My use has FINALLY caught up to me

Discussion in 'Pandora's Box' started by led.zeppelin.fa, Sep 26, 2009.

  1. Warning: NOVEL lol

    disclaimer: please no personal put downs or attacks etc, Criticism I can take however. Im basically looking for non biased advice or opinons

    well recently I've been IVing methylphenidate as a substitute to my favourite drug, H which has been unavailable

    Its quite accessible for me, not to mention cheaper then my previous fave.

    I let my guard down and never really actually stopped and thought about things because "oh who cares, its ritalin"

    I used to IV 40mgs and have a full body orgasm (not a metaphor)
    and sloowly, I started to like it more.

    Next up, I've made friends with a son of two doctors (boner material) who had BOXES lying around he didn't even want.

    I dont know how it happened but now I'm injecting 40-80mgs a time, twice or more a day. obviously I dont get that magic high i loved

    It happened so fucking fast I didn't know til I was at work and NEEDED a shot to be able to function that I clicked..
    the part that confuses me the most is Im way worse on this then I ever was on heroin.

    I never needed a shot to feel 'normal', I never had track marks and was militantly sterile
    I never fiended or engaged in junkie-like activties
    I maintained normality and refused to give in to the stereotypical heroin down spiral sob story.

    fast forward to now, my arms are DISGUSTINGLY tracked and swollen. im ashamed.
    I took advantage of trust placed in me, and took a few extra pills when the guy trusted me to just get them from his spot
    and I fixed up in a public facility, something i always looked down on

    I had my last shot about an hour ago, which I promised myself would be the last for at least a week.
    within half an hour I was considering picking up the phone [​IMG]

    Im trying real hard to be strong and heal my body, mind and veins.

    would love some support.

    already fuckin relapsed before i could even fucking finish, i got a call and couldn't refuse a delivery
  2. You've got to be strong! I have had my fair share of recreational drugs that are easily accessable to me to use at anytime.:wave: It is really a mind over matter deal, you have to be able to understand you're in control of yourself, and you can stop. Or maybe you don't need to full on stop. Maybe just sloooow down, get stoned. I know this is easier said than done...fooorrr suuure. It's all about control. And this is about the only advice I've got. hope it helps.
    sincerely, a supporter.
    <B>do not quit right away. It'll be wayyyy too painful and you'll have worse withdrawal symptoms.
  3. I'm going to be completely hones with you here man. YOU are the only one who can help yourself in this situation. Whether it be rehab, NA meetings, detox, goin cold turkey, or weening yourself off of them, you gotta do somethin though. A habit like that is going to lead to nothing good in the long run, and it sounds like the lifestyle you're livin, and especially the physically harming aspects of it (unsterile needles) can, and WILL end up ruining your life. Do something about it while you still can. DOn't wait until its too late, and you get hep-c or worse. Like i said YOU are the one that has to do something. It's not gonna be a quick and easy process. It takes time, dedication, and some SERIOUS will power, but i promise, it will be worth it in the end man! Get clean, turn to a new chapter in your life, and leave all that stuff out of it! Good luck and Good vibes your way man! :wave:

  4. Quoted for truth.
  5. You'll feel tons better if you take even more than week break (but don't rush yourself). Work out, eat right, and get your body to start getting up to that level you once were at. Keeping your body strong and healthy won't only make you feel good physically, but also mentally.
  6. Habit aside, do you have any plan for dealing with the arm/vein infection, and any other infectious process that may be going on (lungs, heart)? Septicaemia, endocarditis or a pulmonary emboli would put a major crimp in any plans to kick. Infections are a lot worse than they used to be, and you may need IV antibiotics.
    Do you have a doctor or clinic you can deal with?
  7. I wasn't aware anyone actually IVed Ritalin. Did you use a microfilter?
  8. take care of yourself!!!
  9. Stay strong bo!!! I just kicked an opiate addiction a couple months ago, and I still get the urge to pop some pills here an there. Woke up on the side of the road after blacking out from so many pills, and decided it was time to stop before I seriously hurt myself.
  10. maybe try popping them to get some of the feeling and ween off them? i know it wont be as strong, but it might curve the urge to shoot it
  11. Keep your head up man.

    I'm a little confused as to why you substituted methylphenidate for heroin though. Opposite sides of the spectrum. Maybe you're more addicted to shooting up, than you are either drug.
  12. positive vibes your way. good luck in kickin the habit
  13. #13 piffcity09, Sep 26, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 26, 2009

    I suggest you just get a piece of paper and write out ' I WILL NOT TAKE ANY MORE RITALIN' like a thhousand times and stick it somewere and when you go to cave just think about what you wrote.

    OH and right were you inject it into your arm (if you inject it into your arm) get a perma marker and write NO BE STRONG on your arm haha
  14. #14 Diceman, Sep 26, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 26, 2009

    Just gonna be blunt about it. Kickin a habbit is as simple as making a decision to do something and not letting anything stop you from achieving your goal.

    People who try and fail are just people who didn't really want it. They wanted it..just not enough. They never made the real choice..cause they always talked themselves back into using.

    You already know the road is bumpy..and odds are it's only gonna get bumpier (why wouldn't it). Remember it's all in your head...when you "need" to shoot up..tell yourself no you don't drugs to function and keep doing what your doing.

    I mean how bad do you want to be able to live a normal day without having to shoot up just to function..knowing it's only gonna grow in doses...theres 0% chance that your habbit wont grow. The longer you wait to stop it, the stronger those tugs you feel are gonna get.

    I'm speaking from experience here..both mine and people I've been close to. Please just put a lot of thought into what you really want. It never hurts to reinforce positive thoughts.

    Addicts don't and CAN'T forget about their addiction. Your gonna think about using every single day for a long time. It's gonna get easier but the draw will always exist. It's like a gang..once your in..your commited. It's all about what you do when those thoughts pop up in your head. Do you beat them? Or let them beat you?

    You got my support and if you have any questions or just need a little support you can PM me. Hope things go as smoothly as possible.
  15. Next time you want to use, look down at your arms and ask yourself is it worth doing this to myself?
  16. well guys, after being on a long bender, I finally toughened up and allowed it to wear off and faced the comedown I'd been dreading.

    smoked some nice indica and ate nice nice fatty foods and rested up.

    Now that I know how vulnerable I am to jones'ing I'll treat methylphenidate with a bit more respect.

    and for whoever was confused about switching from heroin to methylphenidate:
    Its a huge dopamine release, more potent then cocaine in its effect on that part of the brain. its actually sedating after a while
  17. ya dude i've snorted the tablets a few times.... very gnarly initial rush.
  18. Yeah man, if you think thats great, try (dont) IVing the fuckers.
    better rush then heroin in my opinion, But I dont like the buzz after as much as H

  19. For real...that shits only cool with other IV'ers. Everyone else will automatically assume your a hardcore junkie...
  20. i literally just tried heroin for my first time (freebased)

    and ritalin was a gnarlier rush for sure but being high on the h is better after

    that rit. rush is nuts though

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