Thanks for the suggestion. But I'm looking at more drastic alternatives. I am feeling drawn to teen challenge. And in SoCal? Sounds nice... Right now it doesn't seem to matter whether or not I'm close to my kids, I hardly see them as it is. Things might change if I go to this program. I'll get off probation, have my driver's lisence back, and have grown so much spiritually by the time it is over.
Okay man well just follow your heart. Job corp would drastically improve your life(hs diploma is solid gold when you need it). I don't know anything about this teen challange but if it helps out a fellow blade then rock on wit it. Oh and I'm in socal, staying in northern OC. Haha what a co-eenk-a-dink
I have a friend who went through Teen Challenge Socal.... He offered to get me in but at the time my pride told him that I was better than that, and I didn't need a program to get my head straight. While I still believe that I don't need to go to a program to get my head straight, because I feel that my head is pretty solid, I could use it as a staging ground for the next chapter of my life.
After smoking a bowl out of the vaporgenie, all I feel like thinking about is the music playing in my ears.
Listening to "While my guitar gently weeps" from the Beatles..... I think wherever I go next I will be damn well sure to find a guitar there. This thought is going to be exactly where my decisions fall back to the main objective. I haven't owned a guitar in a freaking year, I played for 10 years on a fender strat and a washburn acoustic.
I just hope god is nicer to you than he was to me. I have a 3 1/2 yeaar old I haven't seen in years. I can't find her and her mom and cops won't do anything.
I want my vice back. My guitar. The universe will provide. I just need to keep in tune, and feel out the vibrations, to find my guitar.
That's tough, I wonder what the world has in store for us in the future. Who knows what my fate will be.
The thing is, I will be safe from probation in teen challenge, whereas anywhere else they will lock me up for not meeting the requirements. In fact, if I don't do some kind of program that grants me immunity in some way I will inevitably end up back in jail. I cannot seem to gather the resources needed to take a dui highway safety class, get a drug and alcohol evaluation, or pay the fines and costs. They will throw me in jail again, they've done it before. I spent 30 days in the county jail because of this.
The dirt will cover over me and the seasons will change all while the world forgets I ever existed Why was I put here to be tortured like this? All I have is mary j. It's amazing how much things and life gets me down, and the second i take a puff of the mary my perspective immediately makes a 180 for the better. And this one herb, the only thing on this fucked up world that gives me peace is illegal
I'm definitely going through some changes. I can sense the course of my life being drastically altered. I'm being uprooted, and replanted. All things new. That's what they told me when I gave my life to God. I didn't realize they ment it like this. I thought I would become new, but I didn't realize what that took.
So that you can die and then finally live. Be reborn. Made new. I could say a lot of things but I don't know if you would be interested in listening.
It was a rhetrical question. If the god in the bible is real then I am definatley going to hell. I mean, I'm not just a 'didn't accept jesus' kinda person that's going to hell. No, we're talkking death threats to god, challenging god to come down to earth so I can whoop the shit outta him, mocking god, multiple counts of blasphamy, the whole nine yards. ... edit: now after having said that, i would be interested in you telling me more. I made a promise to myself that I will always keep my heart open to new ideas. I don't want to be one of those people who are so tainted by religion that they wouldn't listen to someones story.
I was convinced I was an athiest until about 2 years ago. Catholic school did that to me. I didn't become a christian by rationality and logic. It happened through powerful spiritual experiences. I almost have no choice but to believe, events in my life proved it all to me. You can pm me if you want, Or this thread could go on for a very long time. The things I've experienced didn't come from religion, they came from something greater than that, myself, or anything here in this world.
But how do you get passed the fact that christianity makes no sense? And god obviously doesn't look after his own. I mean look at you, you gave your heart to jesus and your still struggling man. god's not doing anything for you. Everything you achieved(or failed at) in your life is because of you and YOU have the power to drive your life in any direction you want. That's the beauty of atheism, we have ourselves to blame....or congratulate.
I think it's great that you had a spirtual life changing experience. I just think it's a shame that so many people pick up that book and credit it to said spiritual experiences. God is talking to you, I surely do believe it. But I also believe a very evil entity seperate from god has infiltrated this world in the form of Christianity and has you, and millions others confused. edit: I could say alot more but I don't know how I'm rubbing you with my comments. If I'm rubbing you the wrong way let me know and I'll stop posting in this thread.
Also keep in mind if you're not actively trying to convert everyone you come in contact with who's not christian, you're not an ideal christian in gods eyes.
Because believing in it has made me free from my past mistakes, transgressions, falls, shame, guilt, self loathing. I put away logic, logic failed me, I was depressed, shameful. I hated myself. I decided the things I had done were unforgiveable, and that I could never make it right, I could never be a good person. I was the scum of the earth. So I took a leap of faith, I put my hopes in God as possibly the only way out. Isaiah 40:31 says "Hope in the Lord, and He will renew your strength. You will soar on wings like eagles, you will walk and not stumble, you will run and not grow weary." It said HOPE, it didn't say I had to be sure, hope was enough. God knows I wasn't sure, but I took a chance. I made a deal and told him, I will give myself to you, if you just show me that you give a shit about me, because I am worthless. Not more than three days later, I was taken out of my broken home, where I hardly had food, rarely had hot water, or even gas to use the stove, no car, no town, no money, no way out. I was invited to come to a christian transitional house, my brother had just gotten out of jail and went there to get back on his feet. Three days grace? Suddenly I had food, a hot shower, a bed without fleas, and people that cared about my wellbeing. There are things in the bible that seem unreal, but if you look past what seems impossible, you get the message, and it becomes real by showing it's truth in your everyday life. You will read something one day, and the next day something will happen that fulfills one of the many promises you might read about.