I just found out on Monday the 1st that my wife has been with two other men in the last year. Needless to say I am f#$king devastated. We have a seven year old daughter, and I don't want her to grow up having daddy issues like her mom. I left when I first found out and went to a hotel, but my wife had to have a surgery the next day and had no one else to drive her home from the doctor. So I have spent the last week caring for her and my daughter all while dealing with the emotional roller coaster I am on. I know this has nothing to do with 420 but I just had to vent some how. I want to work things out but right now it seems like an impossible task. I wish the sky wasn't blue, I wish Water wasn't wet, and I wish I still didn't love my wife.
Just because this is a weed forum doesn't mean were not a community. The more you're here the more you will find this is a website about life. You will find everything on this site. You're also allowed to curse. But with you're wife, that's a terrible thing she has done to you. How would you're daughter have daddy issues? When she's older and she finds out what you're wife and I hope soon to be ex-wife did to you I think it would be more likely she would have "mommy issues" then any daddy issues. PS: Remember we here on Grasscity are a community and are here for you through thick and thin!
Damn. I really have no advice here as this is all way out of my element but as the poster above said feel free to vent all you need, this really is a terrible situation. Perhaps give us some more details so we can get a better idea of the situation: how did you find out/how did she tell you? how has she acted around you since? are you considering leaving her?
hey man, that must be really rough...i would assume youve been together for atleast 7-10 y ears if not more.... my best friends dad was cheating on his wife for a few months too...they got a divorce (this is when my buddy was a freshman in college tho). His mom re-married and his dad is now all fuked up..he was gonna get married, now just broke off the wedding and is confused with life and full of regrets. it might be the hardest thing you could ever do, but id leave her. not only did she cheat on you, she cheated on you with more than 1 person, thats even worse...wheres her morals at? she cant be in love with you if she did that...it must be impossible to believe and hard to understand. best of luck, do all you can to be civil around your daughter so she doesnt have to see fighting like that, keep her out of it as much as possible, and move on with your life, obviously keeping your kid involved with it, but leave your wife, she doesnt deserve you...you are so loving that you took care of her after finding this out....you have a lot to give. give it to someone who actually appreciates it and will give love back. you only get one chance to live your life. dont hold onto a relationship bc you think it will get better. chances are you will live the rest of your life unhappy or unsettled with a lot of anger toward your wife....never too late to find someone else.
Thanks to you all for your support. To answer a few questions, I think my daughter will have "daddy" or boy issue is because with out a stable father figure in her life she will most likely turn out to be a slut looking for the wrong kind of male attention. The second part is I found out about the affairs on my own. This has got to be the most painful thing I have ever gone through. Right now I consider myself single. But I don't want to through away all the years and time, we had 14 years together, I have invested in this relationship. Right now I don't think I am capable of making any decisions. But thanks again, Any support is welcome.
You said you still love your wife so don't make a decision too quickly. Maybe if you still love each other you can work through it. I'm sure it will be very hard for you to forgive her. People do make mistakes that they regret in life. Also I don't think if you do separate that your daughter will have issues if you are still active in her life. I wish you the best of luck.
I am sorry for your pain. I don't know that there is any kind of advice that will ease your pain, but obviously something wasn't right in the relationship. I am jaded, and don't really believe in life-long monogamy. People change, circumstances change, and people's needs change. This has a lot less to do with you than it does with her and it sounds like she might be suffering from a certain type of narcissistic disorder, especially if she had trust issues as a child... from what I understand, people develop narcissism as a direct result of some kind of neglect as a child, in her case, maybe an absence of a reliable father figure? You can be a strong and active figure in your daughter's life whether you and your wife are together or not. I think it would be a mistake to bring her up in a family where there are trust issues. At 7 years old, she's already more aware than she should be, and as time goes on she'll only become more intuitive. If she sees the conflict at 10 and 12 years old, by 16 she's certainly going to be acting out. Be strong, daddy! Your daughter needs you!
I have no clue on what to tell a married man when he is told his wife has cheated, be it a boyfriend/girlfriend then yes. The one thing I can tell you is don't drown yourself in this, it's her fault, let her realize the problems. You NEED to be A FATHER first and foremost. Just be there for your girl, she needs you and you need her.
don't think it's your fault man cause it isn't she was spoiled and took it for granted now her life is going to suck...
If you've ever read the play, "Fences", there's a part where the main character cheats on his wife, but since they have a child they 'separate' and live disconnected under the same roof. Since you do have a child, (and I don't know if your wife knows you know about it) staying as disconnected as possible for now could be your best option.
I hate to tell you this, but the sky will always be blue, the water will always be wet, and you will always love your wife... Have you considered 'forgiving' her?
If you can heal your relationship good for you...but if not...kick your wife out of the house, she was the one who cheated, that goes a long way in court I believe.
It's hard, oh boy it'll be hard but, move on man. there's nothing to do but keep your chin up. you're single now [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhMRXjGn0V0]YouTube - im single again baby yeh[/ame]
Dude seriously? She cheats on him not once but TWICE(different guys), HE found out it's not like she came clean asking for forgiveness. Who knows how many there could have been, in my opinion shell lie about the number of partners, only confirming ones you bring up and have concrete evidence for, depending she might lie even when your proving her wrong with facts, because hey if she doesn't admit it to you, it never happened. My mom cheated on my dad causing that break up and on my step dad causing that break up, and still lies to her kids about it when her family and friends have confirmed it. Women lie bro, I don't trust any of em.
Sorry to hear this man, it's nice that you are considering your daughter through all of this. I would say take it easy, think over things and talk to her. If she is able to explain it off convincingly and you feel that over time you could forgive her then try and let things develop again, it won't be easy but it is possible. If not, then make the divorce as painless as possible, not only for yourself but for your daughter too. People on here and I can make suggestions but it's really up to you, do what you feel is right.
Yup. And find out what your parental rights are. She put herself and her own selfishness between both you and your child. That's complete selfish BS.