Newbie Questions

Hey just some qs. Ive smoked mj for a total of 3 times. Once with friends and the second and third time by myself. The first time was great, it was very enriching and I could feel "waves" flowing in my brain later when i was alone.

The second time, I rolled a really shitty joint coz it was my first time rolling a joint. The first time I smoked one of my friends rolled it. This second time I used half a gram and everything was fine except I basically wasted the marijuana because I didnt roll the joint right and the high wasnt that good. This second time however, I felt a bit anxious like someone was behind me. I'm guessing I felt that way because I was nervous that someone would catch me and realise that I was stoned.

Honestly though, I've realised I can pass sober enough when i'm high. Anyways, now for the third time.

The third time, I had a panic attack where everything went black, I could breathe right and I thought I was gonna die. I had climbed up this hill near where I live. I sat on a tree log and when i smoked, I was slightly tired from the climb and my breathing was a bit heavy. Another thing to note is that i'd seen kangaroos standing to a still, cautiously watching me not any further than 3 metres away from me just a minue before. I also felt a bit anxious that someone would just decide to climb up the hill one day and theyd catch me having a smoke.

I looked back on my 2nd and 3rd time and it seems like each time I smoke the high gets a bit panicky and anxious. Although the 3rd time even though I had the panick attack the high that followed after was beautiful. I smoked the same .5 grams as the last time except I rolled the joint much better than the last time.

I'm nervous to try smoking mj again except I find it really beneficial to my life and ever since I started my life started changing positively. Others have also noticed that i've been acting gold different. I genuinely think that I had the panick attack cause I was worrying too much, I wasnt comfortable and I was already breathing hard so all this caused me to have the panick attack.

I only got out of the panic attack cause I chose to stop having bad thoughts, close my eyes and focus on breathing.

Any advice or recommendations? By the way I have asthma lol.. but all 3 times smoking it hasnt affected my asthma other than a very slight wheeze. I was wheezing a bit after the climb (3rd time). Sorry for the long read...

 

Thanks man you think using a gpen would help? Even though I had a panic attack, the high that followed was beautiful. My vision and hearing senses were enhanced so was my touch.

 

Hey little update on my situation. Since then I've smoked occassionally with not many troubles but I noticed things have been changing. Everytime ive been doing it since the panic attack I've felt like someone was watching me etc.. like I've been seeing shadows and shit and I occassionally see things when sober too. Things have been getting worse like im starting to hear shit when stoned too its all gibberish and last time I heard shit was the last time I smoked. But if I breathe and not focus on it, it mostly goes away at least I think so anyways.

The last time I did it I was just relaxing in bed with my sheets over my head like I usually do and I heard loud thumping like footsteps that just stopped at my bed. It freaked the shit out of me. Then the morning when I woke up for some reason I felt like someone was sleeping next to me like a hand was sliding off my chest when I got up. Maybe a few days later after my last sesh I swear at the corner of my eye I saw this peg move. One time on the bus I was listening to music and I heard a distinct whistling sound from behind me. No one was on the bus either and I dismissed it coz I was listening to music but pretty sure I heard something. I'm always a bit anxious when I do it but I just breathe.

Now look to some of you, you might think some paranormal shit is happening here. Due to me having past experience with paranormal stuff I do believe in it but I'm not yet quite convinced this is paranormal coz I mean I heard those loud thumping footsteps while high so it's not credible. What I'm more concerned about is could this be a mental disorder or something? Because ive started to occassionally see and occassionally I guess also hear (the whistle was the only thing I "heard") things while sober. I feel like each time I do it things are popping up more. When I started I felt nothing, after the panic attack, the time after, I felt like someone was behind me. Now I'm starting to hear stuff and see stuff. The shadows are also clear and outlined.

Tldr: Could seeing and hearing stuff more each time than the previous session when you get stoned, signs of a mental disorder?

 

Hey bro thanks that's what I try to do lol.. relax.. but good to know I can keep toking up. I was a little afraid I'd have to give up haha.