My life..

Alright. So i have been renting my house from my dad since i had to drop out when he ditched me.

I was in school, slipping cuz he was setting the bills on me, when he actually left entirely, (not like he was ever here) i had to drop drop out and get a real job. I have been working as a respected grunt at a grain elevator doing all the shit work, hacking up a lung every night i get home from the dust, and every morning i cant open my eyes without rohtos. I trade sweat for money.

I was doing well for my age, cut lawns from age 10-17, at 13 i increased the size of my business by getting rid of my small push mower and invested in a $3,400 50in. cut, 26hp Zero-Turn hydrostatic mower, paid it off 2 years early with the money i made.
Bought all kinds of beater cars to raise hell and have fun with, recently bought a 99 Dodge ram. And i take extreme pride in what I earn.

The town i live in is a population 45 gravel shit hole. Senior citizens don't appreciate the kids and what they do as kids. Every person i talk to knows me. I haven't met a new person in about 2 months.

I was sent to jail on several occassions from getting in fights with my dad. He was abusive, and i finally fought back. Turns out all the hard work gave me a bit more of a muscular edge than i would have guessed, i literally vanished for 3 weeks sitting in the detention center.


I was an angry teenager. I used my cunning but devious mind to get around alot of situations, get to drink in bars, avoid fights, direct parties, guide kids who are in a rough situation who seem to love to talk with me because they know I have been through alot of hell and i will never judge them. But adults don't like kids that are smarter than them, but unfortunate and naive about simplicity.

Since i began smoking, i found this simplicity. What really is important to me. Which is just to do whatever it takes for me to be happy. My dad made sure there was a tear on my cheek every night i went to sleep, and since hes been gone, I loved life.
He sold my house 2 weeks ago. I have till Nov. 1st to get out. Im packing all my shit, but i don't know where im going. Im saving as much as i can because im also quitting my job and getting the fuck out of this hell hole. But where?

Everything i loved doesn't seem important to me anymore. I didn't want to leave cuz of my friends here were important to me. And as they age, i slowly see them looking at me as less of a friend and more of a tool. My highschool sweetheart doesn't want to be with me anymore because shes afraid of my situation not bringing enough of a successful life for her. I owned a website community, like this one but much smaller, and it took me 6 years to build that legacy. A month ago i handed it off to one of my managers, and now the site is dieing and i wont be logging on again to the site i checked every night no matter the weather because it was what i did when i was depressed. I am literally like a god to them. But its dead. All that hard work and effort and hard times are dead and gone.

I wanna run away. Cuz now all my friends are gone, maybe I've outgrown all the things i once loved..

 

Thanks guys..
Idk i just feel exhausted with life right now. Shit never stops fallin. I thought i had everything in timing, and my dad knew that, so he sold the house.
He didn't even tell me. Some random guy at work asked me if it was true. The entire town and 2 more towns knew about it before i did.

 

^lol

I actually did take up writing for awhile, but that quickly changed to drawing when i started toking.