No Longer Enjoy The Company Of friends.

Discussion in 'General' started by Sunny Jim, Sep 4, 2014.

  1. #1 Sunny Jim, Sep 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 4, 2014
    I find more and more that I no longer enjoy the company of the majority of my friends. My best friend, whom I've known since high school, has turned into a raging, abusive, degenerate alcoholic. My other friends are too depressing to be around; either they've had children and destroyed their relatively young lives, or they've developed addictions, or self destructed in other ways. Most of them seem to have no aspirations, or ambitions of any kind. They're content to languish in our crappy home town until they're old, bitter, and still as poor as they are now. A few weeks ago, a girl who I'd gone to high school with was shot dead by her boyfriend in a double homicide. They had been arguing about drugs. When something like that happens, it might prompt a body to stop for a moment and take inventory, and what I've discovered is wanting. I'd try and meet new people, but I live in a fairly rural clime, and meeting new people can be prohibitively difficult as there aren't many new people to meet. This epiphany has left me with a somewhat depressed, dyspeptic attitude these past weeks, and I haven't done any socializing as a result.
     
     
    Just felt like venting. Hate on me if you feel it will help you.

     
  2. Join the club homie .. I moved from the city and town I lived in all my life to the country further down south of my state 70 miles from my hometown .

    I know a good chunk of people but not to many and really all my friends are spread out within a 35 mile radius (despite my friends from my old town) and really I don't drink often so I won't have that common factor but if I could go to a party I would live it up

    A lot of people I know are far gone on some type of drug or have no type of job or income and it baffles me how can you be over 21 shit how can u b over the age of 18 or out of school and have no job . Goals . Or aspiration to better yourself? It really annoys me that these fuckers don't do a god damn thing not even looking for a job just finding ways to live off people ir their family and finding ways to get high or just to get by day to day ..

    I work at shitty olé walmart and I've recently had interview to get a better paying job to at least move on up .. I haven't had it as easy as some of these fucks but at least I'm not sitting around wasting my life at home .. well I am bcuz im broke a lot between checks but still at least I fuckin work lol

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  3. Go to a rainbow gathering!


    Rainbow family :)
     
  4. I've in a very similar situation. Slowly but surely my circle of "friends" has faded away, we'll not even slowly, pretty rapidly actually. The hard truth is, as humans, we are self-centered. People look out for themselves. My advice/what helped me was realizing that. I started to focus on myself and self-improvement instead of trying to keep appearances together. And who knows? Maybe taking a step (or a couple) back from those people could open a new perspective. Try to stay open minded my friend. Maybe some herb and music alone will get you back to feeling better.
     
  5. I think not all friends last forever, hardly any actually... relationships come and go... sounds to me like you're evolving and looking to pursue better things.
     
    I was in both positions, leaning toward something better cause I was surrounded by negative crap... and being left alone because I turned out to be the negative crap.
     
    Life's hard bruh... but I guess we live and learn, and adjust and handle things the best we can.
     
  6. I have to many friends.god knows how I aqquired some of them.
    Lot of dead wood there, time for a cull I think

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  7. #7 Sunny Jim, Sep 4, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 5, 2014
     
    Most of my friends live in very small towns (think 3-400 people) dispersed over a 25-30 mile radius (it was easier to say "my hometown" than explain the geographic dynamics of the area), so it's actually fairly easy to totally fall through the cracks of the social scene. Some blades have suggested that I focus on improving my life and cut out the negative influences, which I believe I shall do. I'm just ready to move up in life and become a more fully actualized individual, while I feel that most of the people I hang with are regressing. And I don't really give a damn what they think of me at this point. They might accuse me of ditching them, but I see this as an act self preservation. 
     
    Thanks for the moral support, blades.
     
  8. Bros' I feel all of you, it can be a lonely road at times but as long as you are positive and ambitious you will meet new people while being productive in life. I went back to college so I feel great that I am moving forward, and also able to possibly meet good new people, I also joined a gym, it was intimidating first walking in but 2 days later I love it, the people there are full of dedicated hard workers and I get to blow off all the stress and feel great and confident, anyways the main point it DO YOU, don't feel lonely, sad or disappointed, MOVE FORWARD EVEN IF ITS BY YOURSELF, then at the end of the day relax yourself to some chronic and watch a good movie.
    Peace my brothers.
     
  9. I have my two loving, loyal dogs. Their friendship far outshines any friendship I've ever had with people - especially my mostly bitchin, whining, backstabbing peers.
     
  10. one of my best friends of all time {or so i thought} turned into a Dbag of epic proportions. a guy i called brother on many occasions and one whom i never thought would betray me did just that. so i took inventory of this friend and all of the times we had together. i started noticing a pattern with this guy. a pattern that was telling me this guy had been trying to fuck me over pretty much since the day i met him. that is the funny thing about friends, you never know when one stops being a friend until you have been fucked over.
     
    lo and behold, this guy isn't my friend any more. but more then that i realized he never was my friend. that he was just using me and talking shit about me behind my back. trying to hold me back so that it would appear this "friend" was the better man. funny thing though, no matter how many times he set me up for the kill, no matter how many times he fucked me over and no matter how many times he "adjusted" the odds in his favor, i was always the better man. i always came out on top no matter what kind of shit went down.
     
    what i realized is that this "friend" thought i was the lesser man, that it was i who needed him. he thought he was doing me such a big favor. in the end it is I who is the better man. not because i came out on top no matter how this guy chose to treat me as a friend but because i chose him as a friend and took him under my wing. i am the better man because no matter what, i always treated that guy like a friend should.
     
    now that i have him figured out i no longer hang out with him. i no longer give him money {like a loan or grab dinner etc etc}. i no longer stick up for him or make excuses for him. i let him fall on his face now. i let him get buried and offer no succor. i call him once a week every Saturday. i listen to all of his shit, problems and childish banter. it is then i realize that i was the guy who made it. out of all of my friends i am the one who ended up making the finish line. it was never a race against time or a race of who can get the most. it was always a race but one that is only completed on an inner level. you know you have won because you're happy with the person you have become.
     
    i might have lost a friend but i gained heart. sounds like you did too. :metal:
     
  11. Welcome to adult-hood.  :smoking:
     
  12. you only have yourself at the end of the day
     
  13. just do you OG. The people you hang with will really reflect who you are. im with you on this one. i can't hang out with anybody because i just love to get high too much. need to take a couple steps back, analyze what im going to do, and commit. or else we'll just be sitting around doing the same old shit expecting different outcome.you don't need anybody except yourself and the real bunch of friends..............they'll be back
     
  14. a wise lady told me losing friends is part of growing up. you just outgrow people they do the same shit they been doing for years. if you feel better without them then you didnt really need them.
     
  15. I enjoy solitude as well
    Nobody understands you like yourself
    Friends are overrated
     
  16.  
    These are wise words indeed. The difficult thing is, I've always considered myself a very loyal person. I've stuck with the same group of people since high school, and into my young adult years (I'm 22). But as you say, these people do the same thing day in and day out, year after year. To be fair, most of them work. But working a dead end job so that you can buy 2 ounces on a weekly basis is not ambition. I bust my ass day in and day out so that I can work and go to school, and then I look at my friends, and it seems like they're standing still. I try and discuss my classes with them, and they sigh and roll their eyes. They're too preoccupied with their baby mama drama, or pathetically hunting down the next $20 sack. It's like they're on another planet. I don't get mad, because what's the point? I'm just disappointed. Maybe if I had hung around a better crowd back in high school, all of this could have been avoided. I definitely need find a better crowd now. But before I do that, I'm gonna take a break from socializing and prioritize.
     
    A lot of wisdom in this thread.
     
  17. I feel like I'm one of these people everyone wants to get away from. Its hard moving on. I have a girlfriend and we live together. No kids but only one car. I work a job for $7.75 where competing places offer $9 for the same position and my boss is constantly talking about cutting me loose because there's only one car in between the two of us.

    I do enjoy doing things. I write stories all the time (been writing consistently for about 9 years now, but not much to show) and ive been developing slowly with GameMaker and sprite animations. I've even gotten myself into a production doing audio, which is what I went to trade school and some of college for. I'm not moving forward though, if that makes any sense. I don't know what to do or if I just need to time before advancing. Its hard to keep moving, especially when there are more people who are against you. Sometimes there isn't much you really can do.

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  18. #18 Stride420, Sep 11, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 11, 2014
    Maybe they feel the same as you do. Maybe they don't see the ambition that you have and they don't but maybe they think that I don't enjoy seeing this guy anymore... maybe they say "all he wants to do is talk about his classes. He's such a child I'm over here trying to deal with my baby and he's still talking about school."

    Maybe they say that or maybe they don't but the thing is after high school everyone grows into their own lives. That's all that is happening. And like you said, nothing to get mad about just go with the flow. Friends will come and go.
     
  19. #19 Sunny Jim, Sep 11, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 11, 2014
     
    Not to get all defensive, but I just brought up talking about school as an example. I rarely discuss my affairs unless someone asks. I'm really talking about a general communications breakdown. The last time I hung out with my buddy D, I listened to him vent about his gf/child for well over an hour, and when he finally got around to asking me about my day to day, he lost interest in what I was saying after the first sentence (the sighing and the rolling of the eyes). If you don't want to know, then don't ask. It didn't used to be like that. I'm perfectly happy to actively listen to, and give moral support to others, but it seem like I don't get the same in return.
     
    I work too. 30-35 hours a week on top of going to school. I get an hour after coming home from class before I have to get to my job, and then I come home, do homework, and go to sleep. I'm poor, and my life is also difficult. I also realize that school has shit all to do with ambition, but there's definitely more to life than smoking and partying.
     
  20. I am a loner. Every once in a while I fuck up and decide to try to reintroduce myself to society, and then immediately regret it.
    I now make no effort to remember names and faces of people I meet. I often introduce myself to someone out of courtesy only to get a funny look and a "Yeah, I know you. We met at blah blah blah." To which I apologize, only to repeat the same scene a month later.
    Not to give the impression that I'm a hermit. I'm not. I just prefer to operate from inside a bubble. It took a while to realize that its OK to be that way, as society seems to frown on introverts like its a sickness.
     

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