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New Alcohol Warnings?

Discussion in 'Grasscity Forum Humor' started by AmsterdamdreamN, Jan 24, 2004.

  1. Due to product liability litigation, it has been suggested that American liquor manufacturers place these warning labels immediately on all varieties of alcohol.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when your not.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.


    If you haven't heard these before, enjoy! If you have, oops, sorry! If you have any to add, please do!
     
  2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Thor.

    WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an disruption in the space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to "disappear."

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
     
  3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead to thccrystals spilling a lot of beer on himself and others!

    WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause thccrystals to do the 'running man' while singing "go new york, go new york, go" over and over again.

    WARNING: Cnosupmiotn fo alocohl may cusae you to sepll wrose tahn uusal
     

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