Please give me some good constructive criticism. I am not very good at rapping. Yet . As this is the first decent sized rap I've ever wrote haha, sorry about the topic if you're not interested, but please tell me what I should work on and what I did good. Thanks Blades Rockefeller, lock his cellar... This man is, an evil dweller. I once sent this bitch a letter, just askin for some cheddar. For my little brother, the one without a mother or a lover.. This kid is alone I don't want my man to suffer. I then got a letter back, explaining the attack on the twin towers, I sat down and studied this shit for hours. Pray the next day hopein that this shit is not real Turn on the news and hear the newscaster fuckin squeal "The Towers are down, they have both fallen" Well those were my dreams callin Realized my head is not so small then You see it was all planned out The government blew em up An airplanes not even stong enough THEY JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK about you. It's the money their after. not the cure for the flu You're the glue that's holdin em together you need to stop being that and we'll see a change in that weather. put down the gat you just gotta stay clever I met this girl named Heather, and she told me about this lever. Called illuminati the devil traps your soul, and forces your body to be evil, even if there is a sequal. once you're in you're trapped, you'll never go back yea it's whack you just gotta rap For this stupid record label You hate this shit so much You're on every commercial on cable Suicide doesn't seem so rough And now it's very tough to sleep Without that pill This is a constant up hill They put your head up to a drill not to fill, but to empty I wish the government didn't tempt me I was flowing it with this beat: [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEBeOJ5r7Tc&feature=related]Jay-Z - Renegade Instrumental - YouTube[/ame]
Great topic. The fools of this country need to open their eyes to something more than a tv screen. Your lyrical content only empowers your topic. Not too wordy, but you say enough to get the point across while still keeping a steady rhyming pattern. (The basis of good rap/music in general) And you didnt go too hard with curse words which is always good. It doesnt matter what youre talking about, if you muddy your wordplay up with profanity or if you dont use it right the whole thing loses impact(depending on the listener of course.) All in all I'd say you've gotta pretty good handle on raps and rhymes. People tend to sleep on these kinds of raps cuz of the message they carry. I dont know what kind of success youre looking for(mainstream, underground) but expect more people against your message than for it. Blame society's brainwashing for that. All I have to say is keep rapping. Simply keep rapping. Metaphors, flow switches, and all that shit will come as naturally as walking. As long as you keep the mindset that youre the best at what you do, thats exactly what you'll be. And that confidence will show itself in your words everytime.
That maybe true to an extent but you gotta rhyme to have a rap and your rap has to flow to be called music. It all goes hand in hand
[quote name='"ColdToker420"']That maybe true to an extent but you gotta rhyme to have a rap and your rap has to flow to be called music. It all goes hand in hand[/quote] No you don't lol flow to be called music? Please for your own sake lay off the weed it's turned you into a cabbage head
When I said has to flow to be called music I wasnt speaking entirely in literal sense. But if your words dont flow with your instrumental your craft most likely needs work. Do you know of any successful rappers who make a living with music that's off-beat?
[quote name='"ColdToker420"']When I said has to flow to be called music I wasnt speaking entirely in literal sense. But if your words dont flow with your instrumental your craft most likely needs work. Do you know of any successful rappers who make a living with music that's off-beat?[/quote] You just agreed with what I said originally lol You don't have to rhyme to have flow though that's all I said...
Sounds very Eminem-ish, good work. Don't forget to complain about your daughter's upbringing and environment.
Na I can flow this on my own, not my problem. Just wondering how I can get better at rhyming and just rapping. This is pretty much the first rap I've ever wrote. and Rashid, maybe I'll make a song about my abuse mother another time .
I think he's saying if your rap doesn't flow it's not music, which is true if it doesn't flow then it's just a bunch of mixed up choppy words to a beat. And rhyming makes the flow sound 10x better.
[quote name='"The Nickatina"'] I think he's saying if your rap doesn't flow it's not music, which is true if it doesn't flow then it's just a bunch of mixed up choppy words to a beat. And rhyming makes the flow sound 10x better.[/quote] If you're a shitty lyricist you'd believe that.. Trust me plenty artists don't rhyme back to back. It's all about content... Near rhymes are used ALL the time.
I know you can rhyme words just by pronouncing them differently.. I don't really get what you're trying to say.