So a few years back I met this girl that I thought was really hot and was like There was a carnival in town so I asked her if she wanted to go with me. We went, and I realized that this girl is who I've been looking for my whole life. Needless to say I was ecstatic and I decided I was going to ask her out. Then I found out she had a boyfriend and I swear I could feel my heart rip into small pieces and fall into my stomach. The worst part of this is that I started thinking and realized that she was way too far out of my league, I had no friends; I was a nerd who hung out at the library and talked about computers all the time. Even if she didn't have a boyfriend she would never go out with me. I went into a state of depression and wanted to kill myself even though I knew that it would be the most stupid suicide ever. Soon, though, I got tired of not being good enough for anybody and decided to change my life up completely. Fast forward 3 years to where I am now, Everybody I go to school with knows my name. People I don't even know will come up and try to talk to me like they've known me for years, even the most "popular" kids in my school. Everybody says I'm a badass and everybody wants to hang out with me. I don't think there is a single person in my high school who doesn't know my name. Ironically enough, after switching my entire life around just to be a part of the crowd, I don't want it. I'd rather be alone than hang out with people, I have to ignore calls from people all the time because everybody wants me to hang out with them and I don't want anything to do with them, even though they're really cool people. The only reason I made myself popular is to get that girl, and guess what? We're friends. She pretty much flat out told me that she can't think of me as any more than just a friend. Now I feel like I've been living a lie the past few years and hate myself even more than when I was a complete dork. Sorry for the long read, I just had to get that out. What are your thoughts?