So like many you may know. I have been dating this guy for a good 3 weeks almost a month now. Things have been going pretty smooth i may add. I stay over at his house quite often and always end up leaving before i want to because of not having clothes or bath acces. So while i was there last time i finially brought clothes w/ me and a bag of my bath acess. And he went to work lastnight and left me at his house i was going to stay there but my cousin ended up picking me up around midnight when and he didn't get off until 4am. So i left my bag in his room and just stuck my few clothes i left (like 2 short and some panties) in his drawer. And i talked to him around 1pm today and hes all oh hey you left your bag of stuff here and i told him i knew that i did it on purpose and hes all why? and i told him i put the bag together to leave it there so i have it when i spend the night. And i was just like why does it bother you and hes all yea. I didn't say anything else He said he had to go to take a shower cause he worked at 4. And i told him i would call him when he got off. So like 20 min ago i call him and were talking and out of nowhere he goes OH ya what makes you think that its okay to leave your clothes my dresser. And i was all dude calm the fuck down. And hes all what makes you think its okay? I got out of the shower earlyer and saw that and i was just like what the fuck? And i just kinda stayed quiet on the phone and he says something about calling my cousin to come and get them. And i still stayed quite and i was kinda only half way listening him saying something about moving to fast and this and that. And i just stayed on the phone til he told me to call him in an hour or so. So i wrote him a message on myspace cause my phone is broken so i can't text him or anything....this is what i said...... "I just wanted to send you a message and tell you what i should have told you on the phone.... I appologize for leaving them there. I was just trying to be practical not anything else. I figure i stay there often why not leave some clothes so i dont have to worry about having clothes to wear while im there. I will take them home next time I am there. And give you your space since that what it seems like you want right now." I haven't sent it yet so if you have a suggjestion to change it or something lemme know. I guess i am just getting this feeling like he doesn't want any traces of him having a girlfriend in his room. What do you think? Thanks so much GC!!!!
If you and him are mutually exclusive, then I don't see a problem with it. If not, then it could seem like moving too fast. A girl dropping stuff off in your room is pretty much to ward off any other chicks. If you are his girl, then he shouldn't trip about it.
I am his "girl". we have talked about it and even when anyone calls and they ask whats up hell tell him just chilling with my "lady". So i dont get it....
I wouldn't apologize for shit then. I would just be like "wtf? what is the problem?". If he is tripping about that kinda shit now, I would take it as a red flag.
Oh trust me I am taking it as a BIGG red flag. I was talking to my friend about cause i was talking to her online when I called him and I flat out told her that im starting to re-think things. And she told me to put in my message that when he wants to work on the realationship to let me know. But i didn't know if i wanted to go THAT far.
I honestly don't see why leaving your clothes there is a problem at all...it's the logical thing to do in this situation. Maybe (long shot) he saw that as things moving too quickly, but I really have no idea. I know I wouldnt care at all if a girl I was dating wanted to do that.
Do you still live at home? Cause if you do he might think your next move is to try and move in. Trust me its not that he doesnt like you, you just have to let him know that its for convenience like in your message. Plus if he just moved into his own place he may still want to reap the benefits of being completely alone. I.E. walk around naked, leave messes, relax and do nothing for a whole day without showering. Atleast thats what I do.
See i do still like at home but within the next week or so I am movin in with a friend. And he knows this. But he lives in a big house w/ two middle aged guys.
If you left your bag in his room, why didn't you just leave the clothes in the bag? Putting them in his dresser drawer is kind of infringing on his territory....3 weeks is not a very long time at all...and even if Y'all were to end up married in the future, you'd have your own dressers....a man's drawer is his personal space....maybe he has some stuff in his drawers he doesn't want you to see...he probably woulda never said anything if ya had just left the stuff in the bag...
And I just re-read this....I highlighted what's confusing me in bold...you talked to him 20 mins ago on the phone and he told you to call him in an hour, but, suddenly your phone is broke, so you have to send him a message on Myspace? Sounds like you're scared to 'talk' to him now....no relationship will ever work if you can't 'talk' about things....Myspace messages are not the way to work things out
from a guys perspective, i would say its moving a little too fast. yall have only been dating for a month? a little soon for any long term commitment type actions, even tho leaving some clothes in a drawer isnt THAT big of a deal, it could be one of those "oh shit" moments if hes afraid of commitment.
Sounds like you dont give a shit about what hes saying because you say straight up that your only half way listening. 3 weeks is not enough time for you to start deciding where to leave stuff....the bag alone is one thing....but the clothes in the drawer is too much. what if hes trying to play you and your fucking it up by leaving some girl shit in the bachelor pad...you sound too young to be dating seriously anyways...test the waters and bang the otters!
and yes what the poster said above me, "infringing on personal space" that is a big deal for guys. dressers, medicine cabinets, glove boxes in our trucks, girls be careful what you leave in there! weed is always ok
Ill try to clear up the "confustion" for you. I talked to him on my house phone because he broke my cell phone like 2 weeks ago. So he told me to call him in an hour but i was getting ready to go somewhere so i left him a message on myspace.
So i am too young to be dating?! How old am i suppose to be til i can start dating?? 35yrs ond or what?!
I understand why you left your stuff there, its makes things easier and you two are exclusive. However, three weeks is a very very short amount of time and to me, thats just moving way too fast. You both still have so much to learn about each other and are still testing out the waters. So maybe you should slow down a little and both take a little space to breathe.
dating is cool....being tied down is kinda whack and moving in together or attempting too isnt such a great idea...... you have many many years of this stuff going on and theres no rush...take is sleazy
