O.F.F.F. style "Barbie"

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by cowboysaxman, May 20, 2002.


    1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens
    fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck
    chain, and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart

    2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her
    face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on
    her forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.

    3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see
    her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and
    magnifying mirror.

    4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
    new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front,
    two-MuMus with tummy-support panels are included.

    5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels
    have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched
    feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters,
    then slip on soft terry mules.

    6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and
    lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's
    own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

    7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is
    really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school
    megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in
    robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes
    and fruit punch.

    8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs
    a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the
    doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new
    red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B.
    Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

    9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house,
    Ken's car, and Ken's boat.

    10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up
    with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead
    of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings
    religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a
    six-pack of Diet Coke.

    11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when
    she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot.
    She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching
    the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends
    and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In
    Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.
  2. Lmao poor barbie....


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