I can not deal with this shit anymore. I dissapoint every one because I can't get a job, people give up on me because I give up on myself. I can't function in society, and I have nothing and no one to lose. I just want a life, but I'm not allowed to have one. My paranoid thoughts surface every time I walk out of the door and go out into the world. I'm so sick of this place. I don't know what to do. If I go into society, I feel paranoid that I'm going to get jumped, because I have been many times in public. If I fucking comment on someones status, I get ridiculed and threatened. I want to fucking die, but I'm scared of death. I'm STUCK.
do YOU! Fuck everyone else, go to a therapist. You'll be suprised how much it can and WILL work! Message me if you want to talk, i have been in the same situation
No offence, man, and not trying to make my problem sound worse than yours - But unless you have been stared down by an entire high school, forced to exit and hated by many because of something they think you did and said.. You have not been in the same situation. That aside, I will message you, I could use some one to talk to.. I don't have shit and I don't know what the FUCK to do. I've been in this situation for four years in January. Slowly just rotting away.
You know what you do? You endure to the end. Stop being so self-centered that you think you're the only person in this world struggling right now. So many people have it so much worse. Keep trying to find a job. Nothing is beneath you; you need a job. Apply for janitorial positions, fast food, EVERYTHING. Got a driver's license? Bread routes and chip routes and what have you are always hiring. Yes, it's hard work, but it's work. You're the only one standing in your way.
As true as this is, I don't think you fully comprehend.. I know that it's excuses, and I don't think I'm the only one in the world that suffers. Do I really sound like that? I apologize. Life itself is suffering, man.. the point is to alleviate the suffering as much as possible.. that is my perspective. That aside.. I still.. don't know how to get out of this. People threaten me at least three-four times a week and have for the past four years. I'm not exaggerating, not lying. I wish I were.
Yeah. They think I wrote negative things on a deceased football players memorial picture. He died of a heat stroke. Did I? No. I was never at school. I've been the target of local bullying since Elementary School. I'm so... tired.
Everyone's felt like this at one point or another. Be strong and get a job. Don't let your ego in the way. Get any job you can and move. Also, quit acting like your situation is the worst that could be. It could always be worse. Count your blessings.
Life can be suffering. Life is not ALWAYS suffering. I've never gotten behind the Buddhist ideal that "life is suffering" because I find that it's not true. Even in your darkest depths, you should be able to find something to be thankful for, even if it's just the food you put into your belly everyday. Without knowing why people think you're such a bad guy, I'm not sure how much help I can be. You need to show these people that you're not such a bad guy. Wallowing in your pity does not do that. Trust me man, my life is not all that golden. I have done some very evil things in my past that I'm still atoning for. The difference is that I turned my life around. I started doing charity work, I actually started following my religion (not saying you need a religion at all, just referencing myself). Once I turned my inward pity into outward action, everything just began falling into place. Are things as good as they could be? Probably not. But why should I worry myself about it when my only job is to make myself a better person today than I was yesterday? Got a UPS or Fed Ex around? They're hiring holiday help right now. I work for Fed Ex just tossing boxes around all day in a warehouse. I get to listen to my music and everything, and get a good workout at the same time! What about Walmart? They too are hiring holiday help. Just get out there man! Nothing is ever going to get better if you don't descend a bit beneath yourself and put yourself out there.
Then you know what? You take solace in the fact that you don't have a guilty conscience and all of these people are such scum that they feel the need to make you the scapegoat. Use the raw emotion you feel from this to better yourself. These high school kids are not standing in the way of you getting a job. You are. If the threats get too bad, go to the fuzz. That's what they're there for
There is a Walmart grocery within walking distance - But I feel like if I get a job there, people will know who I am, and they will tell their friends and I'll get beat up.. Again.
Bro i don't know the full implications of what all has happened, but sometimes just knowing it is in the past helps. Also, we are habitual beings so if you plan on getting out of where you are in hopes for a better life define how you are right now - assess things & know that to feel pathetic and pity for yourselves is exactly what is keeping you where you are... otherwise if you were given a compass it would not help point to which direction you should move on. Hope that helps , man good luck!
So, knowing I get threatened every week - Knowing that I have not the guts to get out there, what advice could you give me? Knowing that.. I've given up?
Your fear is keeping you from bettering your life. Stop living in fear. If you're at work and they come in starting crap, have one of your co-workers call the cops. On the walk home from work, carry something to defend yourself. Even the "manliest" of men are reduced to pussies when sprayed in the eyes with bear mace.
So, if you were getting threatened, you wouldn't let it drag you down? But.. can you imagine how I must feel? Four years of this, keep that in mind...
Get out of your city, man. You're too scared to get a job because you think people are gonna beat you up once they find out who you are/where you work? You clearly need to move away and start over, dude.
I think what I'm getting from what your saying is that you feel things are hopeless - that is a mental state that needs purifying is all i can really say. I understand it may seem vague but help yourself because that is who is responsible for you. Personally I've been there too , best advice i was given is that there is light at the end of the tunnel, you gotta live with hope that things will be better and this is just a phase.. Those allegations can be brushed off -- i would understand your feelings if it was true but honestly you shouldn't burden yourself of a false belief that you are somehow responsible for that - it shouldn't bother you if it isn't true is what I'm saying. Hope that helps.
Yes. I have the oppurtunity to do that, to move to a small town in Indiana.. a historic little town.. But.. God, I'm so fucking conflicted. My parents want to move there because the mortage on this house is failing (inb4 underage because I live with my parents. I'll be nineteen next month.)
2 things to do if your paranoid and depressed 1- carry a blade with u and if anyone tries touching you pull it out and say get the fuck away from me be loud and assertive 2- tell anyone and everyone off that talks down to you + act like your not a pussy if all else fails just find a job a few towns away and move their it takes time to meet people so its best if your constantly doing shit
Yes, very hopeless. Very.. There is very much light at the end of the tunnel, but I can barely see it - And it's so far away. To put it metaphorically - You could say that I'm glued inside the tunnel, being forced to stare at the light as it fades away. It isn't true - What bothers me is their actions. Do note I've been jumped and beat up just for being at MCDONALDS (happened this year).