALLY LARGE FOREHEADS, WHADDYA MEAN I GOTTA BUY A FREEKIN NIGHTSTICK???!!! AIN'T MY FAULT THAT DUMBASS SMOKEY BEAR HAT WEARIN JETHRO TYPE DID'NT KNOW THAT YOU NEVER HIT AN OKIE IN THE HEAD!!! IF YA WANNA REALLY HURT US.......YOU KICK OUR DOG!








    BBP promises to bring Smokin some cigs while he's out on "the farm."


    Smokin wonders if he'll get one of them really cool orange vests to wear while he's out pickin up trash along the interstate.
     
  7. #7 cowboysaxman, Jun 5, 2002
    I'm not sure if the jails are as bad where ya'll are, But round here I'm "walkin' the line" due to one word.........ANGOLA!! I don't care if they do put on a damn fine Rodeo! lol :smoking:
     
  8. #8 Big Poppa Puff, Jun 5, 2002

    Nope our state inmates wear white jumpsuits with their ID # stencilled in paint on the back. The County inmates wear the orange jump suits, that is until they get caught masterbating or making sexual remarks to the officers, then they get pink jumpsuits.

    But the best dressed award goes to the city inmates. Throwback to to the old days, they get to wear black and white striped jumpsuits.

    Trash pickers wear whatever they got, but we still shackle prisoners together and put them on the roadways cutting weeds with slingblades.
     
  9. #9 420girlie, Nov 13, 2002
    One time on our way back from Canada my dad got pulled over doing 135 in a 90. That cost us quite a pretty penny.
     
  10. #10 Bud Head, Nov 13, 2002
    I have to ROTFLMFAO every time i read this..........

    That sum-bitch better run for his car.. That night stick won't help him from my # 12 foot!!!!!!
     
  11. #11 IGotTheCottons, Nov 16, 2002

    lmao bud head... i'll let you use my size 15 boot if ya want... you can fill the extra space with some socks or something, lol
     
  12. #12 Bud Head, Nov 17, 2002
    A size 15 would be greayt. That way I'd just leave it in his ass.
     
  13. #13 namron_420s, Nov 17, 2002
    i havent been pulled over..or stopped or anything...but i have dropped my truck off in a hole, rolled the jeep, and gotten the truck burried up to both passenger side fenders stuck before...had to wait for the mud to dry to get it out.
     
  14. #14 bud stuffer, Nov 18, 2002
    the cops here are dicks, my pops came to pick me up from school for my b-day and on the way home we got pulled over for a cracked windshield and a noisy muffler, got a ticket because he couldn't find his insurance card. they also responded to a noise violation at a house party, they saw that there were hundreds of people there and called in a riot, there ended up being twelve cars there by the end. the owners of the house were being resonable and cooperating, they ended up getting maced, cuffed, and thrown into the yard, anyone that questioned what the cops were doing got the same treatment. the next day there were twenty people at the cop shop that had been violated or were there as witnesses. i don't think the whole thing has been resolved yet.
     
  15. #15 namron_420s, Nov 18, 2002
    *runs around naked*
     
  16. #16 Bud Head, Nov 19, 2002
    *hopes not to see*
     
  17. #17 namron_420s, Nov 19, 2002
    *trips over dick*




    ..........




    *puts on thong*







    ..................









    *sigh of relief*







    and thus is the way it shall be until the end of TIME!
     
  18. #18 Bud Head, Nov 20, 2002
    * Damnit*
     
  19. #19 namron_420s, Nov 20, 2002
    *whistles...:D*
     
  20. #20 420girlie, Nov 20, 2002
    Damnit Norm, I thought I told you not to wear my underwear anymore you stretch it all out ;)
     
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