need a bit of advice?

Discussion in 'Real Life Stories' started by MDC420, Oct 10, 2010.

  1. wasup guys,

    basically, iv had a one night stand with a girl i used to go to school with and now shes told me shes pregnant and keeping it. She told me she was on the pill. I know i should have wrapped up, but its all easy to say in hindsight.

    I'm only 19 and just got on my feet, moved into a flat in the city and making plans for my life, to get my qualifications then immigrate.

    My father wasnt around for me much when i was growing up and have always said id never do that to my own child and I understand what its like growing up without a dad.

    I dont know what to do, what to think, what to say. This is tearing me up that im gonna be bringing a child into this world in my financial state, i want to be able to give my kid everything and just now its not humanly possible. I'm at college so i've barely enough money to support myself never mind try and support a child.

    has anyone got any advice or advise me what to do? i just keep thinking over in my head that im not ready to be a dad and the best years are just starting for me.

    i just dont know what to do
  2. you need to sit down and tell all of this to her. it is possible it isn't yours man so until you have a paternity test i wouldn't sweat it too much unless you are sure its yours.

    its a tough situation you've gotten yourself into, i don't think anyone our age is financially stable enough to support a child, they are expensive haha. you need to voice that to her that you don't think you're capable of supporting it at this time. you aren't a deadbeat for not being able to take care of a child you didn't want in the first place. hell you are still a kid man!

    sit down and talk with her, ask her if this is REALLY what she wants at this time and age, ask her if she will be able to support it with as much help as possible from you but you have your own expenses right now. talk to her about her options and maybe it will work out for the best in the end.

    how sure is she that she is pregnant? i know a few girls that were late a day or two for their period and insisted they were pregnant. make sure before you start freaking out man, keep us updated
  3. shes 7 weeks man, showed me the test, been to the doc etc.

    ive talked to her about it, shes morally against abortion, and i'm starting to think thats why she told me she was on the pill, so that if she got pregnant she could say this. i think she secretly wants a baby.

    shes a student aswell, but is dropping out because here in the UK basically - a single teenage mum, will get a nice house and lots of money from the government.

    She says she hasnt slept with anyone else but i reckon if she had she wouldnt say anyway. It costs hundreds of pounds for a paternity test aswell so i wont be able to afford that either.
  4. oh shit man.. so its 100% that she is pregnant.. the way you tell it man, it sounds like she straight up trapped you into this. you should have wrapped it up even if she said she was on the pill but i know how reassuring the pill can sound.

    at this point i'd say fuck her and start weighing YOUR options. you say your a student, in my opinion you shouldn't let anything stop you from continuing your education. if it is in fact yours, the best thing you can do for it is get a decent job so you can help support it. is she in school or to her is this baby her ticket to an easy life? edit - reread, tell her if she wants any help from you she will stay in school and further her education. you can't be the only one taking care of it and riding the government isn't right. tell her you won't support her in all of this if she chooses to drop everything to get a check from the government.

    do your parents know? i'd tell them man they may be your best support in all of this. do HER parents know? i'd tell them too man.

    you said it was a one night stand, could you see yourself with this girl? i'm not saying that just because she is having "your" kid that you need to marry her but it would be cool if you were able to step up and be his dad. it will be rough but doable man, i know people our age with children and THEIR life is over but it also gives you a chance to really grow up with your kid.

    if she is against abortion, i suppose that is out of the question and i'm not saying you should HOPE for this but miscarriages do happen.

    what would ideal for you in this? her not having it? i wish you the best man, its easy to see every negative side of this but you can also look at the positives, this fetus is half you man, it might be a cool ass kid when it grows up

  5. yes mate i think her having this kid is putting her under the impression that she can sit it home all day with my kid(THAT I DIDNT WANT) while i have to stop my education and get a job. thats not gonna happen.

    her mum knows, opinion is that she will support her either way.
    not told my parents yet, dont speak to them that much.

    i don't know what the ideal scenario would be, i just know im not ready to be a father, psychologically or financially.

    to be honest, i dont think i could see myself being with her, shes a great looking girl but, shes got a head full of fresh air. good looks are only half the package for me i'm afraid :(
  6. If it was a one night stand and she gave it up on the first night, i wouldnt believe her when she say there wasnt another guy. also, you need to invest in a paternity test cause its likeyl you may not be the father. good luck
  7. Ask her to help you move?

    But in all seriousness you can maybe call child services when the baby is born and have it put up for adoption?

  8. that also might be your best bet. tell her you aren't ready psychologically/physically/financially ready for this. its totally understandable man, i'm 19 too and i couldn't even imagine being in your situation. if she wants you to drop out of school and get a job to support this child, you need to tell her to get real. there is absolutely no reason that you should have to do that, if anything she should want you to FURTHER your education so you have a better chance and actually being able to support this thing.

    you need to tell her that if she is going to bring it into the world, she is also going to need to support it. taking care of it is all good and well but that is only half the battle. her thinking that this is her ticket to never have to work and everyone else will support her is outlandish and unacceptable. voice your concerns man, at this point its your only option. if she is going to carry it to term you have a say in how things will go down. if she doesn't respect that, don't respect her.

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