my saturday night

well last saturday me and my friends found this great place up along a bike trail with a fire pit and such about 2 miles down the trail around a bend so we figured it would be a nice party spot. so we pile up the cars with wood and head over to the wal-suck to buy 2 tins of lighterfluid to start the fire. apx.11pm

apx. 12 pm after leaving the suck-mart we start driving with our cases in hand and get to the trail. once there we unload the wood near the gate and park the cars in a parking lot. there were about 12 of us we all carry our wood and cases down the trail on foot. after walking for what seemd like forever we finally get to the fire pit. ok not so great of a walk but the night still seems great. apx 12:30 pm

we load up the fire pit and throw the fluid on the logs. after using the entire first can without lighting we decide it would be a smart idea to use a stick with the tip covered in fluid to light the fire... and it actually was a good idea. apx 12:50

we start drinking im at about my 5th beer and we realized that the wood we have isnt burning... so wow this sucks and we decide to use the other lighter fluid. so we find out its not burning still because the wood is still wet... fuck! so we all just keep drinking to get warm until the water is burned out of the logs. so its cold as balls with a puny fire with 12 people drinking. then 2 of the people head off to get more fluid.

by apx 1 am we get the fire steadily burning (still small). at about apx. 1:30 am (the assholes took so long) they get back with the lighter fluid. since the fire is going they decide to do something with the can so it wouldnt be a waste of money... they throw the entire can in the fire... BOOM. buge flames about 30 feet high. i swear i saw a mushroom cloud. ok that was cool and wasnt too loud so we decide it was all fine and keep drinking around the fire... by this time im hammered out of my mind... at one point i was actually standing in the fire for a while.

so then we see a light coming down the trail... we figure it was our friend (we will call him bob) who left with his flashlight to get his girl and is coming back... well my good friend who we will call jack decided to take a look at the light and possibly scare him... comes running back over and says run its a big ass spotlight on the hood of a car. so everybody takes off running.. me being the type of guy i am... i grab my last 3 beers.

well i end up with jacks girlfriend (who we will call alexis) about a half a mile down the road and about 50 feet off the path in the woods where we hit a river. mind you im drunk as hell and this river is about 3-4 feet deep. we call jack and tell him to walk upstream until he finds us... he does in about 2 mins. at this point we see fire truck and police lights coming down the bike trail and decide the best thing to do is to run across the river to avoid getting caught...

so we take off across the river in 35 degree weather. i fall when crossing the river and lose my last 3 beers i wave to them as they float down the river. we all manage to get across the river but of course we all managed to fall at least once. after crossing we get to a huge muddy hill thats about an 80 degree slope where alexis managed to lose a shoe in the mud. she got up the hill first. then jack got up the hill.. i went to follow jack but after 2 people taking the same way the hill has no grip left... i slide back to the bottom... i have to find a different way up the hill... after about 10 mins i manage to find a new way but also cant see in the dark that the branch im about to grab to take my final step onto flat land is a huge thorn branch. i feel each thorn rip my skin as i continue to grab and use it for leverage onto the top of the hill.

while at the top of the hill we count 3 fire trucks an 4 police cars. we also hear dogs and helicopters... we think great...were gonna be on the news.. we take off running up the densely wooded hill. after running for a good 10 mins we come to a point where we can take a steep but short path or the longer but easier path... we take the short path. it is one of those water runoffs with those huge boulders. we take off climbing up the huge boulders. mind you we are all soaking wet in freezing weather and alexis has 1 shoe.

we're all slipping and falling trying to get up these mossy boulders. and we finally reach the top of the boulders bruised tired and bleeding. we can still hear the dogs at the bottom of the hill... we decide it would be a good idea to keep going after a 2 minute rest and phone calls to get the hell out of there. after nobody answered and the ones who did would do nothing we decided to keep moving after 20 more mins we finally get to the top of the hill and see huges houses... we decided that if they werent such big houses they would be ok to approach but with houses that size they wouldnt give 2 shits. and they were probably the ones who called the cops. so we start walking and make a phone call.. by this time i had given alexis my t shirt to wrap her foot with and jack my hoodie to wear... so im walking down the street in my jeans and shoes... so our ride finally gets there and we get the hell out of that place... lets just say we were all sore the next day

 

thx... and there were def. helicopters.. we saw like 2 of em flying real low around the fire trucks and such

 

as of right now nobody has been contacted by the cops so i think we got away with it... even if our plates had been taken we could just deny deny deny

and yeah... everything did seem to go wrong jack and alexis were on the verge of hypothermia and only had one phone with 1 bar left and that phone was soggy from the river and us 3 ran in the complete opposite direction of everybody else

but i wasnt gonna let them go it alone

at one point he got real morbid thinking that they were gonna die.

 

^which was a valid thing to assume^