So I was recenty arrested for possesion of a bunch of oxycontin and a drug for recovering heroin addicts (suboxone) as well as a scale, a package of baggies, and a bunch of paraphenalia. I'm being kick out of school, facing potential jail-time, and my family is falling apart arguing about this. I feel like this could be a major [negative] turning point in my life, but I don't care. It's not bothering me, I'm just taking each day as it comes and saying, fuck it, that's life, I'll be dead in a few short decades, big deal. Is something wrong with me? I mean, I'm glad I'm not freakng out about this but I feel like I should be, and the fact that I'm not is an indication that something is wrong with me. Has anyone else gone through times where their life seemed like it could be falling apart yet remained compeletey detached, emotionless, or indifferent about the whole situation?
Yeah, you get to a point where it is a fuck it situation.. But usually there is a series of events that happens before that. Speaking from experiance, had a bunch of friends pass away. Five in the last 2-3 years. Two which were like fucking family to me. My brother, and the girl I loved. Both taken within a year of eachother. Dropped out of college, quit working, started doing a bunch of drugs... well more than I was doing. lol. Five months later, came out of my being fucked up from morning to night stage and got my shit together. Everything seems to work out, I would keep your family close even through the situation, b/c they will always be there no matter what. Just tell them straight up, besides all the shit that has happaned that you love em and they will be more understanding. As far as getting kicked out of school and going to jail. Well not much you can do about it now and just suck it up. Let it play out and see where you are then. Know we had two diff. thing happen to us but I know where you are coming from. Stay up mayn.
Hey Dcrist, It really sucks to hear that you got arrested. I hate motherfucking drug laws. I mean the shit they say is illegal is just as bad as shit that is legal. I mean i see these fuckin ads selling drugs on tv and you hear a billion sideaffects. Its fucking disgusting. But back to you. I just read this book and these couple of pharses that just blew my mind. "Coincidence. The word stopped me. I though about how our reactions to coincidences mold our lives. How should i react to this one?" Thats the big question How should we react to best affect our future in life? and the answer is no one knows. Try and act as best you can, or at least simply act. It sounds like your detaching yourself from the issue, probably because you do realize how big it is but your mind is having trouble dealing with it. So no i dont think anything is wrong with you. I mean what are you suppose to do ? Keep on thinking over and over how fucked you are? Thats no good at all. I once dealt with an issue that way. Saying what will happen, will happen and if fate wishes for me to get fucked over then so be it. but thankfully my mom talked some serious sense into me. I think you have the power to change, and maybe this is a crisis that could bring out the best in you. Its in times like these that we get to know who we truly are and what were made of. You do have the power to change your situation, however minimal or drastic those changes might be. Therefore... I think you should try and do some positive things. Whatever comes to your mind, express yourself because such overwhelming emotions of feeling fucked for life or fucked can lead to depression. I think my best advice to you would be to talk to someone who has been through that real rough patch with the cops and everything or talk to someone whos opinion you really trust and figure out something that can be done. Whatever it is, if you show signs of improvement such as cleaning up and joining activities or doing something positive the judge will definitely consider it. All im really saying is that DO SOMETHING whatever it is dont just watch a critical moment in your life go by with out doing something. Cause honestly that the worst thing you can do right now. You gotta be strong bro, real fukin strong and try to do what you can. Sorry i cant be of more help I really wish i could. For the record im just a regular guy telling you my piece of advice. I aint no expert or nothing and honestly my hard times seem pretty much like rainbows and butterflies compare to what your facing. I hope it goes well. Asses the situation Determine an objectives or objectives Organize what you need to meet that objective and go full force. The fight aint over till its over so dont just give up bro.
I've never had a situation that intense but the idea of not caring no matter how bad things get is familar to me. I spent five years living life without giving a shit what happened and now I'm kinda pissed because I wish had done more with my life. If you let shit get out of control, chances are you'll turn around one day and be rather pissed at yourself about this. But it could be a healthy form of detachment. In the end, things only matter if you decide they do. Not caring isn't unhealthy so long as the source of it is intense philosophical commitment to the concept. If you don't care simply cause its easier than giving a shit, you're going to regret it one day. Blazed green gave some really proactive advice. I would just add that if you don't do anything, whether shit turns out ok or not, you will have taken a step down a bad path. At the very least put some deep thought into what your actions mean and the effects they will have on your life. TO live with no regrets you need to consider the implications your actions will have on you. I don't know if any of that is helpful or whatever, but in the end man its your life, only you can decide if this is worth caring about or not.
to the OP: That you do not care is a danger sign. Really. A big red flashing one, that you should take very serious. I'm no advocate of sobriety, but then again, I'm not that big a fan of addiction either. Especially when it leads to misery. Consider what you indulge in. Sit down, and think through your monthly use. What and how much. Add it up, and do the math. If you're not addicted, cut down on all, and stick to the tested and tried beer and weed every now and again. Not every day. On the bright side, the fog of intoxication will lift, and new horizons will be seen. Ambitions grown, and thus caring reintroduced
How bout letting the thread starter decide for himself if he can take a joke or wants to bitch me out.
I've had those moments, yep sure have, but that's all they were moments in a life that's filled with possibilities. If I can't sell you on that idea, then what I want to know is why are you shielding yourself from feeling anything? What exactly are you so terrified about bro? Ya know, a comment like this really pisses me the fuck off, it's pathetic and unimaginative.
Oxicontin addiction will would play a HUGE part in this in your mind and in the courts,could be good or it could be real bad.Are you addicted to opioids?If you have never been diagnosed with clinical depression then id say your going through normal situational depression,and the good part is this will pass but you must relize this now to gain some control.Any oxi addiction now could spin way out of control and for the sake of mostly YOU and the courts get medical help thats documented.A user in treatment is looked upon better than an oxy dealer in court,and you will be there for sure.Not addicted,then remember this is not the end but a lesson you must learn and play through till the end.Life may seem futile now but its d/t a situation,one that will pass.Good luck bro.
^^^YO chill out. The OP said he didn't care, so he opened himself up too that comment. Some people need blunt shit to make them wake up and the comment was blunt and in a way truthful. This could be the start of something that ends in intervention.
Lol? Sorry I couldn't intrigue your imagination with that one, because ya know, that was really my goal. Look obviously it sucks for the OP but chill the fuck out and stop being such a tight ass. Not like I'm making things worse, damn. That's one thing I hate about this forum, it's so touchy-feely. Anything other than complete support is looked down upon.
You may be right, I looked up self-destuctive behavior disorder and found that it was describing me. This may have been taken better by me and others if you had attempted to give adivce first and then closed with the joke. But posting the joke alone makes it difficult to determine your attitude and intentions regarding it. Thanks, you really gave some good advice, I think I may be already depressed though, as I was diagnosed with it earlier this year but stopped taking the meds for various reasons. Yeah Blazed Green, seriously. Hpwever, I have decided, and I would like to bitch you out [insert bitching out here]. I guess I'm afraid of not knowing whats next, and what could happen to me, and how that could effect the relationship with the love of my life. I have been diagnosed with depression. And I'm not sure if I'm addicted, I often go weeks without it, but when I do do it I find myself doing it several times a day. Thanks to everyone who replied.
I've never been in your situation before so I can't offer any helpful advice, but hopefully my last post cleared up my attitude regarding your situation. haha okay. Here though, I'll offer up some advice: Stop doing opiates.
You should get a competent attorney and addressing the diagnosed depression and the absence of anti depressants and drug use as a first time affender may get you a drug deversion program and keep you out of jail and with the love of your life.Sounds like you really love her.
Thanks for the suggestion. And I love her more then anything else. I knew I was going to marry her the first time we spoke.
I could tell dude,i had one of those once and drugs made her slip right through my life,i think about her all the time.Pick yourself up knowing you will be all right WITH her always if thats really the way you feel.With depression,even temp.depression she may be your biggest inspiration and if she knows this in her heart and you are the one for her she will stand by you through and through.In the end with whatever happends you will still be with the one who loves you not for what you didnt do,but for how you went through the fire with her by your side and didnt even get burned.I think she just mite be worth it bro,how about you?
I actually kinda feel bad for you if this is the only conclusion that you can draw from what I said. What I should have said, and made it a bit clearer for you is that a lack of imagination is not a good thing. You read a post by someone that's reaching out to his brothers and sisters and all you can muster is a flippant comment about a fucked up show? That's what I mean by a lack of imagination and I should have also added a lack of heart as well, which would have made my point a bit clearer and spared you the time to post more of the same. Good luck with your attitude though; I'm sure its going to take you far in life. Peace. I can understand that, most of us can, but what now? You've looked at yourself and come to a conclusion about why you've closed yourself off, you know that you do actually feel, you do actually care about the direction of your life, so what now? You also realize that turning your emotions off isn't working either, that's so important. Your life may be experiencing some disturbance but you're still trying to find a way out of it whether you know it or not. My advice: face this, feel this, and move on from it. No one can give you solutions to a problem if you hide from it, or try to turn off you feelings. Solutions only work if you brace yourself for what's to come. Sometimes a solution to a problem isn't a set options proposed by the people that care about you, sometimes the solution is for a man to stand and face what he's running from. "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself. "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." ~Elenor Roosevelt~ Good luck bro. Stay green.