Well, around 6 months ago, I got a secure job and a girlfriend, and my life pretty much turned a massive corner. Every aspect of my life changed, which in some aspects was really good. I carried on smoking weed, but my girlfriend slowed me down, and tried to limit me to how much I smoke. I thought this was fair, as she just wanted to spend more time with me. (She's never been interested in toking, btw.) It ended up with her completely stopping me. Don't get me wrong, I love the girl to pieces, and I can see the rest of my life with her, but she said if she ever finds out I'm still toking, she'll leave me. I don't think I could deal with her leaving me, but I've smoked it a few times at parties and stuff, and it made me realise how much I miss it. I've never been 'hooked' on it, as she claims, I've always smoked in tolerance and only to relax at the end of the day. I'm not really sure what to do; Carry on smoking on the odd occasion behind her back, or Come out with it, and whatever happens, happens.
In my opinion if she can just leave like that for such a little reason with no emotional trouble, FUCK THAT BITCH DUMP HER She either loved you for you or she a hoe. Fuck her, dump her. /thread
Tough situation but if she expects you to be done for good and you still love the herb and want to smoke occasionally, that sounds like a ticking timebomb to me.. I have not been in your shoes, but I would like to hope just being honest would be the best thing to do.. wishing you the best man
Or you could just un-brainwash her and show her the real facts and tell her she's been lied to her whole life
Roll a spliff and blow smoke in her face. Jk but seriously, she has to take you as you are. If she doesn't except you now, and is changing you, than it will become worse with time, trust me, I been there with my x not wanting me to smoke ANYTHING. I would have to take showering after smoking and bath in cologne. Never again...
Well, without knowing anything about you or your girl, I can only relate my own experience. I tried something similar about 10 years ago. I had purchased a condo with my then girlfriend. We both had professional corporate type jobs. Her lawyer, me stock broker. From the outside, the perfect couple, making money, living the perfect life. Once we got engaged she decided out of no where that I had to stop toking (which at the time was only a few times per month anyway). I tried it for almost a year. Eventually I started to completely resent the fact that she thought it was OK to, "make," me change. Then I started to just flat out resent her, and the fact that it was OK to go out with her lawyer friends for happy hours and get blitzed (then drive!!!) But smoking in the privacy of my own home was not OK. Resentment led to eventual melt down. I left and got an apartment still not smoking. Met a hot Canadian au pair who was younger than me who smoked. Started smoking again with her, and eventually became a daily toker again. She went back to Canada. Eventually met my wife who also tokes. Bought an awesome house. Quit finance opened my dream business. Traveled to Amsterdam. Started a nice glass collection. Learned to grow. Lived happily ever after. The moral of the story is, had I stayed with the uptight lawyer, I'd be living a sad shadow of what my life could have been. Instead I have my dream life and dream wife. Obviously results may vary but you gotta follow your heart. I'd never make that mistake again. sorry for the novella...
I just educate all people. Once they learn high grade oil can cure cancer and much more, then they may have a different outlook on weed,
I appreciate the advice from everyone, and I understand it's not a situation everyone's been in. I've tried to teach her, but she's been brought up to resent weed. I've told her that if it ever becomes legal in the UK, I'll immediately start smoking again, and under no circumstance can she stop me, which she has agreed to. I think her problem with it is the legal status. I'd never see myself leaving her to start again, I want both. But then again, life isn't that easy.
definitely try and change her view on it. don't go shoving videos and articles in her face or anything. it needs to be a gradual realization. a friend of mine is with a girl who doesn't smoke and doesn't exactly like it, but after he over time opened her up to what weed is really all about, she now lets him have a pretty sophisticated grow set up in their shared room. also, if she would really leave you over the fact you get high with friends when she isn't around, then how much could she really care about you?
I've tried to change her view on it, but I guess there is always more I can do. I think if I explain to her my view on it, she may become more civil about it, as at the minute she just avoids the subject. Appreciate the help
You seem to HAVE to give up something you love, so if i were you id bring up to her what her vice is be it smoking cigs, drinking, shopping too much etc etc and i would just be like well if i have to give this up u have to give that up, ya know compromise. Gurantee as long as you stand your ground shell be cool with the smoking by the end of it
Never thought about it from that perspective; very clever! Definitely something that needs to be experimented with! Appreciate the help
If shes controlling in this aspect, what says she wont be telling you to do other things?? If she wont let you have your personal life shes not worth it
My ex GF always wanted me to stop smoking..she tried for the entire time we dated (1,5 years) All I had to do was make her understand why I smoke & she accepted it...I Loved chilling with my gf when I was Stoned
I'd ditch this chick and move on to someone real. Looks like she's one of those "throw stones in glass houses" types. Why do you need to alter yourself? So she feels like you are good enough for her? And at the same time, she doesn't need to change for you? What the fuck? Why are you giving her all this power over you?
ultimatums are the first indicator you need to get out...shes going to overlook the love you give her simply because you want to get high sometimes? granted it does sound dumb when someone asks why you broke up with your gf and you say...cause i wanted to smoke weed..but its the principle. she should accept you for who you are and grow up and realize its only marijuana. i can understand if she wanted you to stop smoking because it consumed your life and you let it control you which led to negative effects...but that doesnt seem like its the case here
Ive been there before. She wanted to change me but she fell in love with me for who I am. The relationship ended sadly, on good terms unrelated to weed. But trust me. Dont ever ever ever change for a girl.
My girlfriend was just like that. I just started to lie and stuff to her because i wanted to burn. Now she will burn with me because she doesn't want me to lie to her. They learn the hard way
@GanjaEveryDay hey I read your post, I guess my opinion would be for someone who was very anti drugs, before toking myself. I wouldnt tell her till I convinced her the greens good. I mean theres many good factors as there are the bad negative ones society has brainwashed her with. Tell her all the benefits, tumour reducing qualities, the pain killing qualities, apparantly the drug is used for some multipule sclerosis sufferer's. If you girl suffers from cramp or pmt during her time of the month, suggest her trying some, maybe you'll turn her. If she still refuses and says its bad tell her to go google how many people die from weed compared to booze and other non illegal substances. Good luck dude. If shit still falls through there are many girls out there that wouldnt give a shit about the herb.