Ninja Guide (The Midnight Tokers)

(I'm writing about a month in from my tolerance break and for a job interview, so I thought it would be a good time to reflect and share some things that I've learned)

This is a list of tips, tools, and advice for people who need to keep things under the radar, live with roommates that don't appreciate our ways, your 18 and still under your parents roof, or your in a state that frowns about smoking the herb or any other relative situation)

THINGS TO CONSIDER

Noise, smell, and sight. You can only be busted by one of these three things since usually you cant get busted by taste and feel. So keep this in mind when you do things.

If your smoking under your parents roof I highly recommend you either don't smoke (I did it, it's not that hard) or you find secluded areas where you can just sit down and have a pow wow with your closest friends which is mainly what I did (; and recommend for overly paranoid people. (a poll I read somewhere said the majority of people wont call the cops unless your being an ass, but this still doesnt mean its legal.)

Keep track of other peoples patterns. When they get up to the bathroom or are asleep. When they get up ect ect ect. Just know when it's the right time to start..

Know how stinky your weed is! If you got something that smells just when you open it, it will be more so when you smoke it. Some weed smells more like skunk and you might be asked if you smelt it the next morning. That can be both awkward, funny and make you proud. Know the dankness.

TOOLS


Sploof: This is by far the #1 way to keep things off the radar and it can be made cheap (free usually) and in about a minute. What you need is basically anything cylinder (paper towel rolls work best), dryer sheets (about 8-under 20 depending how filtered you think it will need to be) something similar to duct tape. Now grab anywhere for 4-8 dryer sheets and what you want to do is cover one end with the sheets and then tape around it so if you blow on the other end you can feel air through the dryer sheet end. Now you can put as many as you like in it but I suggest only enough so you can still feel air as you blow. This should last you a bare minimum of 2 weeks, then you want to replace the inside sheets then after that 2 weeks throw it all away.

Wicks: Now you may not need these and a lighter will do but sometimes this will save you, for one on flavor, the problem of crack away at it too much and that can raise suspicion. Wicks will need to be lit once and all you have to do is find something that can hold it. And most give off some kind of smell that can double as a weaker incense.

Incense: Now for most of us, we know why people really burn these (unless your "meditating") but usually outside the bubble people wont pay much attention unless it smells like a dog turd. I would suggest having a incense holder (their wooden and have a hole to stick it in [ ;P ] so it doesn't fall and a carved out area for the ash to fall on). Use your own judgement to decide if this will raise suspicion or no one will care. This works great at cover up your smell (note COVER UP, it will only overpower it with it's own smell).

Odor Neutralizers: Now I haven't had a lot of hands on work with this personally but at my girlfriends when we smoked in her room, it worked great after we packed camp and were watching a move. Simply spray it lightly in the room and make sure you have a window open and keep a fan on high for a bit to get it all out. You will have to find something that works best for you, some brands just make worse smell and others will mostly get rid of the dank stank.

The Right Means To an End: Basically, I wouldn't use a bong for being sneaky. You can hear those things pretty far so unless you got some heavy sleepers I would keep this off your pallet as well as joints, blunt spliffs, bubbles and anything that either creates noise or you can't control what burns. Stick to waterless things that will get the job done. If you want to be really fancy. Don't be like me and make a mini-gravity bong, although this did work for me really well except it can be a hassle when I just wanted to be high. So I recommend just a nice pipe.

Eye Drops: This is a given usually. I have 3 bottles. 1 I bought a while ago, 1 larger one that I use mainly and another my eye doctor gave me. You may not need them but if you plan on going back out and mingling I would suggest getting these even for outside of sneaky situations. Nothing says pass the blunt like.

QUARTER!!: This will keep extra smoke form seeping out. All you do is put a quarter over the bowl right after your lips leave the piece. This is optional though because if your good with the above, not much will get away.

That's pretty much all I can think of.. Some things are optional just be sure to know whats appropriate for the situation. Make sure you have your snacks and a some liquid.


ENVIRONMENT

Door: Check your door, I suggest it be closed and put a blanket or a few shirt at the bottom of it if you have a gap there. This will prevent anything from creeping out of the bottom.

Windows: Keep all of them open, if one is by someone else's room then i wouldn't use it unless it is your only option. You'll want these open all night to let air move about.

Fans: Keep your overhead one on if you have it, I suggest investing (if you don't have one) in a window fan. Especially one that blows reverse. Enough said.. Just take note of where it's blowing and sometimes this is only seasonal because (in most places) it is very cold in the winter and seems odd to have on running unless your like me and like it being near freezing when you sleep. Be sure to direct them in the right areas, keep them away from your door and blowing out or what ever works.

Your smoking window: This is the window you will conduct your work at. I would suggest it being near a desk, table, bed, or any where that you can set things on and be right next to the window. Make sure the window is open a hour or so before hand (Don't be like me and forget to open it and have to do it at night while in ninja mode.)

Stash Spot: Now we all (most of us anyways...) have been nearly caught in action, after the fact, before or during. You can't avoid it and there is something helpful to prevent your favorite bong or pipe being taken by the ganja gestapo. Find an area that you can quickly drop your bud, pipe, sometimes bong (depends where, but this will be addressed later) or what ever your weapon of choice is and that will be your get-away car. You may not need to do this but if your 18 and still in your parents house you will want this just in case.

Lights: Not many people think of this but when you have all your lights on. It can be seen form outside usually. I personally have a black light in my lamp and if I don't use that then I have my desk lamp which is a normal bulb. Make sure to keep the lighting low and dim. I would invest in some chili pepper lights.
Overall, just be aware of what you do and it's affects (fact of life?). Be sure to think about what you do before you do it and a possible outcome. Some times it's best not to blast your favorite dubstep on at full blast. Just be aware!!
CLEANING UP


When you finished your quota make sure EVERYTHING is put away. Always scan your room before you clock out or do what ever your doing next. I can't tell you how many times I left fat green nugs just laying around and thanked the ganja gods that they weren't found. I suggest using less things and keeping it simple so you don't lose things and can keep track of it because we all know that it gets hard sometimes.. I kept my stuff in a zip lock bag and I put all that in the pockets of my guitar bag :]

Keep your room organized ( messy but organized, things are easier to spot when organized I learned haha)

TECHNIQUE


Here are some skill tips that you'll want to become efficient with or better yet master even if your not trying to be sneaky.

Burning A Bowl in Sections: Basically, if your torching your whole pot of gold. You'll look like your sending smoke signals to all the other tribes. Not only does this give you extra smoke, but its also waste full, basically what you don't inhale wont get you high right? When you smoke, look at the flame and try and think of a nice juicy key lime pie or what ever you fancy. Think of sticking to one slice. Don't keep it light long. Lift your thumb off the carb hold then use that same thumb (im assuming you have a pipe) and put it over the bowl.

One Hit At A Time: Don't try and take big rips. You'll have the want to cough
and thats not good. Keep it to good size hits and know how much to do at a time.
What I would suggest actually, pack very small bowls and do it that way. This will prevent anything being wasted, no extra smoke floating off into your room. This may take a little more time but you'll get much less excess smoke.

Packing, grinding, scissors: Having a solid cherry will save you from having to relight your bowl again. I mastered this in less then a week and cant light my bowl once and get 3 or 4 big hits before I have to relight it. Most people don't care and will just throw a nug in and smoke it. This not only can end up with you smoking stem but it's just herp derp all over... Do some research and trial runs in different methods. But overall do what you can do best.


CONCLUSION

Be aware. Know how much to risk and when it's best not too. It's late as hell so I'm out... Sorry for any spelling errors or if some words are randomly in sentences. I hope someone finds something in this useful in one way or another...
one love!

 

I forgot to add that at the beginning... Do it if you can!!! Much easier.