(*1* At a bus stop, there are two gentlemen in their twenties. The first one tries to start a conversation by saying, "You know that im a supergenius?" The second guy takes out a J and starts to smoke it. "This guy is a weedhead" the genius thinks to himself, and as hes short on money makes a wager to the stoner; "How bout we ask each other questions to kill the time" the supergenius proclaims. "We can do it this way, i will give you 100$ if you answer my question correct, but you only have to give me 10$ if i answer your question right." The stoner thinks about it, then says "Ok, you can start" The supergenius starts; "What is the square root of 625?" "12?" asks the stoner, and alas he is wrong and hands the supergenius 10 dollars. "My turn" he says. "What has 13 legs going up a hill but only 3 down?" After pondering for a few minutes, the supergenius realizes that the stoner has stumped him and says "i dont know" and as he hands him 100$ asks him "what was it" the stoner replies "i dont know either" and hands the supergenius 10 dollars! (*2* 3 Guys are on a road trip, they run out of gas, food and water, and finally their car finishes up the last drop a few hundred yards before a convinience store. The guys push their car to the store and decide to go in one by one. The first guy walks in and notices a very ugly old diseased looking woman at the counter. He says "m'am, we need some food/water and gasoline but we have no money." She tell his that she will give him all that if he gives her the best fuck she has ever had. Disgusted he leaves. Then the second guy walks in and says says "M'am, we need some food and water and gasoline but we have no money." She tell his that she will give him all that if he gives her the best fuck she has ever had. He too being disgusted, walks out. Finally the last guy walks in and asks her for the same things, with the usual answer he is greeted. However this time the reply is "ok but close your eyes" He takes a corn on the cob and does her with that, and throws it out the window. "WOW!" she eclaims after he is finished, and says that she will give him enough food for a month if he does her again. Again he asks her to close her eyes, and fucks her with a corn on the cob. After they are done throws it out the window again, and gets his supplies and walks out. As he steps outside, he sees his buddies eating something, but he cant quite make out what it is. "Hey JOE! You wouldnt believe what you just missed out on, the best buttered corn on the cob we have ever had!!" *****BEST FOR LAST***** (*3* A hippie is on a bus and starts idle chat with the busdriver. They begin talking and finally the hippie tells the busdriver that he wants to have sex with a local nun. The busdriver tells him that she prays infront of the altar of jesus every night at 7:00, so his best chance would be to meet her there. The hippie dresses up as Jesus, and hides behind the altar. At about 7:00 the nun comes and starts praying, and the hippie jumps out. "What do you wish from me my savior" asks the nun. "I wish to fuck you". However she does not want to lose her virginity so she asks him to fuck her in the ass. After they are done, the hippie feels so proud that he rips off the costume and exclaims: "I AM THE HIPPIE!" The nun looks shocked but then rips off her costume to say "YEA BUT IM THE BUSDRIVER!!" Have fun!
haha! i laughed my fucking ass off at that last one. lol wow, that is horrible. number 2 is pretty damn good too.
UMM UR JOKE NUMBER THREE WOULD BE EVEN FUNNIER IF U RE MADE IT SO THAT THERE AREND TWO NUNS FUCKING EACHOTHER. UR MISTAKE BRO.
that was so funny i snort laughed on the phone with my boyfriend and he almost hung up on me. i was in hysterics. thank you for that
wow great second one is funny but i heard it before so ya... i have one for you here it is ok so a priest, rapest, and a pedifile all walk in a bar....... and thats just the first guy! here is another one Your momma is so dumb she puts salt water in her pants to keep the crabs fresh! (sorry if its offensive to anyone)
haha those were awesome, even tho the second was pretty gross. how come you havent smoked or dexed is so long? any particular reason?
After being nearly snowbound for two weeks last winter, a Seattle man departed for his vacation in Miami Beach, where he was to meet his wife the next day at the conclusion of her business trip to Minneapolis. They were looking forward to pleasant weather and a nice time together. Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix-up at the boarding gate, and the man was told he would have to wait for a later flight. He tried to appeal to a supervisor but was told the airline was not responsible for the problem and it would do no good to complain. Upon arrival at the hotel the next day, he discovered that Miami Beach was having a heat wave, and its weather was almost as uncomfortably hot as Seattle's was cold. The desk clerk gave him a message that his wife would arrive as planned. He could hardly wait to get to the pool area to cool off, and quickly sent his wife an e-mail, but due to his haste, he made an error in the e-mail address. His message therefore arrived at the home of an elderly preacher's wife whose even older husband had died only the day before! When the grieving widow opened her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out an anguished scream, and fell to the floor dead. Her family rushed to her room where they saw this message on the screen: Dearest wife, Departed yesterday as you know. Just now got checked in. Some confusion at the gate. Appeal was denied. Received confirmation of your arrival tomorrow. Your loving husband. PS - Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at how hot it is down here.
it was updated feb 7th lol ive dexed a few times since then but ive mostly quit drugs besides alcohol and weed (~1 a month- 2 a month at special avents) its been good though, i really needed to take some shit seriously and dxm was fucking up a whole lot of shit for me with 2 hospital visits and whatnot