My New Years Jail Story..

Hey GC,

So i just got got out of jail today
I really wasn't sure if I would want to post my story but I kind of figured maybe some fellow blades could learn from my stupid..really stupid mistakes. NO THERE IS NO SHORT VERSION FOR ALL YOU LAZY READERS! Anyways, I recently got on probation a couple of months ago for a POM that I took the fall for my best friend who was already on probation at the time and his girlfriend and her cousin. Well i still fucked around with the herb and did the whole dilute process whenever iI had to meet my probation officer, except for this one time that I just got careless and didn't think i would get tested..i was dead wrong.

So I obviously failed and got a call from my probation officer in the original county I was arrested in (I had my probation transfered to my home county). She calls me telling me that my other probation officer reported to her that i failed after she had me throw away my failed piss making me think I was saved. She tells me that i need to drive all the way back to her county which is a little over a hundred miles away! (I got caught trying to go to the coast with my friends) She also said that when i report to her that I will be sanctioned and had to turn myself into the county jail for a short stay..

She so happened to want to see me a day before New Years eve so I would obviously miss the new years. Now I've never been in any sort of trouble with the law or seen the inside of a jail cell since that one faithful night i had to stay the night for my original arrest, so as you can imagine staying more then a night in jail made me shit bricks! Fastfoward to the day I turn myself in and I already mentally prepared myself for my short visit in that boring hell hole called jail. I turn myself in, get booked, get my ugly black and white stripes, and torn up orange rubber sandels. I also recieved a plastic bin that had one cup, one plastic spoon (not even spork), one roll of toilet paper, one mini tooth brush, one small bar of soap, one small towl that i could barely wrap around my waist (more like a hand towel), one tiny container of tooth paste, one matt, and last a itchy yet pretty warm blanket. The guard walks me down multiple hallways like a maze, to my suprise i wasn't kept in general population, but not in solitary. I was put in a weird inbetween cell block where i walked into this sealed room where there were two seperate cells and within those two cells were two smaller cells for your bed and bathroom. So in total there are about four people in the room including me.

When I walk into my cell i see my celly is sleeping so I quietly walk to my little cell and set up my matt on the concrete slab that was raised high off the ground for a half ass concrete bunk. It was pretty cold especially since the air vent that blows air into my cell was maybe a foot away from how high up my bunk was. As I layed there thinking about how terrible my stay there was going to be my celly woke up about thirty minutes (or what felt like thirty minutes) later and walked over to my cell. I quickly sat up and locked eyes just waiting to see what he would say. He looked around and asked if I was the new guy (obviously i was) I nodded my head and just said "yeah"in the most depressed way. He takes another look around and tells me that whenever i use the toilet to keep flushing because it takes a couple of times for the water to goes down, and leaves back to his cell. I calmly lay back down and try and rest for awhile knowing that whoever this guy was wasn't gonna give me a hard time because im new.

As I layed there with my thoughts I hear the metal door being unlocked and a gaurd yelling "chow time!" instantly i hear everyone in the room quicky get up and rush to the front of the cells. I slowely walk up and my celly looks at me and tells me to grab the cup I was given before the guard leaves. For dinner we were served chili, two slices of bread, a small salad, and a pear that was cut in half, with some really watered down grape juice. Now I cant really remember where I heard this from, but apparently that county jail had decent food. Maybe I heard that statment from an inmate from my previous over night stay because it was all still horrible, except the pear. I pretty much choked down every meal I had knowing that I wouldnt be able to eat anything else. As I was eating with my celly he broke the silence by asking who I was and what I was in for, typical cliche questions when you meet someone in jail.

After I told him my story he openly told me his side and I found out he was hauled in for burgulary of habitat and he already had burgulary priors. He has been in since the beginning of November and still waiting for a trial. I was suprised with how open he was with all his criminal history, I just think hes been so bored by himself that he wanted to talk to anybody. We end up talking for the rest of the night until lights out which was at 10pm, we stayed up talking about religion, god, and ended up talking about the illuminati and aliens after talking to him and even knowing what he has done I could tell he was genuinly a nice guy that just made some stupid mistakes like everyone else and every night he would read a verse from his bible and pray and ask for forgivness. Me personally im not that religious although i believe in a God, he spent time trying to talk to me about religion and stuff and I would listen and politely agree with him.

The next day the lights come back on around 4:30am maybe 5, and breakfest was at 5:30 so as you can imagine it was very difficult to get any sleep if you even slept since it was so damn cold and also there were guards coming in and out making noise literally every hour to do security runs. I probably got about nine hours of sleep total during my short three day stay. As you can imagine if someone is so sleep deprived they can go...a little wack or have a crazy amount of energy, like the othe two people in the cell next to me and my celly..They were two white guys who were always doing impersonations from the movie Al Capone, they would always impersonate "Baby Face" and "Sweet pea" They were usally loud but entertaining to listen to at times. Anyways the showers were awful (before anyone says anything, no I did not get raped) the shower was about 2x2ft barely enough room for anyone that was bigger than me and I only weight about 140. You had to press this one button twice for it to allow any warm water and you had to constantly push it otherwise the water turns off and you have to press it twice again and go through the cold water to warm it up. It was like a race to see if you could finish showering before the water turns cold an stop what you're doing to warm the water back up. Like I mentioned before I only had a small towel to dry myself with so by the end of it the towel is completely soaked. I spend the next god only know how long...I tried killing time by trying to air dry my towel myself, I literally counted atleast 300 shakes before my towel just became semi damp. After that i tucked my towel partially under my matt to let it hang from my bunk and let it dry the rest out that way.

The toilets..oh god the toilets..I held my shit off as long as I could so I wouldnt have to use that damn toilet. Even with toilet paper covering the seat I felt like a dirty motherfucker after I used it. Did I mention there was no laundry done? If i was gonna stay longer i wouldve crafted a line to hang all my handwashed clothes like my celly but it was just three days and I dont get really dirty. My celly was cool enough to let me use his shampoo and extra deoderant since I wasnt issued any of those luxuaries. He also gave me all his bread or anything with bread like corn dogs or biscuts because he assumes hes going to prison and doesnt wasnt to have the little gut he has now. We had absolutly no way to kill time expcept if the people in the cell next to us were cool enough to let us borrow their deck of cards for awhile. There were also small speakers built into the wall so we could call the front desk or have them put on the radio which the guards picked the station which would usually rotate from hip hop, rock, oldies, country, and spanish. The rest of the time was spent laying down, staring at the wall, or talking to my celly. Hours felt like 4 hours, the only way were able to tell time was the phone that was in the main part of our cell, which there was a number written above the phone that tells you the info of the jail and the days date and time if you dialed it.

On the last night of my stay before lock down my celly asked me to shape up the fade on the back of his head with the blade he removed from a razor. I told him that ive never cut anyones hair before, let alone use a razor blade to cut hair..He just tells me that he trust me and as long as i try to do a decent job. I knicked him a couple of times but he didnt mind, I was too scared to put pressure down to cut his already short hair so he rigged up this homemade clipper like brush. He took a comb and bent two of the teeth out and fitted the razor safley on the comb so all I had to do was pretty much comb his little hairs and shaped up his fade.

The morning that I was suppose to get out my celly wrote down all this info about his mom and baby mama and asked me to contact them and to ask them to visit him this upcoming sunday. After all that he showed me and made my stay easier I felt like this was the least I could do for the guy. I wished him goodluck with where ever he goes and assured him that i would give his mom a call when I got out, and I kept my word. Went across the street and ate at Whataburger and called the dudes mom.

So the moral of the story is kids, dont ever put yourself in any position for you to go to jail (especially a Texas jail!!) and not just stay in a holding cell but be seen and treated like a real prisoner, a criminal..This short stay made me really appreciate every home cooked meal i ever had or will have, being able to shit in private in a clean bathroom, hot showers that you dont hit your elbows when you're trying to scrub, your own warm bed, fucking Q-tips, the freedom to go to your fridge and decide what you want to drink or eat, clean clothes. Pretty much anything you've never stopped to and think to be thankful for, you should stop and realize you have it alot better than anyone in jail or prison does..I know I can never forgive myself for missing the new years and being with family and friends.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYBODY AND STAY OUT OF JAIL!!!

If you have any questions I will answer as long as they dont get too personal or just troll droppings..

 

Lol yeah I'm glad..

 

I can't stress how long I was staring at the concrete wall thinking the exact same thing.

 

I completed get what your saying Cookie, but regardless, to me if you look at it from the inside, no one should live like that just because they choose to inhale a plant that cause little harm to non to the smoker or those around them. I learned my lesson though, I don't wanna smoke or even be around it the rest of my probation. If I do it's only gonna be the same day after I report to my probation so my system has the rest of the month to clean out the thc. Even then I'ma be extremely cautious about where I'm at or who I'm with.

 

Dude, your one ballsy motherfucker. I remember when I had almost a pound of bud to make my ends and flushed it all in a heart beat when the police came a knockin. Fuck prison. Never came back up on the block since.

 

Lol damn that's rough pal, I guess that itchy blanket was a blessing

 

Well the only thing that wasn't bad was my short stay and chill cell mate but where I was we were locked in all day and night so we couldnt do trustee work and no tv or shit to do. Most boring time of my life!! Definitely wouldn't want to go back, I enjoy going to my fridge and eating real food, and drinking REAL milk that isn't served with ice lol

 

All she said was "okay" to everything I told her so I couldn't tell if she was gonna visit him or not..but I did call her like I said I would.

 

Badass song! I was locked up in San Patricio, what made matagora so special?

 

I just had to get that stress off my chest like breast reduction!