Offensive! Do not read!

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by smokinokie, Apr 12, 2003.




    POO STORY #1
    Back in my drilling rig days we worked all night, 12 hours on the rig, lighting up the area with 4 sodium lights, making hole. It was a small rig so it only took 3 of us to run it. Of course the driller had a black lab he always brought to the rig with us. Her name was Shiloh. She was a good 'un. One night, about 3:00 in the morning, I was laying on a bench in the doghouse,(a small trailer, our shelter against the elements when not busy) when the driller hollared at me to watch the rig cause he had to be like a bear and shit in the woods. Shiloh started to go with him but he made her stay. She had a rolling problem if ya know what I mean. The worse it smelled, the more she liked to roll in it. She laid down in the doghouse, while I went out on the drill platform and watched dials. About 10 minutes later, the driller re-emerged from the woods, looking refreshed. I went back into the doghouse and laid back on the bench still about 30 minutes from having to REALLY go to work. After a bit I felt Shiloh come and rub up against the leg of my coveralls, I reached down and gave her a big stroke on the head, and then screamed! She had slipped off and found the drillers bizness in the woods and had a mighty roll. It was still warm and I immediately knew that the driller had eaten corn within the last 16 hours! ACK! I've not come out of coveralls faster when I've been on fire!

    POO STORY #2

    While working still in the oilfield, for alky's this time. They could be some of the funniest, scariest, and just down right mean folks you could ever wanna turn a tap for. They had this other guy, we shall call him Crash, that did a lot of sub-contract work for them. Crash had a couple of Lousiana hippy dudes that worked for him. Crash sweated profusely. He was always wiping his face with a red shoprag. One day I was on a wellsite with the hippies. Crash was'nt around, so we burned one and they had some moonshine they was drinking. They'd made it themselves. Tasted like gasoline. I did'nt join them in a drink. One of them complained about how he always had to go take a shit when he drank the stuff. So he looked for something to take care of the personal hygene part of taking a shit. Finding nothing, he got in Crash's truck and took one his face wiping red shop rags. I'd assumed he was going to throw it away when he was done, but no, I see him come up out of the woods, folding the rag neatly, and smiling while he put's it back in Crash's truck, on top of his face wiping red shop rag pile. Crash showed up in a truck with another guy about the time I was leaving. I positioned myself for a fast getaway and yet still had a good vantage point. Sure e'nuff, Crash went straight to his truck and grabbed a face wiping red shop rag. And promptly gave himself a brown racing stripe across his forehead. The hippies were laughing and it did'nt take Crash long to figure out what had happened. I saw him take off chasing the hippees who had a good headstart. I pretended not to see what happened, and left, because I knew Crash carried a gun under the seat and it was'nt beyond him to take a pot shot at a hippee every once in awhile.

    Whaddya griping about?

    I told ya not to read it!
  2. as usual, you got me LMAO... too good, Okie!!!!!!
  3. A quick one .l had taken all the local kids on an overnight on the horses.During the night l had to get up for a piss,as l,am crawling out of the tent in the dark my fingers touch something ?? Felt like shit...Smells like shit,be fucked if l was gonna taste it to be sure .Seems one of the kids was to scared to go further away from the tent in the,now, not then.
  4. okay, scenario:

    you're walking down the street and you come across what seems to be a big gob of steaming dog poo with a joint sticking out, it seems to be good bud but dooky juices have started to soak through the paper. Now the question is; who do you sell it to?

  5. too too funny.....
    *ill save ya the story how i just had ta run to the bathroom cause i was laughin so hard*
  6. Way too much imformation there my friend .lol:D.
  7. coulda told ya toldya the whooole story :D
    so now see that wasnt
    so bad.

  8. hahahahah good times.... damn reverse psychology
  9. :D :D

    I miss ya 'Okie...

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