Need to vent

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by soapman, Apr 10, 2010.

  1. #1 soapman, Apr 10, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 10, 2010
    There's cliffy's at the bottom :rolleyes:

    Fuck, Fuck, Fuck....I really can't stand my fucking family....ideally my parents...narrowing that down further...my mom. So anyway, I live with my mom. I do it because my parents got divorced when I was 15 and I felt like I had to stay, that by my dad leaving, I felt like it was now my responsibility to make sure that they were gonna be okay. That was a lot of pressure for me to deal with back than and I hated my dad for that for a really long time probably a good 3 or 4 years. I eventually realized that he's my dad, I can't hate him forever and he's also not gonna be around forever, so, I need to get over my drama queen bullshit. Which I did, nut up or shut up, right?

    Anyway that's the short history of it. Now, rewind to yesterday afternoon, when I noticed a water leak. I go to check and turns out it's coming from the water heater. I didn't know what to do, I'm 22 years old and a pot grower and wash cars for a living, I'm no plumber. My dad though, he's MR. Fixxit. I call him up and he tells me to do what I can. I tried a number of things to no success. By the time the last attempt failed, it was kinda too late to go to a store and buy stuff to fix. Basically the water had to be shut off through out the night. My mom, she's not really the most helpful person, she tries, she does try, I'll give her that. Anyway she's running around the house like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to figure something out. She's not very smart either, I hate to say it but she's very very very ignorant and dumb. I really to hate to say that about her, but better to you guys than her, right? I knew that I needed to drain the water heater to stop the water from leaking, so I'm trying to work on that. She goes and gets our neighbor, he's old and kinda worthless nowadays to be honest, so his son comes over instead, and he seemed like a real winner:devious:. Anyway he spends about half hour trying to figure something out, when he turns around and says, "I think we need to drain the water heater." At this point I am fucking pissed, just cause that was such a waste of time. I almost told him to go home and I'd deal with the problem. So now my mom is frantically trying to do something, but again, she has no idea about much of anything.

    So, my dad finally arrives with my other neighbor who just got home as well. He's actually a independent contractor, so he works with crap like this all the time. My dad well, he's just pretty good a fixxing broken things. So I'm pretty much breathing a big sigh of relief, like :hello: yay, I have real solid help here now, so I can deal with this. Finally. I was happy again. Well, just like clock work, my dad shows up to HELP! He was here to help the problem and my mom storms off in her pissy little mood because she is still really angry at him for leaving. It's probably been 8 years now. I partly think she's just pissed because she has to work and she can't sit on her ass all day watching TV. Oh wait. She does that anyway. Literally I have videos of it. [I have like 12hrs of tapes of her just not leaving the couch or moving her eyes from the tv.] Anyway, so now my mom is in her mood and when she is in that mood. You DO NOT say a word or look at her. Anybody that can read emotions would be able to tell.

    I'm pretty pissed again at this point, because she starts telling me about more problems in the house. I stopped her and said, "whoa, one at a time, I'll deal with this later." And she starts to lecture me about how since my dad isn't around anymore we have to work as a team. I just left, I was so dumbfounded that I just had to not be around her aura of retardation (again, kills me to say.) Well, she didn't do a single thing to help the situation, just like how she doesn't do a single thing around the house. Her idea of "team work" is making me do everything that has to be done around the house, so she can come home and bitch at me about shit I really dont' give a flying fuck about, and than sit on the couch and watch tv the rest of the night. She basically has it in her head that I'm pretty much like how my dad was when he was here. Mind you, she didn't bitch about work to my dad it was actually the other way around completely.

    I guess I'm just really pissed because I can't stand living with her, I really can't. I, just right now, really can't stand her. I've lived on my own before, but even then she was having me fix so much stuff for her around the house that I was spending more time there than I was at my own place. I just opted to save on the rent and move back home for a while. But now, I feel like a prisoner cause I feel like I can't leave her here with my sister, my mom doesn't really show signs of being able to take care of her environment very well, dishes pile up, house is filthy, dog is left without grooming for months, no food or anything in pantry or fridge. It's pathetic.

    If my sister would just say she wanted to go live with my dad, I'd be gone. And once again, I hate to say it, my mom is gonna sink or swim. I think if she just got over being so angry with my dad she'd be okay again, like she used to be, happy I guess. But everytime I talk to her about it, it just turns into an arguement, infact pretty much anytime I talk to my mom it turns into an argument. Lately I just agree with her and it's okay. But still gay. I don't think she understands that I have my own mind, but she wants me and my sister to be on her 'side' well, me and my sister were never on any sides. And she was the one makinng us choose, my dad never pressured us to take sides, even when I was still angry at him, he took it...he took it, because, he knew he had to, he made a mistake and he knew there would be consequences to them. I honestly just realized that while writing this. My mom, never had to go through that, like he did, yet she still holds a lot of anger towards him. I guess I understand, I just really think for the better of her life, she needs to find a way to deal with it or better yet just get the fuck over it. I have to lie to my mom when I go over to my dads to just hang out. I like to hang out with my dad, he's a pretty cool guy, smokes weed, drinks beer, has great music, and a wii with a killer home theatre setup. He's a single guy, so his house is awesome, always good food all the time, and better yet, clean. I don't mind cleaning the house, but when I have to do it everytime even when I come home from work, it starts to get a little old.

    Me and my dad managed to fix the water heater fo goo now.

    Anyway I'm done venting, if you read all that. WOW!:hello::hello::hello:, cause honestly I wouldn't have. That is an uber long post.

    cliff notes:
    weater heater leaked
    I didn't know how to fix
    dad shows up to help me
    mom get pissed ruins everybodies mood, as usual.
    mom sucks
    me and my dad fix water heater
    mom still pissed, no make happy, I've given up, and I'm seeing why my dad too.
     
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  2. Ya i can kind of relate man, my parents are divorced and my mom HATES my dad but my dad still wants to be friends with her and still cares about her. Its really fucking annoying. I dont fucking get how someone could be so pissed at someone who still cares about them. Like seriously sometimes i just wanna yell what i just said to my mom but ehh i wont. Its sad seeing my mom go from loving my dad to being a total prick to him. It really pisses me off a bunch. And just some of the things my mom says like "I think the divorced messed you up in the head!" (not having a father around and all) and im just like "uhhhhhhhhh what? I feel fine haha." Ugh sorry for jacking your thread just had to rant a little as well.
     
  3. That sounds rough. I can only relate insofar as my parents got divorced when I was 10, but for the most part my parents approached the whole situation with a maturity rarely seen in divorces. My mother, too, worked/works incredibly hard to give my brother and I access to as many opportunities as possible.

    Although we have different backgrounds, on the subject of your mother dealing with the divorce, I think you need to just sit down and have a long, serious, respectful conversation. Think about how your mother may be feeling; tell her that you appreciate the fact that there's a lot more responsibility on her shoulders without your father around and that you understand how stressful that can be (that's probably why she enjoys her escapes into boob-tube land so frequently). Explain to her how you're there to support her and your sister, but that in order for you to help her she needs to help you; list the things she needs to change, in your eyes, but attempt to do it without bashing her... I think a talk like that would go a long way in changing things for the better.

    Well, that's my $.02 ha ha :smoking:
     
  4. [I have like 12hrs of tapes of her just not leaving the couch or moving her eyes from the tv.] why u film your mother.. just out of curiosity?
     

  5. haha i was thinking the same thing...


    but OP she is still your mom family is family so nut up or shut up.....
     
  6. I kinda got some stuff like that going on with my parents as well man, so I feel your pain. Especially since I just moved back in with my mom and stepdad to save money as well after living on my own for the last 2 years. It's rough, but you just got to get through every day and keep on living man. Don't let it get to you, just let it go and work towards a solution to the problem. That's about all I can say.
     
  7. #7 soapman, Apr 11, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 11, 2010


    Because I wanted to see what she did on her days off from work. I actually like leave the house and go out and do stuff, walk the dog, ride my bike, hang out with friends. Every time I came home on the weekends nothing is ever done, bathroom = dirty ass mess. Kitchen = disgusting. It's just wrong for people to do so much of nothing I think. Anyway I did it so I could show her what she does. I thought maybe it would motivate her to do things with her life...nope...I was wrong.

    I wish she would just grow the fuck up and get over her bullshit. She hasn't even thanked me for fixxing that water heater yet. Can't say I'm surprised.




    Dude, I totally understand that. My mom is always trying to tell me that I'm fucked up from the divorce. She just isn't taking responsibility for herself anymore. I can tell she's depressed, she gets so angry over the smallest things, well, she kinda always has. I dunno she just needs to figure shit out.
     
  8. We have all got our problems. Sorry your facing some right now though
     
  9. Sounds like you need to get some family counseling, that way you could tell her the way you feel with an objective "referee".
    But from the way you describe her i'm sure she would balk at that.:(
    Do you talk to your Dad about this stuff? How doe your sis feel?
    When you come in and the house is a wreck, ask her "Mom how would you feel if (insert whatever name might embarass her,ie Grandmom,Aunt,etc) saw our house like this?:eek:

    +rep for doing the very best you can, sounds like you've got it tough.
    Best of luck in however you decide to handle it:smoking:
     
  10. That's just it, she doesn't have anybody. Some how she managed to push every single friend she's had out of her life in one or another. She's all pissed off at her mom (my grandma) for something, I don't know what that is about.

    I talk to my dad about it sometimes, he just doesn't really say anything, which is probably a good thing I suppose. My sister tries not to involve herself in situations like this. But she listens to me bitch about so that's cool.
     

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