Every since i was young i was the outsider of the family. I got 2 older brothers and my mom and dad. I have always looked up to my older brothers, but my parents always tell me that im not as good as them....They really started to say it when i was in 8th grade when my parents and i started to conflict...i was told not to ride my freinds go-ped and i did and broke my arm when this other kid pushed me off...and i had to ahve surgey. 4 weeks after i broke my arm my dad got laid off and said i was wasting his money and ill enver be as good or grow up, because my brothers never did this. That same summer i had trouble getting into my highschool i currently attend because i have trouble with standarized test. I took summer school that was required and got a 94 in both classes and he still told me that it wasnt good and tested me till i got 100! I finally got in and my freshman year went great and i was finally challenged and achieved a 3.6 in school. My dad found a job 7 months later and had to move to kc and live down there and only come back on the weekends, which i was fine with because we have a pretty bad relationship. The summer going into my sophmore year and my sophmore year was the best it has ever ben in my life. I started talking to my current girlfreind again ( we didnt talk for a long time, since 8th grade) who fully listens to me and knows me best, and i got a 3.9 for my overall gpa. I started to smoke pot and really enjoyed it. I started mostly for curisity, but continued for its soothing effects. All was going great...until the first week of summer. I came home from work and my dad had a chair set up by the computer, he told me to go tell my mom was home and come back downstairs. I came back down and he told me not to lie about anything...i said ok. A porn picture that i got in 8th grade as a joke from a freind appeared...which i deleted but forgot to delete it in the photoshop. He thought it was my current gf and searched my email and found my myspace which had a drug reference and thought i was wasted in every pic which i wasnt. He also found grass city. My whole year that was going great just went down the drain and i ahve never felt that low in my life. The next day i got a drug test and somehow passed, but i wasnt done with my parents. They told me i was grounded for thw whole summer and trhey will never trust me and where going to sign me up for drug counseling. My dad called me a sick pereverted shit bag,w hile my mom just cried...all trust was lost. I lost all contact from everyone and that girl that was like my bestfriend and who always keep me going who accepted me no matter what. Somehow i got ungrounded 3 days later which pissed me off cuz it was fucking stupid how mad they got and then let me off..like they didnt even care or just thought i dont matter. My junior year rolled around and i started my sports and school work again...my dad still living in kc. I was doing great...3.5..and i was doing unbelieable in my sports. I started smoking again and it started helping with all ym stress and releived me of pain of my family and life. My dad moved back in in Novemeber and it well for a few weeks. I got to start talking to my gf again and life seemed to be at its best agian. We started dating and started talking ALOT which my parents hate. Ths started a conflict with my parents who are know constatly fighting and all 3 of us are at each others throat. I always just go to the basement to talk to her and get away from my parents because i hate them fighting...they think im totally disengaged and want nothing to do with them which i dont anymore. Now they sent me to counseling like im a fucking pateint and the counseler said its them that make that way. Even worse i got my gf pregnant and i just found out(a month and a week or two later) that there fucking twins....im only a junior in highschool and im not the type to abortion babies. I do not know what to do or even how to tell my parents when i haft to. Its even worse cuz she lieves lik 45 min away now and my parents and her started out on the wrong foot because to this day my dad thinks shes the onle in the porn pic i got. She has a high chance of miscarriage because she had a growth in her ovarie...but i dont even know how i will handle a baby or two (they are not 100% postive its twins). I dont know what to do with my life or how to even handle this...im 17 and she just turned 16. Im scared shitless and with my other conflict with my parents i dont even know if i can handle this..she is not worried one bit..which i cant understand. I feel like if she has them i will definatly stay with her and the babies ( weve been super close for over 6 years now, so tis not opne of those relationships like one stands or anything) and i just feel like my college plans and future are on the downfall like im in a stairwell that i cant get back up. I ahve so mich confusion adn saddness in my life and with this on top of it i feel like i can never get back up.
I understand the stress you're facing. Does your girlfriend live at home? Would her family take the two of you in for a time so you could have a stable environment to get your shit together? You need a job first off, if you don't have one already. You can assume that at least one set of grandparents will be able/willing to help out at first, but babies are expensive and you'll need every penny you can get. They will do it out of love, but you can't take advantage of that. High school can be finished through correspondance courses, or at an "off campus classroom" part time. You definately want to get your diploma, and college could still be in your future...but there are other priorities for now. You need to tell your parents what's going on. Regardless of your relationship with them, they're about to be grandparents and they should know that. Hopefully they will be supportive of you, but if they continue the way they have you might wanna think about leaving. You've got bigger things to concern yourself with. Your parents are looking at you as a child, whereas you have now thrust yourself into manhood with great force. It's not the end of your life, it's the beginning of a whole new part of it. Yours may be starting out a little rockier than some but that doesn't mean it's over. My sister is a teen mother and it's not easy, but it's where she's at. It's worth doing right. I've tried proofreading this. My minds all scattered though...might be kinda rambly. EDIT: I'll PM you my email as well... You'll probably be banned for underageishness. EDIT AGAIN: Also, you need to sit down with your girl and have a long talk. Anything and everything you can think of. You two need to be on the same level with this stuff. You mentioned you weren't for abortion, but there's two of you to make that decision. All decisions like that. You've gotta be able to work stuff out together.