now&then

what is the meaning of life? why are we here? does life signify anything, does it have a purpose? I dont know if I can answer these questions and i dont know if i should even try for the past few years i have been following the path of apathy finding strength in ignorance in order to avoid these questions that drag me towards insanity. when I do face up to these the most vital questions pertaining to the human race i invariably come to the conclusion that life is pointless, without purpose or meaning. A stupid story without a theme or moral, signifying nothing. these cannot be safe thoughts.

down through the ages philosophers have come to their own conclusions on the meaning of life. some ideas are corny, some stupid, some contain a glimpse of truth, but, most importantly, none seem to agree with each other. socrates believed that the only purpose in life was to be happy, by doing one's duty and finding the greatest good. The epicureans said that we must find a perfect balance in order to give our lives meaning. Christian religion went for the easy answer claiming that the reason we should do good is not because of meaning or purpose in this life but because we must work to enter the kingdom of god. while eastern religions such as hinduism were preaching that the reason for our existence is to climb the ladder to perfect 'oneness' with god, and that we will be continually re-incarnated until we reach that ideal. all these theories are trying to lead us to a similar conclusion, namely that it is not just there, but has a purpose, a meaning and a logic to it.

but personally, I cant find any such meaning to life, any reason for being, any answer to the question posed by existence. Education has been the only substance of my existence so far. but what has been the point of it all? to be filled full with facts in order to vomit them back up again in death? is this what i endured all those classes for? classes that seemed to last hours, days, months, a constant circus ride with me as the dizzy passenger. learning nothing but the word "eternity" not even on a shallow level can i find any real meaning to this façet of my life. it all seems so illogical irrelevant and purposeless.

when i look at the world around me, my view is backed up by many examples. The history of the world is a history of famine, war and death. The lives of those that died in the crusades, in the wars, world war 1 world war 2 the korean war, vietnam, northern ireland, and bosnia, and that list is only a scattered collection of a few examples of all the wars in the past thousand years. neither can i find any point to the lives of those that died because of a famine in ireland, in somalia, in ethiopia, and in many other countries, especially when i consider the wealth and comfort of others who stuffed themselves full of food and fed their dogs while these people starved.

think of the typical life of a person living in the western world at the moment. They are born, are educated, get a job, find a partner, have a family, make enough money to stave off discomfort, live the constant struggle of existence, get old, weak and sad, and then die. but its the plight that brought the tears from my eyes. what really depressed me was that the plight echoes so many wasted lives, all the same.

man killing man people starving while others watch, rape death it all seems so illogical so pointless. life must be the complete stupidity of existence itself. therefore we need to create artificial meaning to prop up our petty lives. we depend on religion, which answers our questions by referring to another world that may or may not exist but provides a reason for being. some people survive through apathy and conformity, following the herd, drifting along in a state of semi-somnambulance (sleepwalk), not asking these questions, donating an artificial meaning to life and sometimes giving an escape route from this idiotic "tale". suicide is the most emphatic statement of lifes pointless, meaningless trail.

the only purpose of existence left is life for lifes sake accepting that we exist and that therefore we ought to make the most of it. Seize the day reach for the stars eat the peach and all those other clichés adorned by optimists. we must ignore the fact that when we are dead nothing will ever have mattered (a theory beyond my powers of explanation implied by the belief of philosophers that existence is a subjective thing with reality residing in our individual minds). it is vital for our own mental stability and sanity. we must invent a moral a theme if none already exists