Hi. this is going to come off as a random bunch of sentences. they should be on topic and should have a theme. i just need advice. i smoked a little tonight and just started thinking. its about my me and my mom. about our relationship. she grew up in a nice area in ohio. parents were very religious, father worked and mother stayed at home. brother and a sister. she met my dad through her parents in her twenties i believe. they married 3 months later, but i guess both familes were cool with it. married for 10 years, had me, and divorced when i was 2. they've both remarried, and been friends ever since. both familes and i have had dinner on numerous occasions. i do family stuff on both sides of the families. i feel very lucky for being so prevledged. anyways, i had this thought earlier, and got it down as fast as possible. i just had to. i knew it was something i would want to remember. maybe it is...maybe it isn't. i don't know right now. but i thought maybe someone might have some advice: i want to know more about my mom. i want to know about her childhood, about how she met my dad, about what happend w/ them. i feel like she's never been open aboutit. but then again, i really feel like i haven't wanted to know. but i don't feel ready to hear abuot it now. i think i need to get older, grow up more. i need to be independent, and have started a family even. but im afraid if something happens to her, or me, that i may never know. and if something happend to her, and i never knew...i'd just feel left out of that part of her life. and i know i'd regret not ever inquiring about it. and i couldn't live with that. i feel so close to her, she was always a wonderful mother and a wonderful person. she has lived for me, and im sorry to just begin to understand what kind of a person that takes.
Based on the dynamics of my own family and our relationships I could never imagine being ill prepared to ask any question. I know a lot about my mother's past, the good and the bad, but I know nothing of my father's. He left before I was ever aware of the world, I don't even really know what he looks like aside from the one picture I have of him. For fifteen years he was just a notion in the back of my head until my grandmother (his mom) called one day to tell me he was dead... apparently from an overdose. I can't tell you what you should do but maybe it will help your decision knowing that as much as I despised my dad for ignoring me my whole life I still wish i could have just sat down with him and asked him questions.
Well, life is a cycle, same shit over and over.... we all wish we would've talked to our parents more, knew them better, respected them like we know they deserved, yet we feel like we treated them like shit.....some people realise what they should do before it's too late, some people don't. You should be glad you have that chance, and take it. But, it's no big deal if you don't, right? I mean, most people have had that chance and let it pass, and were very sorry they didn't take it. I still have that chance, I hope i take it.
i know how u feel... i always wanted to know how my mom had met my dad, and y they had gotten divorced... but unfortunately my mom passed away in october from lung cancer... now i just wish i would have talked to her more :'(