Hey fellow blades. Long time lurker here (not so much of a poster). I just want to get a few opinions on the situation I'm in with my girlfriend. A little background: I'm 20, she's 20 and has a 3 year old son. We've been dating for about a month and a half and I can honestly say I love her. Every minute we spend together is magical. All mushy-ness aside, I do love her, and that's a fact. Now here's where the situation comes to hand. Her son's father really doesn't see him that much. Every other weekend or so. And for the past few weeks, her son has been calling me "baby daddy". I took it as a joke at first and thought it was cute. But for the past few days, he's just been calling me daddy and it's kind of freaking me out. I honestly don't know why. I mean I treat him like he was my own, but to actually have a kid call me daddy and look at me in that way is really freaking me out.. Any suggestions?
Hmmm. Do you know if your girlfriend has said anything to her son about this? Maybe accidentally referring to you as 'daddy' in front of him or something like that? It seems a bit full on if you've only been together a month and a half and it wouldn't be fair on the kid if she's telling him to call you 'daddy'. I would say talk to her about it, you don't know how this is going to work out cause it's just early days yet, and if he's calling you daddy and you break up it's not going to feel good for him.
That's what I'm worried about. I love her to death and the thought of breaking up with her isn't even in my head, but I've learned the hard way in life that ANYTHING can happen and if the time does come to where we have to go our separate ways, I don't want it to be traumatizing to the kid.
I have a one year old daughter so if I was to get with someone, I wouldn't introduce them to my kid, not even once, until I'm sure it's for real. I mean, when did you first meet her son? Was it quite early on? Please don't think I'm disrespecting her parenting or anything but he really shouldn't be calling you daddy unless it's his choice and you've been together for a while.
I don't think you're disrespecting her parenting, no worries. I came here for honest opinions and that's what I expect. Yeah I met her son early on, but that was partly my doing as I invited them both to a local county fair. And she has never once called me daddy, or baby daddy. Me and my girl have been talking about it because she's freaked out by it too. She thinks it's because her boyfriends after her and her son's father broke up have never been as serious with her son as I am. I'm not gonna lie, I love the kid and treat him as if he was my own. They even stayed at my house for 4 days a few weeks ago and I cooked breakfast, lunch, dinner, took him to a few local parks, etc etc. But we can't figure out why all of the sudden he's calling me daddy.
I don't think you mind that much cuz if you did you would have made him stop saying daddy. Maybe his mom told him to call you that in order to stay who knows
Well you sound like a dad to me, he's just picked up on that. So you don't want him to call you daddy? And she's freaked out about it too? The only thing I could think of doing next is talking to the little man himself and get his angle on things.
Why would she do that to make me stay if I have no intention on breaking up with her? And this just happened last night so I really haven't gotten the chance to talk to him. I don't mind it, it's just a first for me. And she's freaked out because I'm the first person he's called daddy besides his actual father. I'm not gonna lie to you, this kid has some issues. I think it stems from the fact that his dad's fiance is a royal bitch (I'm using that term very lightly, btw).
The fact that he's looking to you as a healthy role model is a big step for him, especially with what you said about his father etc. You should be proud of yourself.
I am. It's just a first for me, and that's probably why I'm weirded out by it. But thanks for the advice, it's really cleared some stuff up for me.