I guess I don't really need a reply to this, I'm just sort of venting--it probably won't make much sense anyway. I've been feeling so lonely lately. Out of all of my old best friends I used to smoke with, let's go down the list of why I can't/don't hang out with them anymore. N--He's in jail, so I can't smoke with him. Haven't seen him since January, and I miss him terribly. Hopefully I'll get to visit him on Saturday, though. H--Has a baby girl, but she's a terrible mother and she treated my friend N(the father) very badly. I don't feel like we have anything in common anymore, and every time I see her I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut about her parenting. Not to say I'm a stellar parent, but damn! She won't breastfeed just so she could go out partying and stick her daughter (who is only 5.5 months old) with her mother. She started putting cereal in her daughter's bottle at 1 month WTF? Even after I sent her links about how harmful that is and why you shouldn't do it. And here I am trying so hard to be a good mother, and H just doesn't seem to care about her daughter at all. T--Also has a baby girl, but we got into a fight back in Fall 2003 over some really stupid shit. We're talking again, but it's just not the same. There's an akwardness there that wasn't there before. Our kids are almost the same age, though. Trent(my son) is only two weeks older than T's daughter. C--I don't even know what's going on with her. I live about 45 minutes away from all of my old hangouts, all of my old friends. I don't have anything in common with most of them anymore. I'm like this housewife/mother now, and I don't have anyone my age (21) I can relate to about it. I live so far away and I don't have anyone to smoke with except Fred, and when we do actually have the money to buy any weed we have such a hard time finding anyone who sells. I just don't have any contacts anymore. Gah, I feel so miserable and alone most of the time, especially now that spring is here. I really don't think I was ready to be a mother. I love my son a lot, I really do, but I wasn't done partying. Sometimes I wish I could just be like a lot of other mothers my age, and just leave Trent with a babysitter and go out barhopping, but I can't bring myself to do it. He needs me too much right now. No one else can feed him I don't regret breastfeeding, so don't get me wrong there! I'm glad that I can give him the absolute best start in life, and I plan on nursing him until he's at least two. But sometimes I really get tired of being held down by it. I want to get out and meet people, but I was never very good at that even before Trent was around. There's another forum I post on that's an extension of an AP/NFL magazine. It's a parenting board for "crunchy" parents, I guess you could say i.e., we breastfeed, wear our babies, don't do Cry-it-out, gentle discipline stuff like that. Anyway, there's a thread there for a group of parents that I'm a member of. We call ourselves MJ mamas and papas. Boy, do I wish those people lived near me. I'm in desperate need of some like-minded MJ/parenting company. Boy, sometimes it's enough to make you cry.
Sorry you are feeling lonely... I don't say much... not on computer much anymore...but I know Bud Head thinks highly of you. You are like a cornerstone of this forum, so I'd just like to wish good karma to you.
I cant read this and not post, not when a friend is in need. just hang on, this is a hard time, but it will be done before you know it. keep your chin up, spend as much time and energy you can with trent (im sure you do.) let him be your everything. soon things will be back to what you need, but right now, hes so fragile and learning so fast he needs every ounce of attention you can give. It sounds like youre a great mother. youll be so proud of him! later hempress, wish I could give more advice, but what I lack in that department, I will more than make up for in prayers and good karma!
When You See Me Rollin 1 Deep, That Should Tell You Bout Me - Z Ro. Fuck A Friend, Just Gonna Fuck You Over In The End
hey hempress i guess youre going through a lot of changes with the sprog in the family,you do tend to lose your old friends cos your priorities change.ive heard it said that when you have a child you lose your identity because your life becomes to provide for the bairn in every way. anyway what im getting at is you may be a bit low at the moment but you have friends here and you will make more freinds in the future.... chin up...things will get better....
One thing that will help is to stop living in the past and start living in the present. You've gone through changes in your life before and felt like this before and it always passed, as it will this time.
Thanks MSMJ Bud Head's a great guy too, and it sure isn't really the same here now that he's not around much. and thanks everybody else, that does make me feel a little better.
Hey, sorry about your situation. I hope everything gets better for you. Just remember that things always change, and everyone gets down here and there. I didn't even know you had a baby! Thats great! Anyways, good luck, and I hope everything works out for you. Cya.
it will be all ok soon just hang in there and be the loving mother that your son need you love him i know you do be there for him hes your son after all
huge respect to you hempress, your doing a beautiful thing. congratulations on having your priorites straight. never have any regrets.
I know where you're comin' from. Everyone is different and all kids are different. I try not to be too judgemental about how people deal with thier kids. I've seen enough fucked up shit that I believe it's a miracle now days if a kid is raised with both of its parents there. As long as the kid isn't gettin hardcore physical or mental abuse, I keep to myself. I have 3 kids. Raised them all the same way....the way I was raised. (I'm not all that bad ) I still have to deal with each one of them in a different manor. The oldest one responds if I do nothing, say nothing....drives him crazy!! Middle one, has to feel like he's getting the same deals as the oldest boy. Youngest.......he's the easiest.....for now. Girl, it's all different, now. You'll find ya some new buds. You might not get to party as much as you'd like to, now, but you ain't gonna breastfeed forever. And you'll have to eventually get him accustom to spending some time away from you, you know with school and all. I'll not rush things. You shouldn't either. Treasure these awesome baby years, 'cause you'll turn around and he'll be walkin' out the door.....down to his friends. It's quite a rollercoaster!!! Just have faith......this is a long project. You'll discover you have more patience than you ever thought you had. It'll be OK. I still have my old friends and now many others I've met along the way. Just remember you've always got the people here!!
hempress im not a girl, but thats how my mom raised me. she was your age when she had me and all her friends were out drinkin and partyin, she stayed in and took care of me and i'll be god damned if i wouldnt do anything for her. it'll all pay off in the end. i'd pick a lifetime of love from a child than one hazy night of drinking best of luck to you!
thats a shame to see someone waste away held down by there responsiblties. I am sure this is a difficult time for you but your making the right choices and you seem to know that well.
Oh boy, I have good news! My friend N(the one who's in jail) is getting a weekend pass this weekend, and then he's going to be out for good in May! Hooray!
Awesome glad to hear it (you friend being released). For me it is always a strange reality check hearing what friends are up to. Usually it nothing good & i struggle to keep myself from trying to reinstert those same characters in my life. Its always great to hear the good things, but those hardships are hard to share. I am sure youve got your priorities straight and thats bein Momma Hempress, Trent loves you unconditionally & I know hes getting it in return. You doin mom's proud
I agree! *hug* theres the hug you asked for Hempress, i'm very sorry to hear that your lonely. I cant say I know for sure yet, but life comes at you faster than the fastest punch. Just remember, that we cant party forever, when we get older we have to realize, that we cant have the fun we used to be able to have. Those things have to be very special, such as once every few months. My parents used to be heavy partiers, and my mom didn't want to settle down when she had my older brother. But she came to, and realized she had a duty to be fulfilled. As for friends. Its VERY hard to find friends when your older. My parents never, until we moved to this house had a neighbor friend. As for feeling lonely, don't be, you've got all your friends here at GrassCity, and you have trent and your fiance.that may not be alot, but its alot more than what some people have. Treasure what you DO have, and that will make life 100% more tolerable. Lifes spent dreaming, and hoping, never acheive anything. Look to the future not your past. It's okay to reminese every once in a while, but dont make it a habbit. Every time you look at your baby-boy, think about what hes gonna look like in 10 years, the friends hes gonna have, the influence he'll have on other people, the job he'll get. Things get depressing everyonce in a while, but you gotta keep your head up. Go on a family trip if things get uneventful. I know everything will work itself out. Again, my best wishes... Brian
I can't believe I've been missed... Darlin' Hempress.. I think alot of you these days.. I keep thinking about how you and the lil' youngun' is doing.. your name comes up around here alot.. the wife and I both hope all is well... I bet the youngun' is growing like sid or unoit's weed...lol Best wishes and hugs to ya!
youve been missed greatly! the place aint the same without the old heads. good to see that you havent forgotten about us. good luck fishin. peace