From what I can see you need to lay off the weed for a little and hang around your parents some....let them know youre interested in talking to a therapist. That would be enough said unless you want to cause a lot of unneeded drama. Talk it out with a therapist and start a blog if you feel writing helps.
I read all of it. its good that you know where you stand now. The only thing i can advise you on is to not make the same mistakes twice.
Man i feel you op. I was like you back in middle school, getting bullied etc. Then, like you i joined the group making fun of me, even tho they still did, they liked me for making fun of other people. I was cool with them for a while, working my way up the ranks, so by my freshmen year of hs i was notably cooler than my middleschool years. Then my sophmore year, i started smoking weed, I dogged my prep friends, started hangin with the stoners, and smoking everyday. I never got to be a bigshot in the stoner group though, like i wanted to be. I even lost a few stoner friends, and the summer after my sophmore year was boring. Nothing to do but smoke weed (mosstly by myself). So i lost my closest friend halfway through summer, no real friends at that point. Terrible lonliness, just me, my down syndrome weed plant lol and my drug abuse. Then by october of 2010 i had been diagnosed with clinical depression. Started lexapro and therapy, both of which suck. Im tapering off the lexapro, and am supposed to see a PSYCHOLOGIST next friday FTW. Idk why i just feel, well somewhat insane. Despite my past social situations(main thing bothering me) weed has helped me with my anxiety a hell of alot. Maybe too much, seeing as i can hardly put the stuff down. Now i Do what I WANT TO DO. I dont take orders, and if you want something, better ask nice or you aint getin it. I have become increasingly aggressive and violent, have been stealing, overindulging in certain things, but still prety much keep to myself, Im just so quiet and people judge you for it. Its like being discraminated against b/c i,m quiet around ppl i dont know. i still dont have much of a socaial life, but its getting better. I almost like school more than being home b/c of all the life in that place, even if i dispise alot of ppl and their immature behavior.. Oh welll op. say goodbye to weed and hell-O to seroquel, sounds like you got schizo but im no doctor. good luck